need some family advice about an abused child
- Thread starter Drgreenz
- Start date
not what is going on at all
tnrtinr
Well-Known Member
It kind of sounds that way.
Treating her like she is damaged goods. He can only be around her in the presence of 2 women, 100% supervision, security cameras, never alone.
So Drgreenz do you doubt the legitamcy of her molestation claims? It sounds like the police believed them, it sounds like a jury / judge believed them. So it doesn't sound like they were false or unfounded claims.
Why would you think that she may claim you sexually violated her? If you agree that the allegations were true then why would you be afraid of allegations?
tnrtinr
Well-Known Member
It kind of sounds that way.
Treating her like she is damaged goods. He can only be around her in the presence of 2 women, 100% supervision, security cameras, never alone.
So Drgreenz do you doubt the legitimacy of her molestation claims? It sounds like the police believed them, it sounds like a jury / judge believed them. So it doesn't sound like they were false or unfounded claims.
Why would you think that she may claim you sexually violated her? If you agree that the allegations were true then why would you be afraid of allegations or whispers of others if you do not act inappropriately?
Stoney McFried
Well-Known Member
I think he's right to be cautious since she already made a move on him.People talk.Rumors can be very damaging, even if there is no truth to them.
Drgreenz
Well-Known Member
First off, no one is treating her as "damaged goods" we are discussing the safest ways to help her(safest for her and me)
Second, nobody doubts anything that happened, and her little brother actually got the majority of it but he was still very young, while she is old enough to know exactly what was happening. But statistics show that people especially girls who have gone through those types of things come to rely on sex to get what they want. I am not particularly afraid of her ever making something up but it is safe to have your bases covered no matter what. And rumors can start easily and can be very damaging to anyone involved.
Sgt. Floyd
Well-Known Member
I had a psychology teacher who worked in child protective services before he was a teacher. He told us a ton of stories about people who would call in allegations of child abuse, sexual or otherwise. By law they had to investigate. He said he saw wives kick their husbands out, people lose their jobs and other fucked shit even when the allegations turned out to be false. Once the rumors start you're damaged. And there's no telling what a girl who has been that mistreated might do. It certainly wouldn't be the first time for something like that to happen.
heatherlailani
Member
she is lost. the same thing happened to my cousin. you need to get her out of whereever she is, something terrible has happened to her. she is looking for someone to love her she just doesnt know how to find it =[
heatherlailani
Member
i totally get where you are coming from tho. kids who have been abused sometimes make things up for attention, they think attention means someone cares for them. you never know what she would say
tnrtinr
Well-Known Member
Seems like you know what to do. Take all of the precautions you feel necessary - I just think some recommendations were a little excessive assuming you are not the type of person that people assume would be capable of such heinous acts (yeah - I know all types molest - but there are types of people that arouse suspecion).
Treat her like all of the other kids. Don't go out of your way to be alone with her, but don't be paranoid if someone leaves the room. You have stated that she was talked to about her sexual behavior - so I assume she knows the boundry now. Don't let her use sex as a currency to get any attention from you. I don't know what rumors you are referring to - but for someone to see a young girl with a like / crush on her uncle is taking a huge leap to think that her uncle is molesting her (assuming you don't lick your lips when you see her).
Kinda sad to read people say that victims of legitimate abuse are prone to falsely accuse others. See Myth #7: http://www.leadershipcouncil.org/1/res/csa_myths.html
i was thinking more along the lines of what others may make up. dude across the street may know the story and start telling lies because he doesn't like your lawn. "i see them alone all the time."
Drgreenz
Well-Known Member
good site yea i dont know about everyone but i was thinking more about what the other "adults" around might say more than her. All it takes is for some other person to say "an aunt/uncle cant have a loving relationship with a kid there must be something else" and then everyone's reputation is screwed. its sad especially since when i was growing up a good 80% of my free days were spent at some aunt or uncle's cabin hangin out with them so to me that is what families do.
And the only time i lick my lips when she comes in is if she's got something hot off the grill lol i love food.
