Not an Indian giver

mora

mora

Active Member
I work at a gas station so I have the luck to find lots of odd coins, old coins, and foreign money. One day this kid came in to the store and she bought a bag of chips. She paid for it with a silver dollar. Walking Liberty. I took the coin and replaced it with a dollar.

One day I found a token that had breast on one said and a ass on the other.

So i brought these each home and gave them to my wife for her coin collection. Many months later till about three weeks ago I found out that my wife had given these coins to her brother.

Now I know that a did give them to her and she in theory have the right to give them away etc.

But that fucking pisses me off. I took the coins from the box he was keeping them in. Call me a thief if you want but I'll be damn if I will let him have my coins.


MY brothers in laws wife moved out in February and in may she started coming around again. She said something about having a tiny TV at the place she lives now. SO I offered the one I had in storage for her to use. So she went and got it and took it to her house. So now she has moved back in and she brought the TV back. It sat in the back of the car for three weeks. Then today she took it and gave it to her mom.

I am not 100% that i said she could have it. But I don't think that was my intention.

I don't know if there is a word for this but I think that if I give someone something I should have 1st crack at it if they are getting rid of it.

I might be wrong. Your thoughts?
 
TogTokes

TogTokes

Well-Known Member
mora said:
I work at a gas station so I have the luck to find lots of odd coins, old coins, and foreign money. One day this kid came in to the store and she bought a bag of chips. She paid for it with a silver dollar. Walking Liberty. I took the coin and replaced it with a dollar.

One day I found a token that had breast on one said and a ass on the other.

So i brought these each home and gave them to my wife for her coin collection. Many months later till about three weeks ago I found out that my wife had given these coins to her brother.

Now I know that a did give them to her and she in theory have the right to give them away etc.

But that fucking pisses me off. I took the coins from the box he was keeping them in. Call me a thief if you want but I'll be damn if I will let him have my coins.


MY brothers in laws wife moved out in February and in may she started coming around again. She said something about having a tiny TV at the place she lives now. SO I offered the one I had in storage for her to use. So she went and got it and took it to her house. So now she has moved back in and she brought the TV back. It sat in the back of the car for three weeks. Then today she took it and gave it to her mom.

I am not 100% that i said she could have it. But I don't think that was my intention.

I don't know if there is a word for this but I think that if I give someone something I should have 1st crack at it if they are getting rid of it.

I might be wrong. Your thoughts?
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Actually.. If you give it to someone it is theirs. Not yours.. Hence giving it away..

Nothing to see here people move on!
 
Hepheastus420

Hepheastus420

Well-Known Member
I admit that the coin thing was pretty messed up. I wouldn't have took it back from her brother though. I would have let him keep it and I wouldn't give my girl any more coins lol. And the TV thing is fine of that chick to do. She probably thought you were gonna get rid of that TV anyways.
 
ssj4jonathan

ssj4jonathan

Well-Known Member
Maybe you shouldnt be giving the stuff you are so attached to away. Once you give someone your stuff--without a formal agreement to give it back when its no longer needed--dont expect anything back. You taking your stuff back from quasi family after its already been gifted, and in most cases re-gifted to another, makes you a indian giver 100%. I dont know but your story, in particular your quasi family's behavior, comes off as trailer park drama. No offense but thats the picture i got after reading your story...lol Meh, thats my 2cents.
 
blazinkill504

blazinkill504

Well-Known Member
ssj4jonathan said:
Maybe you shouldnt be giving the stuff you are so attached to away. Once you give someone your stuff--without a formal agreement to give it back when its no longer needed--dont expect anything back. You taking your stuff back from quasi family after its already been gifted, and in most cases re-gifted to another, makes you a indian giver 100%. I dont know but your story, in particular your quasi family's behavior, comes off as trailer park drama. No offense but thats the picture i got after reading your story...lol Meh, thats my 2cents.
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can you explain what kinda drama is specifically hoaned into trailer parks? lol god some peoples kids these days...smh if you gave it to yo wife an she gave it up there isnt really much you can do besides take it back if you can or just bitch at her for it. the tv thing is a toss up esp if you cant exactly recall if she could have it. she could have thought you said take it cause you dont use it and it sittin in the vehicle only in her head made it seem you really didnt want it back so she gave it up. either way man that sucks, but atleast its all family so if you really need it im sure they'd return it. you done jacked the coins back tho hahaha has he noticed yet?
 
DuplicatePie

DuplicatePie

Active Member
You guys might have some kind of argument about the coins, doesn't really matter. I can kind of she his rationale here...maybe he thinks her brother is a douchebag and doesn't want him to have the coins. But, she brought the TV back to him, hence it changed owners back to the original one, and therefore he would have the rights to it...under the idea of "once you give something to someone it's theirs now". So in essence she stole it and gave it to her mom, but if it was something you didn't really give a shit about in the first place I'm not too sure why you care...possibly you would have just liked for her to ask you if it was ok that she give something that you let her borrow to someone else?
 
