Pix That Make You LOL-Warning-SNWS

An Inspirational Story

Recently I was asked to play in a golf tournament.

At first I said, 'Naaahhh!'

Then they said to me 'Come on, it's for handicapped and blind Kids.'

Then I thought...

Fuck - I could win this...

Confucious say, man that go to bed with itchy ringpiece, wake up with shitty finger!

did you hear about the man who raped a deaf and dumb girl

he snapped all her fingers so she couldnt tell her mother

sick or what also very funny

Not so much funny...

You know what's back and blue and hates sex? The girl scout I got ducked taped in my trunk.You know what the difference is between a 57 Chevy and 100 dead hookers?I ain't got a 57 Chevy in my garage

i dunno that note to the son in iraq i thought was pretty funny and all the good ol jokes are comming out lets c if i can dig something up
ok not gunna lie i googled cuz im to lazy to type so heres a few for ya!
10 Things Not To Tell Your Girlfriend

10. Come on, who's gonna find out?
9. I promise you wont choke.
8. Can I get you in the pooper?
7. Trust me, I'm a professional.
6. Well, your sister likes it like that.
5. Wow look at the ass on her!
4. Now why cant your boobs be that big?
3. I gotta poop.
2. Oh you forgot to shave today too?
1. I think the condom broke 10 minutes ago.
These two hunters went moose hunting every year without success.

Finally they came up with a foolproof plan. (emphasis on fool)

They got themselves a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose.

The plan was to hide in the costume, lure in the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull.

So, they set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, in their costume, and began to give the moose love call.

Before too long their call was answered by bull in the forest.

They called again, the bull answered closer to them.

They called again, the bull answered, and came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing.

As the bulls' pounding hoof beats got closer the guy in front said, "OK, let's get out and get him"!

After a moment, that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouts - "THE ZIPPER IS STUCK, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?!"

The front guy says, "Well, I'm gonna start nibbling grass, but you better start to brace yourself!"

Tommy went up to a little girl named Bubblez
he asked "wanna be my friend?"
she replied "Bubblez don't wanna, Bubblez don't wanna"
he said "I’ll give you candy"
she said "ok"
later on Tommy went up to Bubblez again
"wanna come yo my house and study?"
"Bubblez don't wanna, Bubblez don't wanna"
"I’ll give you candy"
"ok"
when they went to his place he asked
"do you want to go to my room?"
"Bubblez don't wanna, Bubblez don't wanna"
"I’ll give you candy"
"ok"
when their in his room he asks
"wanna take off your clothes and hope in bed with me?"
"Bubblez don't wanna, Bubblez don't wanna"
"I’ll give you candy"
"ok"
later on Tommy hears someone coming up the stairs
"Bubblez get off of me my moms coming"
"Bubblez don't wanna, Bubblez don't wanna"
"oh man, I have no more candy"
THE END


took a long time to find them and there just not that good i wonder where winterwoman gets all hers from? lolol

LOL, you better start bracing yourself

A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk in to a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "what the fuck is this a joke?

Ok, ok I'll put something here.

Winter Woman said:

View attachment 1704523
Ok, ok I'll put something here.

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Ain't that the truth! Shit trickle down economics.

gopherbuddah said:

http://www.demotivatingposters.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/demotivating-posters-demotivational-posters-funny-posters-posters-women-sharted.jpg

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fyp

hell yeah!

Fat Ass Balloon

Winter Woman said:

View attachment 1705358
Fat Ass Balloon

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That is so epic, I WANT it!

RyanTheRhino said:

looks photshoped

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Even if it is, it is still funny. I wonder if they get any crap from cities or towns for the way it looks when it passes over.
You know someone is going to say, "My child was traumatized from what he saw."

I couldn't imagine a hot air a balloon flying over my city. i am in one of the biggest military base citys in the world. it would get shot down in 30 seconds. Obviusly not shot down but there would be a armed helicopter hovering next to it trying to figure thier agenda.

Military aircraft fly by about ever hour. which is also why i cant grow outside

I see hot air balloons a lot. Sometimes I see some people on a parachute with motors strapped to their backs. I would love to have one of those powered chutes.

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome. One has a cross in front of him, the other one the Star of David. Many people go by, look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.
A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the cross, but none to the beggar behind the Star of David. Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says, "My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite.”



The beggar behind the Star of David listened to the priest, turned to the other beggar with the cross and said: "Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing."