I've lost my mind...

Everytime I smoke marijuana it is like I've lost my mind. I keep thinking the marijuana is laced with something else because I just haven't ever felt like this before when I smoke it.

Very strange...

I believe it fully that when I smoke marijuana I become so intune with everything around me that I can sense other people's emotions and because my own emotions are so damaged I personify this emotional sensation into emotions of my own.

If somebody is putting on a face but really feels sad inside, I will sense that sadness and personify it into my own sadness because I can't deal with the emotion.

I think I may of lost my mind.

I keep having the most amazing dreams, dreams of other people's lives. Dreams of other people's emotions. Dreams of other people and what they want to do, how they feel against their environment. I dream of other people's achievements and of other people's goals, but I when I wake up the goals and the achievements can only be remembered as a memory.. As a dream..

I think I may of lost it.

Everybody just goes through the process of thinking automatically subconsciously.
But I've broken it down
There are six processes to how to think. Current society knows of 3 of them, but I know of 3 more and maybe a seventh.

They believe the mind can be broken down into Cognitive, Executive, and emotional functioning but that's not the most basic forms of processing.

I was born with PDD-NOS.
It means I have a pervasive developmental disorder but its not otherwise specified, which includes a-typical autism, personality disorders like childhood schizoprenia and multiple-personality disorder.
In many ways people think I am autistic, in some ways I have slight autism, in other ways I have full-on savantism. I think there are more than one of me, though.

I think something is changing in me and I have no control over it.

You know those little specs of black, red, and other colors when you stare at one point for awhile? They usually appear in your peripherals and at the center of your vision.
The other day I imagined all of those little spots to make up little sections of a calender which I could visualize infront of me personified as the little specs. I felt like I had the savant splinter skill of instant calendar recall.

I don't think you've lost your mind. My girlfriend gets that way sometimes. Some people are more receptive to what is around them. The dreams probably have a ton of meanings, maybe you should be helping others achive their goals, and that in turn will help you reach yours. Just my opinion.

or maybe he lost his mind?

:idk:

The imagined calendar visualized in front of me could be rotated and each number for each day presented as a flip box which I could visually zoom onto. I imagined after a little while another set of numbers "1989" just beside the calender which I could shift from 1989 to 1988 1987 and each time I shifted it all of the calendar boxes shifted as well to represent the correct month and dates.

Did you remember anything to do with those dates?

I look at people and for some reason I can understand the truth behind everything that creates negative energy within them. I can sense the energy and personify it into emotions of either negativity, passive, or positivity

I didn't understand what to do. It isn't my job to understand what to do, it is my job to process information.

Another side of me has a job too, and like six other ones as well.
There is one named Tim who narrates as a voice in my head everything I see or am feeling. He has the jobs of reasoning and logic.

He wants the jobs of Judgement. He will never get them. Another one has that job, of Judgement and rationalization.

Theres a very young one who doesn't speak much at all, neither when he takes control and neither when he talks to me. He controls physical touch, and speaks to me through bodily sensations, and has the job of memory.

There's another one I came to know recently. It is me. At first I thought I was jobless, but I did laugh alot.

then I came to realize I couldn't initiate anything or begin any conversation unless there was already information to process.

then I came to realize that was my jobs: To laugh, and to process information.

It is so strange...

I don't know why it is happening and I don't like how it is happening. I wish it wouldn't happen.
However I can understand beyond anything I could even grasp before.

I believe I am a buddha. Not a buddhist, not somebody who studies how Buddha lives.. but as a Buddha who teaches by the way he lives.