Joke of the day

a man and his new bride are driving on their honeymoon when they come across an old farm house with a "room for rent" sign.. they decided to spend their honeymoon there,instead of the typical places because they felt it would be more romantic...

after talking to the farmer they came to an agreement to spend a week there...

the first morning the farmer woke up and cooked a huge breakfast for the newly weds.. after knockin on their door to tell them breakfast ready, the man answers and says "thanks but we are fine.. we are living on the fruits of our love".. the farmer figures they are busy, beinging just married and all, and leaves them be for the day..

the second morning he wakes up figuring they have to be starving by now.. they didnt come out of the room the day before.. they have to be right... so he cooks another huge breakfast for them.. upon knocking on the door the husband again answers and says the same thing.. "thanks, but we are fine.. we are living on the fruits of our love." this irritates the farmer, since he spent the time cooking and all, but again lets it go and continues with with his day..

the third day he knows they are going to eat... he wakes up extra early.. gets fresh eggs from the chickens.. fresh milk from the cows... cooks the biggest breakfast you've ever seen... goes up to the door and knocks.. the husband answers and starts to say "thanks but we are fine".. before he could get it out, the farmer, who is pissed by now, says "yes yes i know you are living on the fruits of your love.. but will you stop throwing your peelings out the window.. they are killing my chickens..."


hahaha get it.. the peelings are condoms.. and the couple throws them out the window and the chickens eat them and die.. yeah.. it was a lot funnier when i was young...

reminds me of another joke...


3 friends are talking one night.. tommy was telling the story of farmer bob to billy and ralphy... the story of farmer bob is that no one has ever stolen anything from his fields.. and if he catches you trying to, whatever you are trying to steal, he sticks up your ass... niether of the other two friends really believe that he would do that, but being young cocky kids they each decide they will be the first to steal something from farmer bob...

the next night the friends all meet up at the farm house.... ralphy decides he would go first.. tells the other two he'll see them tomorrow in school.. and takes off into the fields... the next day at school ralphy is walking a little funny... of course his friends ask what happens.. "well there i was in the apple orchard, with an apple in hand, when farmer bob caught me and shoved the apple in my ass"... this gave the other two friends quite the laugh...

billy speaks up and says "tonight is my night.. i will be the first to steal something from farmer bob.."... the next day at school billy shows up walking even funnier than ralphy was... of course they want to know what happens.. "so there i was, in the cucumber patch.. i had the biggest cucumber i could find in my hand when farmer bob caught me... and well... he shoved the thing up my ass"... this made both of the other boys laugh so hard they almost cried.. an apple was bad, but a whole cucumber...

now its tommy's turn.. he swears to the guys that he will be the first to get something from farmer bob... that the other two kids were just to slow and not "good" enough to get the job done... so they all split up for the day awaiting a great story of victory the next day at school...

well the next day only ralphy and billy showed up... billy, confused, asks ralphy what happened to tommy...
"you dont want to know billy.."
"yes i do ralphy.. what happened to tommy?!? did he get in trouble??"
"worse than that billy"
"well what happened?!?!?!" billy screams

ralphy looks down, shakes his head, and says "billy, tommy got caught trying to steal a watermelon"


hahahaha another great one...

and one last one to top it all off..


3 guys get stranded on an island... they end up being captured by the local tribesman and is taken to their tribe leader...

the leader looks at the first guy and asks "death or tiki"

the guy thinks for a second and decides he doesnt want to die and says tiki... so the tribe take him and anal rape him for an hour...

the leader looks at the second guy and asks him next "death or tiki?"

the second guy decides anything is better than dieing and says "tiki".. so the tribe take him and anal rape him for an hour too..

the leader looks at the last guy and asks "death or tiki"

the third guy, who was a manly man, decides that he would rather die than have to deal with the anal raping... so he looks the tribe leader dead in the eyes and says "i'll take death"..

the tribe leader looks back at him and says "ok... death.... by tiki"

What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?



"THEY'RE RIGHT!"

"WE DO TASTE LIKE CHICKEN!"

Okay, so these two nuts were walking down the street... One was assaulted... HAHA

My girl keeps asking me for the ring. I just keep giving her the finger!

Q:Whats the best part about being a Pedophile?

A: Getting blood on your clown suit.

Why did the pervert cross the road?




He had his dick stuck in a chicken.

--------------what part of a womans body never changes---------------
THE TOP OF HER HEAD..

What do you call a dinosaur that wears glasses? Doyouthinkhesaurus?

mygirls said:

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts.
He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth In the
middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he
turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear.

He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in
deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they
became worried and decided to go to the hospital.

As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with
her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date
said he could get the peanut out.

The young man told the father to sit down, then proceeded to shove two
fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard.

When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear.

The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man
insisted that it was nothing.

Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said, 'That's so
wonderful! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he
grows older?'

The father replied, 'From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law.'

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lol,late night cable,that lil man has good joke's<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/eJs63VfSrgI&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/eJs63VfSrgI&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

oh wow all these damn jokes lol

wheres the Billy mays jokes man ?

what does a hillbilly boy say after the first time he has sex? Get of me pa your crushin my smokes

.

Adults only please!

uh, I'm still wonderin'

what do you call a 3 legged donkey? WONKEY lol how sad am i laughing at my own crap joke pmsl

slabhead said:

uh, I'm still wonderin'

Click to expand...

hahaha DITTO!!!

how do you keep a dummy thinking

Woomeister said:

What do you call a dinosaur that wears glasses? Doyouthinkhesaurus?

Click to expand...

Hahaha, Jurassic Park.... CLASSIC!

How do you know if a politician is lying? His lips are moving....

What do you call 50 politicians standing in a circle? Dope Ring...

And for the truly ripped among us... What do a bunny and a plum have in common? They are both purple except for the bunny....