Just witnessed a friend die

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Growingforpeace

Well-Known Member
I was just walking home from the gym and i saw the stray cat I always feed. I have been feeding it and its little buddies for a while, but this one the longest. It always comes up to my house and even walks in sometimes when the door is open looking for me. It didnt trust me too much from years on the street I suppose but enough for me to get close. As i walked by I though i should call it over, it got really spooked for some reason and darted into the street. A car was driving by and ran it over completely, crushing its skull send blood flying and leaving the cute cat writhing in pain. It couldnt get up it just wiggled in pain in its own blood and i couldnt stand to see anymore so I ran into my house. I feel so sick like its my own fault, why today did i feel the need to get closer to the cat. God, im so sad now. Guilty too. It is my fault, it was such a cute cat, tuxedo black with some white spots. I feel like this is the only place to get this off my chest. If any of you read this, I hope you understand that you got to appreciate it all even the little things.
 
curious2garden

curious2garden

Well-Known Mod
Staff member
Growingforpeace said:
I was just walking home from the gym and i saw the stray cat I always feed. I have been feeding it and its little buddies for a while, but this one the longest. It always comes up to my house and even walks in sometimes when the door is open looking for me. It didnt trust me too much from years on the street I suppose but enough for me to get close. As i walked by I though i should call it over, it got really spooked for some reason and darted into the street. A car was driving by and ran it over completely, crushing its skull send blood flying and leaving the cute cat writhing in pain. It couldnt get up it just wiggled in pain in its own blood and i couldnt stand to see anymore so I ran into my house. I feel so sick like its my own fault, why today did i feel the need to get closer to the cat. God, im so sad now. Guilty too. It is my fault, it was such a cute cat, tuxedo black with some white spots. I feel like this is the only place to get this off my chest. If any of you read this, I hope you understand that you got to appreciate it all even the little things.
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Ok here's what is important to know. The cat was not in any pain. The moment the head was crushed all pain stopped. The writhing is merely reflexes firing nothing more than the system dying. But your friend's awareness or feelings were not there.

How do you get those images out of your head? That I can't answer maybe someone else can?
I am sorry.
 
G

Growingforpeace

Well-Known Member
curious2garden said:
Ok here's what is important to know. The cat was not in any pain. The moment the head was crushed all pain stopped. The writhing is merely reflexes firing nothing more than the system dying. But your friend's awareness or feelings were not there.

How do you get those images out of your head? That I can't answer maybe someone else can?
I am sorry.
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Thank you, I guess thats a possibilty, I hope it wasnt in pain.
 
W

Wilksey

Well-Known Member
That sucks.

I've got a few local critters that come and hang out from time to time, and I don't like to see them go either.

That's the way she goes though man.

The fuckin' way she goes.
 
ElfoodStampo

ElfoodStampo

Well-Known Member
Growingforpeace said:
I was just walking home from the gym and i saw the stray cat I always feed. I have been feeding it and its little buddies for a while, but this one the longest. It always comes up to my house and even walks in sometimes when the door is open looking for me. It didnt trust me too much from years on the street I suppose but enough for me to get close. As i walked by I though i should call it over, it got really spooked for some reason and darted into the street. A car was driving by and ran it over completely, crushing its skull send blood flying and leaving the cute cat writhing in pain. It couldnt get up it just wiggled in pain in its own blood and i couldnt stand to see anymore so I ran into my house. I feel so sick like its my own fault, why today did i feel the need to get closer to the cat. God, im so sad now. Guilty too. It is my fault, it was such a cute cat, tuxedo black with some white spots. I feel like this is the only place to get this off my chest. If any of you read this, I hope you understand that you got to appreciate it all even the little things.
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You can't save them all.
I completely know how you feel. The fact you feel the way you do shows you care,. I think that's awesome.
You fed the cat and were a friend to him. Take the love you had for that one and find another to help. Go to the humane society and take one home. We all have to go eventually, so it's all about the ride. Go share your love with other animals. :)
regardless, don't beat yourself up. Its all part of life. Death is a messy business and you may never forget that moment, ever. But it will shape who you are tomorrow and what you decide to do with that is up to you.
 
