Pix That Make You LOL-Warning-SNWS

smok3h

smok3h

Well-Known Member
Made this for my fantasy football team. Not bad for 30 minutes in Microsoft Paint, eh? (for those who don't get the reference, that's Donald Driver, Green Bay Packers WR)




This is the image I used:

 
herbose

herbose

Well-Known Member
A priest was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the priest. "How about God, or religion, or life after death?" as he smiled smugly.

"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

The priest, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "So do you really feel qualified to discuss God, religion, or life after death, when you don't know shit?"

And then she went back to reading her book.


 
herbose

herbose

Well-Known Member
A man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as President Clinton appeared on the television. After a few sips, he looked up at the television and mumbled, "Now, there's the biggest horse's ass I've ever seen." A customer at the end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and decked him.

A few minutes later, as the man was finishing his beer, Hillary Clinton appeared on the television. "She's a horse's ass too," the man. This time, a customer at the other end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and knocked him off his stool. "dam_n it!" the man said, climbing back up to the bar. "This must be Clinton country!"

"Nope," the bartender replied. "Horse country!"
 
herbose

herbose

Well-Known Member
Mick's wife was furiously humping away with her husbands best
mate Peter when suddenly the phone rang. She hopped out of
bed and returned to the sweaty sheet after a brief conversation.
"Who was it? The back stabbing buddy asked.
"On, that was Mick." She replied calmly.
"Oh shit, I'd better be going then!: he said. "Did Mick say where
he was?"
"Relax - he's down at the pub, playing a few games of pool with you."
 
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