RawBudzski

RawBudzski

Well-Known Member
If you gave your child some money & told him to spend it wisely, then he goes and gives it to a homeless man, or spends it on a meal for him & his friends. Would you be upset?

Ehh, alright.. my parents used to give me money knowing they could not afford it, I knew they could not afford it.. though I blew it fast, usually attempting to be "Normal" like everyone else & be able to Give or Share.. to Put In. I was just trying to do good knowing I could not afford it.

If I gave stuff to my mother, she would give it away to my sisters most likely. Nothing foul intended, she just would like to Help people out she cares about, & being unable to simply buy stuff for family.. she will give what she can, when she can.



In short, don't give stuff away you are still attached to. If it has value to you, let it be known to that person it is meant to be kept by them.
 
Winter Woman

Winter Woman

Well-Known Member
You need better communication between you and your wife. IMHO you need to sit down and have a heart to heart. I'd tell her that when you bring home bounty for the home front and you give her coins or whatever it is for her collection not to be given away.

About giving things away YOU need to tell them that you get first dibs if they are giving it away. Otherwise you have no say and no recourse.

My dad died a long time ago. I was given his coin collection. Just the other day getting ready to move I found some old coins. One coin alone is worth $1,200. She could have given away a lot of $$$.
 
RawBudzski

RawBudzski

Well-Known Member
Winter Woman said:
You need better communication between you and your wife. IMHO you need to sit down and have a heart to heart. I'd tell her that when you bring home bounty for the home front and you give her coins or whatever it is for her collection not to be given away.

About giving things away YOU need to tell them that you get first dibs if they are giving it away. Otherwise you have no say and no recourse.

My dad died a long time ago. I was given his coin collection. Just the other day getting ready to move I found some old coins. One coin alone is worth $1,200. She could have given away a lot of $$$.
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Can I barrow some coins? that little piece of metal you found can be my new mini-split I desperately need.. :)
 
dank smoker420

dank smoker420

Well-Known Member
i let a buddy borrow a grinder for some time. knew i had to get that back soon or else i probably wouldnt see it again. so i took it back and he bought his own grinder haha you should make them do that or buy you new coins and tv
 
ssj4jonathan

ssj4jonathan

Well-Known Member
blazinkill504 said:
can you explain what kinda drama is specifically hoaned into trailer parks? lol god some peoples kids these days...smh if you gave it to yo wife an she gave it up there isnt really much you can do besides take it back if you can or jusvt bitch at her for it. the tv thing is a toss up esbp if you cant exactly recall if she could have it. she could have thought you said take it cause you dont use it and it sittin in the vehicle only in her head made it seem you really didnt want it back so she gave it up. either way man that sucks, but atleast its all family so if you really need it im sure they'd return it. you done jacked the coins back tho hahaha has he noticed yet?
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OK... The coin story seem normal enough, some people value some stuff more than others. The indian giver's wife obviously knows her brother likes coins more than her. So why not give said coins a happy home in a valued and adored collection. Plus, we all know girls like diamonds and gold jewerly over second hand grimy coins anyways. BUT when I started reading about handing down an old tv set, i was seized by flashes of images. I pictured the wifes sister, with the help of her mother, taking this large clunky tv set out of one trailer and lugging it down the road to the mothers trailer. Ergo trailer park drama, OP correct me if im wrong here.... Either way i got a good laugh out of this story.
 
C

CatatonicShock

Member
The term "Indian Giver" is terrible. The coins I can see you being upset over because they kind of have a sentimental gift hint to them. Plus the person receiving the gift was your s.o. But the TV, you gave it to her. You shouldn't care what she does with it after. And if you think you're going to care what someone does with something after you give it to them, you shouldn't give it to them.
 
curious2garden

curious2garden

Well-Known Mod
Staff member
....... and did you clear the lending/gifting of the TV with your wife prior to lending/gifting it? Got to communicate in a marriage and eventually you iron all these sorts of things out and then you don't have to talk to the other person at all. LOL, they just know you like your Burger with cheese and raw onion. BTW you may want to consider not lending things only gifting. Then you don't get upset when the other person fails to remember it wasn't a gift. That's the whole thing behind neither a borrower nor a lender be quote.
 
SkyeHighChickie

SkyeHighChickie

Member
When you lend people anything, unless you have explicitly stated "this is to be returned to me immediately upon completion of it satisfying your needs" (lol whatever u know what I mean) you can only be pleasantly surprised when lent item is returned to you. Kinda like money to family & friends, unless you want bitterness, the money is a gift & if it's returned to you, then fantfreakingtastic! The coins, tho...I agree with WinterWoman, you need to have a chat with the Mrs. & make some stuff clear to her & perhaps she can clarify things to you & then all will be well. I wonder tho if that youngster stole that walking libery coin from gramma or grampa's jar of pocket "change"? Not that it matters. But try not to be too upset about it overall, once something leaves your hands by you placing it in another's hands, it's gone. Although I too have experienced the perceived lack of consideration to be sure to return borrowed items in a timely manner or passing them on to someone else without your prior consent...when most are gently confronted it has always been just a simple misunderstanding.
 
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