Pix That Make You LOL-Warning-SNWS

Winter Woman

Winter Woman

Well-Known Member
A married couple had been out shopping at the mall for most of the
afternoon, suddenly, the wife realized that her husband had "disappeared".

The somewhat irate spouse called her mate ’ s cell phone and demanded: Where
the hell are you?

Husband: Darling you remember that Jewelry shop where you saw the Diamond
Necklace and totally fell in love with it and I didn't have money that time
and I said Baby it'll be yours one day.

Wife, with a smile blushing: Yes, I remember that my Love.

Husband: Well, I'm in the Bar next to that shop.
 
woodsmaneh!

woodsmaneh!

Well-Known Member
Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned-cupped herself to the floor.

She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!"

Bruce came running in.

"Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor," she said.

"S'truth," Sheila Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You're stuck fast girl. I'll go across the road and get me mate Cobber".

They came back and they both tried to pull her up.
"No way, we can't do it," Cobber said, "so let's try Plan B."

"Plan B," exclaimed Bruce, "what's that?"

"I'll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we'll break the tiles under her," replied Cobber.

"Spot on, "Bruce said, "while you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her nipples."

"Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "not exactly a good time for that mate!"

"No," Bruce replied, "but I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper!!
 
woodsmaneh!

woodsmaneh!

Well-Known Member
Three Irishmen are sitting in the pub window seat, watching the front door of the brothel over the road. The local Methodist pastor appears, and quickly goes inside.

"Would you look at that!" says the first Irishman.
"Didn't I always say what a bunch of hypocrites they are!"

No sooner are the words out of his mouth than a Rabbi appears at the door, knocks, and goes inside.

"Another one trying to fool everyone with pious preaching and stupid hats!"

They continue drinking their beer roundly condemning the vicar and the rabbi when they see their own Catholic priest knock on the door.

"Ah, now that's sad," says the third Irishman, "one of the girls must have died."
 
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