need some advice please

dank smoker420 · May 10, 2012

so i have been going out with this girl for about 3 years and today she tells me she cheated on me when she was visiting her dad a year and a half ago. and i dont know what to do now. im pretty sure that she hasnt since then since were normally always together but idk. i dont know what to say or do. and i also have my finals today which makes it even more awesome.

Shannon Alexander · May 10, 2012

I was in a similar situation once... Moved past the initial incident with a lot of mixed feelings... then she cheated again...

Never trust a cheater...

dank smoker420 · May 10, 2012

hmm thats not good. i want to trust her cause she is one cool chick. and i always have fun with her.

growinthedesert · May 10, 2012

I wouldnt trust her they tend to repeat shit like that(if they cheat once they'll do it again)

missnu · May 10, 2012

Hmmm...sometimes cheating is a moment of weakness or anger, and then other times it is indicative of something else. So, once a cheater always a cheater is debatable and depends on the person really...i mean sometimes I think there are 1 time mistakes, but often times cheating is a sign of a serious issue, either with the relationship or the person or people themselves.

bowlfullofbliss · May 10, 2012

She is telling you goodbye by saying what she did a long time ago....she doesnt' want to be the one to do it bro. Just IMO...

scroglodyte · May 10, 2012

took a lot of heart to tell you, when she had gotten away with it. she must really care about you. but.....beat'r ass anyway (jk)

Fungus Gnat · May 10, 2012

A good question is why did she tell you? Wants you to get angry and break up with her so she feels less guilty?

Watch too many sappy love movies where the person is rewarded for their honesty?

"You seem too happy I'm going to ruin your day and make my burden yours."

dozer777 · May 10, 2012

To the curb! What happens when she goes to visit her dad again?

kizphilly · May 10, 2012

if i was u i would tell her to kick rocks dont waste your time cause mostlikely she will do it again been there sorry

Hugo Phurst · May 10, 2012

When's the last time you had a STD test?

I agree with most of the others, she's not going to stop fucking around. So consider it "an open relationship".

Josh3235 · May 10, 2012

LOL. Don't get back with her. She obviously has no self control and has problems.

scroglodyte · May 10, 2012

get some strange to even the score, and move on. in a year and a half.......tell her.

Fungus Gnat · May 10, 2012

scroglodyte said:
get some strange to even the score, and move on. in a year and a half.......tell her.

Or he can pretend forgive her.

Then the following morning leave money on the nightstand, pack everything that's his and move.

johny112 · May 10, 2012

Fungus Gnat said:
Or he can pretend forgive her.
hen the following morning leave money on the nightstand, pack everything that's his and move.

I would totally do this. But sorry for your situation man, so many things you could do its kinda hard to choose to leave her or forgive her and risk the chance again. Some girls hate it when you just dont say anything and pack up and leave, they want closure.

dank smoker420 · May 10, 2012

Fungus Gnat said:
A good question is why did she tell you? Wants you to get angry and break up with her so she feels less guilty?

Watch too many sappy love movies where the person is rewarded for their honesty?

"You seem too happy I'm going to ruin your day and make my burden yours."

she said that she couldnt hold it in anymore and had to tell me cause it hurt her so bad.
she was alot more hurt by the situation then me. since its a year and a half ago and she doesnt seem like she is cheating on me now. this totaly came out of the blue. we normally do like everything together. still dont know what to do. idk how i will think of her after this. the problem is i do love her and nothing seems suspecious now. shes the only person i truly trust. or atleast trusted.

dank smoker420 · May 10, 2012

Hugo Phurst said:
When's the last time you had a STD test?

I agree with most of the others, she's not going to stop fucking around. So consider it "an open relationship".

she goes to the doc more than i do and she gets tested normally everytime and its always negetive

Fungus Gnat · May 10, 2012

dank smoker420 said:
she said that she couldnt hold it in anymore and had to tell me cause it hurt her so bad.
she was alot more hurt by the situation then me. since its a year and a half ago and she doesnt seem like she is cheating on me now. this totaly came out of the blue. we normally do like everything together. still dont know what to do. idk how i will think of her after this. the problem is i do love her and nothing seems suspecious now. shes the only person i truly trust. or atleast trusted.

She told you because she wanted to feel better, you were obvious and happy until she told you. She basically made you feel like shit so she could feel better about what she did. Now she can tell herself "oh he wasn't so mad about it I can feel better about it."

If she loved you she would have taken that shit to the grave.

johny112 · May 10, 2012

She wanted closure. And how is that not cheating since it was over year ago, if yall were together then its cheating. Sorry man.

curious2garden · May 10, 2012

dank smoker420 said:
she said that she couldnt hold it in anymore and had to tell me cause it hurt her so bad. ....snip.....

How kind and thoughtful of her to unload her conscience on you during your finals. Imagine the wonderful future every time you are under the gun she adds to the burden. Worse as life goes on the complexity goes up.

I would not break up with her but I would back off and become less available. While you are working on getting through school do you really need this drama to distract you? Focus on school and have fun with groups of people and for your own sanity just defer intense emotional relationships until after you graduate.

need some advice please

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Active Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Active Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Active Member

Well-Known Mod