This married man goes to the confessional and says to his priest, "I had an
affair with a woman...almost." The priest says, "What do you mean,
almost?" The man says, "Well, we undressed and rubbed together, but then I
stopped." The priest says, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in.
You're not to see that woman again.
Now say 5 Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box." The man leaves the
confessional, goes over and says his prayers, then walks over to the poor
box. He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave. The priest, who was
watching him, quickly runs over to him and says, "I saw that you didn't put
any money in the poor box!" The man replies, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on
the box, and apparently that's the same as putting it in.