Problems @ Home

When I think about some of the shit I did when I was 14 it kind of makes me laugh... 14 was a weird age, your not a kid but your not an adult, you don't know where your going in life but at the same time it doesn't really matter...

I guess what I'm sayin is use this as a learning experience for your kid, but don't think too much of it. He's only 14 and he's got a long way to go, with a lot of stuff to learn..

Sr. Verde said:

When I think about some of the shit I did when I was 14 it kind of makes me laugh... 14 was a weird age, your not a kid but your not an adult, you don't know where your going in life but at the same time it doesn't really matter...

I guess what I'm sayin is use this as a learning experience for your kid, but don't think too much of it. He's only 14 and he's got a long way to go, with a lot of stuff to learn..

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thxs Sr.Verde,,,,,,,I know the stuff I did before his age,,,,,,and frankly I'm glad it took this long for him,,not that I condone it at all,,,,but your right,,,,it is a wierd age,,,,,hopefully he'll become a better age,,,,and a better person

so,,he is now charged with B and E and possession of stolen property,,,,,I spoke with the VP at school to make sure he's not around the 2 ppl in his school that he is not supposed to be around,or he'll get another charge,,,and had his privelidge of leaving school at lunch time revoked,,,,,the VP thinks he's a good kid,she is willing to help big time,,the cops have said he's a good kid,,and I think inside he is a good kid,,,,we have a fingerprint date,,and a first appearance court date,,,cop said it would look good if he got a job,,or did some volunteer work before his court date,,,,,were gonna work on that

I wish I could say that would fix the long term problem. I still think your son should go fess up and appologise, and maybe ask how he could make ammends.
He will learn so many important valuable lessons from that. As well as redeeming some of his honor.

ink the world said:

Great thread, hits home for me....I have 2 young boys, Ive always told my wife my biggest fear is them getting into the stupid situations that I did as a kid, and not having the good luck that I did to make it through pretty much unscathed.

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I dont have kids yet but when I do, me and you will be in the same boat. I just wanted to say from my experience and I am in no way saying right now. Forgive your son and forget the crime down the road. Dont keep bring it up to him. It will only drive a wedge between him and you.

What I mean is when this shits all done and hes hanging out with some good people dont keep bringing it up and reminding him. If he asks you to go hang out or spend the night at a friends house, dont be like you planning on robbing people that why you want to spend the night at your friends. Just call and talk to his friends parents if their parents are cool then cool if not tell him to find a new friend.

I hope that made sense ive had a really long day...

im still a youngin, i give you props. that's the best way to learn.

HoLE you might think what your doin is good for you kid in the long run fuk no youve got it wrong you just got your son a extra charge and a serios one and made him admit it now he will be on police record and the next time he douse some thing they will hit him harder and he WILL get into shit again beacuse hes a teen likely alot more trouble and this will just make it worse when he could of got away with it.

getting charged for this will not stop future crimes beacuse people only ever commit crimes when they think they will get away with it being young means he has bad judement and will likely think he can do more shit and no one will ever no.

and good luck gettin your son a job with a criminal record.

westhamm1132 said:

HoLE you might think what your doin is good for you kid in the long run fuk no youve got it wrong you just got your son a extra charge and a serios one and made him admit it now he will be on police record and the next time he douse some thing they will hit him harder and he WILL get into shit again beacuse hes a teen likely alot more trouble and this will just make it worse when he could of got away with it.

getting charged for this will not stop future crimes beacuse people only ever commit crimes when they think they will get away with it being young means he has bad judement and will likely think he can do more shit and no one will ever no.

and good luck gettin your son a job with a criminal record.

