Pix That Make You LOL-Warning-SNWS

ganja girl

ganja girl

New Member
Riley's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him. Riley asked,"Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ? "
 
ganja girl

ganja girl

New Member
Little Riley attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Riley asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Riley, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ....'
 
ganja girl

ganja girl

New Member
And...

There I was is sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large,
trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into
tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to
see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was
late to a meeting and my boss fired me.

When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't
have any insurance.

I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my old lady in bed with
the gardener, and then my dog bit me."

"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I
buy a drink,

I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve. Then you,
you jack-ass, show up and drink the whole thing!"

"But enough about me, how's your day going?"
 
ganja girl

ganja girl

New Member
If you can see these I'll repost the one I deleted of the Bridge-it is one of this best.

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[FONT=Tahoma, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]You know, I used to think that if I got caught out on the road when a tornado hit that I'd just crawl into the nearest culvert. A Texas Power & Light crew, putting in lines for an addition to the Hallettsville Airport, found the following in a culvert they were using.

See the two (2) pictures below:





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ganja girl

ganja girl

New Member
Dog Sitting
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An elderly spinster who was a dog lover agreed to look after and house her neighbours dog whilst the neighbours went on their holidays. The only problem was that the spinsters own dog was a bitch that was in 'heat' and the neighbours dog was a male. Nevertheless she had a large house and she was able to keep the two dogs apart. As she lay in her bed drifting off to sleep the spinster
was suddenly awakened by awful howling and moaning sounds from downstairs. She rushed downstairs to find the dogs locked together, as dogs do when mating. The dogs were in obvious pain howling but unable to disengage. Try as she might she could not
part them and she was perplexed as what to do next.

Though it was late she reluctantly phoned the vet and after a few rings a rather grumpy voice of the vet answered the phone. The spinster explained the problem.

The vet said, "I want you to take the phone to the dogs and place it down alongside them. I will then phone your number back and the noise of the telephone ringing should make the male dog lose his erection and be able to withdraw from the bitch."

"Oh," said the spinster, "Do you think that will work?"

"Well," the vet replied, "IT JUST WORKED ON ME !!!!"
 
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