VTMi'kmaq

VTMi'kmaq

Well-Known Member
strap a 1/4 stick of dynamite to the car that hit your friend and Heisenberg there asses! then we'll see pain!
 
stoned cockatoo

stoned cockatoo

New Member
Growingforpeace said:
I was just walking home from the gym and i saw the stray cat I always feed. I have been feeding it and its little buddies for a while, but this one the longest. It always comes up to my house and even walks in sometimes when the door is open looking for me. It didnt trust me too much from years on the street I suppose but enough for me to get close. As i walked by I though i should call it over, it got really spooked for some reason and darted into the street. A car was driving by and ran it over completely, crushing its skull send blood flying and leaving the cute cat writhing in pain. It couldnt get up it just wiggled in pain in its own blood and i couldnt stand to see anymore so I ran into my house. I feel so sick like its my own fault, why today did i feel the need to get closer to the cat. God, im so sad now. Guilty too. It is my fault, it was such a cute cat, tuxedo black with some white spots. I feel like this is the only place to get this off my chest. If any of you read this, I hope you understand that you got to appreciate it all even the little things.
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lmfao I did not expect this, brutally written. are you going to go scrape it off the road since it was your friend?
 
Grandpapy

Grandpapy

Well-Known Member
I cant tell how to feel but the guilt lies with those that tormented the little guy way before you met him.

sorry for your loss.

As for getting the images out of your head, I remember seeing my German Shepherd being hit by a brand new 73 Impala. I was crushed (not physically) it was my first loss, of any kind. I like to think it makes us love life just a little more.
 
cannabineer

cannabineer

Ursus marijanus
Growingforpeace said:
I was just walking home from the gym and i saw the stray cat I always feed. I have been feeding it and its little buddies for a while, but this one the longest. It always comes up to my house and even walks in sometimes when the door is open looking for me. It didnt trust me too much from years on the street I suppose but enough for me to get close. As i walked by I though i should call it over, it got really spooked for some reason and darted into the street. A car was driving by and ran it over completely, crushing its skull send blood flying and leaving the cute cat writhing in pain. It couldnt get up it just wiggled in pain in its own blood and i couldnt stand to see anymore so I ran into my house. I feel so sick like its my own fault, why today did i feel the need to get closer to the cat. God, im so sad now. Guilty too. It is my fault, it was such a cute cat, tuxedo black with some white spots. I feel like this is the only place to get this off my chest. If any of you read this, I hope you understand that you got to appreciate it all even the little things.
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I understand the urge to beat yourself up. As has been said, this one was not your fault. I hope you can remind yourself that you showed kindness to this animal. I hope this doesn't turn off your capacity to allow your kindness to come out in an uncertain world. i am sending you all kinds of good thoughts right now.
 
see4

see4

Well-Known Member
1 star thread. Be more tactful in your delivery. I almost think you are saying this as a joke.

I hate hearing stories like this, so my 1 star may be my own selfishness.
 
G

Growingforpeace

Well-Known Member
Not a fucking joke man, and i couldnt give two shits about my tactful delivery. The fact is i feel crushed, and i cant put into words how i feel. I also couldnt care less about my threads ratings, i just wanted to write my feelings and this story to help myself. Thank all of you for the kind words, i just feel so cheated knowing im a good person and this happens. I still havent conpletely grasped it yet, i have had family die but have felt they were at peace and it was their time. I have bever felt responsible for another death and one so brutal. It was such a cute little fella and real nice too no matter how skinny and hungry he looked he would do a little dance where he went in and out from under cars to check if it was safe to eat. I hope i can get the images out of my mind.
 