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you should read a bit more, or study some more law this boy is 14..... he will NOT have a criminal record after 18, as long as he doesnt commit any crimes after 18...

so you're saying that a "good father" woulda hid the new-found crime, and just waited for the cops???? fuck no!! he did what a good father would do, hung his head, tucked his tail, and drug that boy to the police to finish fessin up to his dumb decisions......

good kids from good parents can make dumb mistakes...... If a lesson is learned, it will stay a mistake, and not become a lifestyle, but that is mostly up to the parents....
This young man is growing up with alot of shit in his head if you read the whole thread, not suprising he got into a little bit of trouble.... but now dad is gonna be firm, yet loving and set him straight in life.....

Its all a part of parenting.... you got kids???

i can see this being a problem , as not being a parent myself i would like to express somethings, first though youre not a bad parent and this ISNT YOUR FAULT
you're children are growing up and their learning whats right and wrong ect ect. I would like to say lashing out and screaming at your children from my experience is going to make them worse

1. sit your child down calming explain how this is wrong ect,
2. always make sure to be involved iny our childs life meet his friends their parents ect so you can know weather or not otherparents are doing THEIR job as aparent.
sometimes when a teen meets other kids they dont have proper parents let them smoke at 14 ect buy them alcohol ect, this isnt proper parenting im sure you know
make sure to really see about who hes hanging out with their friends influence their lives a lot and what they do if you feel like your kid is ahnging around the wrong crowd then you should forbid them to hangout talk to the other parents tell them you dont want your child hanging out with their kids speak to the prinicpal too tell him or her hat your child should not be hanging around with these kids.

you need to be able to calmly talk to your kids so that they can come to you if they need to talk as a parental right you do have the right to snoop through they things if you feel your child is doing bad things like b and es stealing ect
i used to go and break into cars and steal shit all the time i know what this is about
get your kids involved in extracurricular activities if they like hockey put them in hockey if they like to horse back ride do that for them so they make meet other children doing thoes kinds of things instead of being thugs.
tell your child youre disappointed in his actions tell him about jail ect that it isnt a "cool" place to be , and if at all possible make sure he doesnt go to jail he'll learn more bad habbits
you need to watch your children closely
take his games away his computer time ,show him he cannot disrespect your name by doing this explain to him this is wrong !
i know its hard when teens are growing up they do a lot of stupid shit heck im sure you remember
watch his grades because once they start to slip you know hes doing something , make sure hes not skipping class either.
like i said its all about the friends when i was 12 i hung out with 15 year old girls who drank all the time needless to say if my mom meet their parents and realize her mom wa sa stripper and bought her alcohol and gave her pot then im sure my mom would have had something to say.
its all about their friends i cannot stress that enough
and no you did not fail as a parent your child is failing and you need to be able to talk calmly and get the situation under control i hope this helps

gogrow said:

you should read a bit more, or study some more law this boy is 14..... he will NOT have a criminal record after 18, as long as he doesnt commit any crimes after 18...

so you're saying that a "good father" woulda hid the new-found crime, and just waited for the cops???? fuck no!! he did what a good father would do, hung his head, tucked his tail, and drug that boy to the police to finish fessin up to his dumb decisions......

good kids from good parents can make dumb mistakes...... If a lesson is learned, it will stay a mistake, and not become a lifestyle, but that is mostly up to the parents....
This young man is growing up with alot of shit in his head if you read the whole thread, not suprising he got into a little bit of trouble.... but now dad is gonna be firm, yet loving and set him straight in life.....

Its all a part of parenting.... you got kids???

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well i no about law in the uk but he will very likely get into more trouble and get that record and after this experiance he will snitch on himself and not remain silent if he gets caught in the future. i read most of the thread tho and no he shouldnt let him get away with it just deal with it him self not throw police they just want convictions so it looks good on them the more they hit him with the better they look and he will have to pay back what he stole and compensation.

he should have took his kid to the house made him give the shit back and say sorry the embarrisment will keep him out of trouble for at least a while not hope that this experiance will stop his next crimes it wont as i said hes young and has bad judement.

and btw getting into trouble with police at that age makes him feel "big" and he will get a rep around school for it the charge will be a +rep for him in school and will just cause more probloms than it solves.

