Pix That Make You LOL-Warning-SNWS

PixiDustr

Active Member
A dying guy calls his doctor, priest, and lawyer to a meeting to discuss his last wishes. He gave each one of them $100,000 and asked that each put it in his casket when he dies so he could 'take' it with him. They guy dies and during the wake the doctor, priest, and lawyer put the money in the casket with the guy. They all go to the cemetery and watch the guy get interred. As they are walking back to the cars the priest says, "I have a confession. I didn't put all the money in the casket. I kept out some for the orphans and widows." The doctor says, "I must confess that I too took some of the money and gave it to research for cancer." Well, the lawyer says, "I can't believe this guy's doctor and priest would go against his last wishes! I put the entire $100,000 in the casket!...I wrote a check!"
 

curious old fart

Well-Known Member
Three surgeons were discussing who was the easiest to operate on.
The first surgeon said engineers were the easiest because everything was laid out in a neat order.
The second surgeon stated that accountants were the easiest because everything was numbered.
The third surgeon said that politicians were the easiest because besides having no guts, their heads and asses were interchangable.

A fellow returned from a week-end retreat where they taught him "How to be a man", where the first thing he did was get in his wife's face and declare that he was the man of the house and from here on his word was law. When he got home at night he expected his wife to greet him at the door nicely dressed, the house spotless, with dinner on the table, the children's homework done and them well behaved......and he went on like this for fifteen minutes and when he got through he didn't see his wife for two weeks,....but then the swelling went down and his eyes began to open.

:peace:
cof
 

PetFlora

Well-Known Member
If you knew her story, she also had Crones disease for many years she used marijuana to cope with it, along with the cancer that came later. She put up a good fight, she fought long and hard, but the cancer finally won. It happened pretty quickly in the end, but she fought longer than the average person normally does. She used all the medical treatments along with marijuana, and I think that is how she remained active until the end.
Most unfortunately, people resort to mj first and neglect organic natural remedies. IBS/Chrones, in fact most any illness can be neutralized by ingesting sufficient soil-based probiotics to balance the overgrowth of anaerobic bacteria in the gut. The gut represents (makes up) 80% of out ENTIRE immune systems. If it's out of balance, so are we. Unfortunately, few understand the dynamic. Many die unnecessarily, mostly from lack of awareness

 

lokie

Well-Known Member
Japanese are funny that way man.
I lived in Tokyo for 6 months. It was a blast. Even got involved in some of the street festivals.
They conned me into helping a team of men carry around a float made of telephone poles. Damn that thing was heavy. But FUN!
 

tuffles

Well-Known Member
18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Play boy 6.9. Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually, I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiance 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSe-xPlus and Cleanhouse 2011.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off.

Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2012, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2012, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.

Any help you can give me would be greatly appreciated.
 
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