cannabineer

cannabineer

Ursus marijanus
Growingforpeace said:
Not a fucking joke man, and i couldnt give two shits about my tactful delivery. The fact is i feel crushed, and i cant put into words how i feel. I also couldnt care less about my threads ratings, i just wanted to write my feelings and this story to help myself. Thank all of you for the kind words, i just feel so cheated knowing im a good person and this happens. I still havent conpletely grasped it yet, i have had family die but have felt they were at peace and it was their time. I have bever felt responsible for another death and one so brutal. It was such a cute little fella and real nice too no matter how skinny and hungry he looked he would do a little dance where he went in and out from under cars to check if it was safe to eat. I hope i can get the images out of my mind.
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I have had something like that happen to me and it was my fault. I got yer back.
 
see4

see4

Well-Known Member
Growingforpeace said:
Not a fucking joke man, and i couldnt give two shits about my tactful delivery. The fact is i feel crushed, and i cant put into words how i feel. I also couldnt care less about my threads ratings, i just wanted to write my feelings and this story to help myself. Thank all of you for the kind words, i just feel so cheated knowing im a good person and this happens. I still havent conpletely grasped it yet, i have had family die but have felt they were at peace and it was their time. I have bever felt responsible for another death and one so brutal. It was such a cute little fella and real nice too no matter how skinny and hungry he looked he would do a little dance where he went in and out from under cars to check if it was safe to eat. I hope i can get the images out of my mind.
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you're right man. i would be crushed too. and maybe i was quick to judge. curious, why did you not let the cat in? i get pissed when i see cats outside in congested areas of traffic. i sometimes wish i could simply drive up to the owners house, take out my 45, knock on the door, and shoot them in the face when they answer. and say, "see how it feels to neglect bitch", and walk away.

ive seen a cat get hit by a car before. and it was really sad. it could have been prevented. the douchebag driver was tailgating, and if they werent would have likely missed the cat, and I was far enough behind that person so I surely would not have hit the cat.

so, yea, Im sorry to hear. but I stand by the fact I wish I had not read this thread to begin with. these stories always make me sad.
 
stoned cockatoo

stoned cockatoo

New Member
what you are feeling is the product of society trying to overprotect you from the horrors of life, now your bubble has burst.

This might sound harsh but if you are this distraught over a cat that you could never even get close to, then if I were you id try to not open my mind to all the way more terrible shit that happens daily round the world
 
ProfessorPotSnob

ProfessorPotSnob

New Member
If you live enough and long enough you ll see every form of life dead on the road including people . Be it by others neglect , accidents or just plain out murder . Blood on the pavement makes me sick but I can not change man and his modern marvels .. Being Indian I learnt at a young age to say a prayer for every victim encountered upon my journeys be it scaled , winged or four legged .. Seen a man hit and killed once too while he stepped into the street drunk with an ice cream cone .. Old f15o drove away and the man never knew what hit him ..
 
M

minnesmoker

Well-Known Member
Growingforpeace said:
I was just walking home from the gym and i saw the stray cat I always feed. I have been feeding it and its little buddies for a while, but this one the longest. It always comes up to my house and even walks in sometimes when the door is open looking for me. It didnt trust me too much from years on the street I suppose but enough for me to get close. As i walked by I though i should call it over, it got really spooked for some reason and darted into the street. A car was driving by and ran it over completely, crushing its skull send blood flying and leaving the cute cat writhing in pain. It couldnt get up it just wiggled in pain in its own blood and i couldnt stand to see anymore so I ran into my house. I feel so sick like its my own fault, why today did i feel the need to get closer to the cat. God, im so sad now. Guilty too. It is my fault, it was such a cute cat, tuxedo black with some white spots. I feel like this is the only place to get this off my chest. If any of you read this, I hope you understand that you got to appreciate it all even the little things.
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I applaud your apparent balancing of life (all life) as equal. Annie's right, when it comes to fucked up in the head (don't take it that way, Annie, I'm complimenting you.) She knows her shit.
 
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