most people will disagree with me but ive got 1st hand experiance with this from my past once hes delt with the police a few time's he will no longer be intimidated by them and more likely to do more crime and no i dont have kids this is just my oppinion a better thing to do is to make him say sorry and take away all the stuff he likes for a month.

westhamm1132 said:

well i no about law in the uk but he will very likely get into more trouble and get that record and after this experiance he will snitch on himself and not remain silent if he gets caught in the future. i read most of the thread tho and no he shouldnt let him get away with it just deal with it him self not throw police they just want convictions so it looks good on them the more they hit him with the better they look and he will have to pay back what he stole and compensation.

he should have took his kid to the house made him give the shit back and say sorry the embarrisment will keep him out of trouble for at least a while not hope that this experiance will stop his next crimes it wont as i said hes young and has bad judement.

and btw getting into trouble with police at that age makes him feel "big" and he will get a rep around school for it the charge will be a +rep for him in school and will just cause more probloms than it solves.

most people will disagree with me but ive got 1st hand experiance with this from my past once hes delt with the police a few time's he will no longer be intimidated by them and more likely to do more crime and no i dont have kids this is just my oppinion a better thing to do is to make him say sorry and take away all the stuff he likes for a month.

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I've been this kid too..... but come back when you're a parent, see how your opinion may change

gogrow said:

I've been this kid too..... but come back when you're a parent, see how your opinion may change

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well to be fair i dont know shit about parenting so ill just stfu now lol that was just my opinon tho.

ANC said:

I wish I could say that would fix the long term problem. I still think your son should go fess up and appologise, and maybe ask how he could make ammends.
He will learn so many important valuable lessons from that. As well as redeeming some of his honor.

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he has already fessed up,,,,and we have a date for fingerprints,,,and a first court date,,going to the house could only create more hassle,,these days victims are usually not too forgiving,,,,they have been violated,,he has been charged already,,,it's done,,,,and he's gonna pay his dues,,,and his honor will be restored when I see he deserves his honor again

Malenki said:

I dont have kids yet but when I do, me and you will be in the same boat. I just wanted to say from my experience and I am in no way saying right now. Forgive your son and forget the crime down the road. Dont keep bring it up to him. It will only drive a wedge between him and you.

What I mean is when this shits all done and hes hanging out with some good people dont keep bringing it up and reminding him. If he asks you to go hang out or spend the night at a friends house, dont be like you planning on robbing people that why you want to spend the night at your friends. Just call and talk to his friends parents if their parents are cool then cool if not tell him to find a new friend.

I hope that made sense ive had a really long day...

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I can't help forgive him,,it's his first really big mistake,,,,and I love him,,and I would not rub it in his face 24/7 ,,,,,I know what it's like to have a label,,,,thxs Malenki

9oh4 said:

im still a youngin, i give you props. that's the best way to learn.

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thxs 9oh4,,,,,,it was hard

westhamm1132 said:

HoLE you might think what your doin is good for you kid in the long run fuk no youve got it wrong you just got your son a extra charge and a serios one and made him admit it now he will be on police record and the next time he douse some thing they will hit him harder and he WILL get into shit again beacuse hes a teen likely alot more trouble and this will just make it worse when he could of got away with it.

getting charged for this will not stop future crimes beacuse people only ever commit crimes when they think they will get away with it being young means he has bad judement and will likely think he can do more shit and no one will ever no.

and good luck gettin your son a job with a criminal record.

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his VP I spoke with said he is a good kid,,,the arresting ooficer said he's a good kid,,,,I know he's a good kid,,,,he's been through some shit,,and had a little tooooo much freedom,,,,as far as him having an extra charge,,,,if I can go though it as much as it hurts,,,then he's gonna go through it,,,after all,,he did do it,,,,and to protect him,,,,would make him think,,my dad will help me whenever this happens

gogrow said:

you should read a bit more, or study some more law this boy is 14..... he will NOT have a criminal record after 18, as long as he doesnt commit any crimes after 18...

so you're saying that a "good father" woulda hid the new-found crime, and just waited for the cops???? fuck no!! he did what a good father would do, hung his head, tucked his tail, and drug that boy to the police to finish fessin up to his dumb decisions......

good kids from good parents can make dumb mistakes...... If a lesson is learned, it will stay a mistake, and not become a lifestyle, but that is mostly up to the parents....
This young man is growing up with alot of shit in his head if you read the whole thread, not suprising he got into a little bit of trouble.... but now dad is gonna be firm, yet loving and set him straight in life.....

Its all a part of parenting.... you got kids???

Click to expand...

thxs gogrow,,,,,,

westhamm1132 said:

well i no about law in the uk but he will very likely get into more trouble and get that record and after this experiance he will snitch on himself and not remain silent if he gets caught in the future. i read most of the thread tho and no he shouldnt let him get away with it just deal with it him self not throw police they just want convictions so it looks good on them the more they hit him with the better they look and he will have to pay back what he stole and compensation.

he should have took his kid to the house made him give the shit back and say sorry the embarrisment will keep him out of trouble for at least a while not hope that this experiance will stop his next crimes it wont as i said hes young and has bad judement.

and btw getting into trouble with police at that age makes him feel "big" and he will get a rep around school for it the charge will be a +rep for him in school and will just cause more probloms than it solves.

most people will disagree with me but ive got 1st hand experiance with this from my past once hes delt with the police a few time's he will no longer be intimidated by them and more likely to do more crime and no i dont have kids this is just my oppinion a better thing to do is to make him say sorry and take away all the stuff he likes for a month.

Click to expand...

he should have took his kid to the house made him give the shit back and say sorry the embarrisment will keep him out of trouble for at least a while not hope that this experiance will stop his next crimes it wont as i said hes young and has bad judement,,,,,,,,we live in Canada,,,not the UK,,,,,going and apologising to the guy down the road went out 20 years ago,,,,right about when you could victims compensation for all the stress you have been through

and btw getting into trouble with police at that age makes him feel "big" and he will get a rep around school for it the charge will be a +rep for him in school and will just cause more probloms than it solves,,,,,,there is noone to feel big too right now,,,he know's he fu#cked up,,he is under my house arrest right now and until this matter is solved,,he has no laptop no board and no bike,,his VP at school is caring and is making sure he has no contact with the co-accused,,,and spends his lunch with him at my request,,so he is not leaving school property at break,,,he is home 20 minutes after last class which is how long it takes to get home from there and I can tell you,,right now he feels about this big,,,he also loves me and knows he let me down

Don't be so hard on yourself man. Though I didn't do B&Es as a kid, I was into enough trouble that I could have been sent up for years if I had been caught. I come from a good and upstanding family and got everything I could possibly want, but then fell in with a bad crowd. Started dealing pot at age 13 and didn't stop until I finally got caught at 27. I am now 47,raised two of my three girls on my own, have owned a successful business, donated my time by being a handicapped ski instructor, own a nice home, and am respected by family, church, and community.My turn around was facilitated mostly by my parents never giving up on me. Though they never stepped in to try and reduce any of the consequences of my actions ( I did 45 days in county and 2 years intense supervised probation ) they came every visiting day to visit and made sure I never doubted their love for me, while making sure I knew that I had disappointed them. It is easier to turn your back on a bad crowd and turn your life around when you know that those who matter the most ( because they have and will always be there ) will support and help you make real life changes. Your not a bad dad, there are no bad kids, but sometimes people try the wrong path for awhile especially when they are young.

I had some damn good parents. I chose to be an absolute shit. I'll probably never know how much worry and hurt I caused them.

Sometimes it just comes down to kids are gonna be kids which means they're gonna be assholes. I recently became a grampa, so I have some perspective here.