Problems with wife / significant other

Hello,

So this is my first posting on the board but I have been reading a bunch over the last couple of weeks to do some research. Anyways, I had been a regular smoker many many years ago and got out of it for a while. When I met my now wife I wasn't smoking at the time. Over the past few months I've grown another appreciation for bud and smoke on a regular basis. This morning she freaked out and yelled at me, etc. We had lunch as we work near each other and another argument. She at one point asked me if I would choose her or pot. I was able to slide around from specifically answering the argument.

Anyways, I am curious if anyone else has had troubles with their spouse / significant other and if anyone has some suggestions. She doesn't want me to stop outright, but wants me to reduce it to once or twice a week.

Since I've started smoking regularly, I have been more productive at work, I clean much more around the house, etc. There is nothing she can point to other than she doesn't like the smell (I offered to not smoke around her) and she doesn't like potheads. Thoughts?

My neighbors wife was like that too at once. He gets moody if he doesn't have his weed. Go ahead and cut back like she wants, on the condition that you can smoke when you want on the weekends. During the week, let her see how grumpy and or moody you get when you don't get to smoke. She'll eventually come around and appreciate you more when you do.

Another thing you can try is tell her it alleviates tension or anxiety. Point out that millions of Americans use it daily for all sorts of medical needs. She needs to quit associating weed with pot heads or druggies. Maybe try to get her to try it? In the mean time, don't smoke it in the house or in front of her. Make an effort to show her some respect and maybe she'll give you some in return.

Thanks Serapis. That's actually a pretty good suggestion. She is a major alcoholic (probably an average of 3-5 beers every weeknight with much more drinking on the weekends) and I was starting to become one as well. Part of the reason I like weed is cuz I drink less. She must have been indoctrinated to much as a child about the horrors of weed. She has smoked it before, probably about 10 or 15 times in the last two years with me. She doesn't like the burning throat so I've also been thinking about getting a vape.

I wonder if I can suggest I quick smoking weed during the week and she quits beer/alcohol. I wonder if she would be able to do that. Probably not.

Anyone else have any thoughts?

seriously? Its a fucking marriage..get her to smoke ::

ask her to choose alcohol or you.

Fuck it then. Tell her her use of alcohol is troubling you, as it has long term health side effects, like it's ability to shut down kidneys or the liver, and the fact that it truly is addicting. Point out that you drink a lot less if your burn. I have my alcohol use under control because I burn. I used to drink a 12 pack a night easily. If I burn, I drink maybe 3-4 beers. Which one do you think is healthier? Make that suggestion to her. You both quit your habit during the week.

When she retorts that she needs to unwind and alcohol helps her, point out the irony and tell her that is exactly what pot does for you. Maybe get a bubbler or a small water pipe to sooth the smoke and let her try that. A vape maybe way to go, but fair warning, you are going to go through a lot more pot if you turn her into a smoker.

i think u got to be you and be happy doing the shit you want to do you are an adult and married you two have to make it work but its not just what she want u have to come to a medium but she shouldnt over react like u r her child, women seem to try and be so over powering and demanding sorry but this world was built for man and woman as his partner made of adams ribb slip her a bud brownie go smoke and dont sweat it talk about it when shes done with the brownie

that's tough. if it were me i wouldn't stop, i would clearly tell her that i'm not a lazy pothead, i'm productive in the real world and at home, even when i'm high, and that marijuana helps me, i don't just like it.

you should also bring up that it really isn't fair to you, especially if she can indulge in alcohol every night, which in reality is very unhealthy for her (i'm sure as you know).
maybe you could cut the amount of times you smoke a day, if that would make her feel better.

jesus of Cannabis said:

seriously? Its a fucking marriage..get her to smoke ::

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just like he said its either u work together liking each other for whom they are or u will be the child to your new legal mom

Hey dog been married almost 19 yrs you will hear this for years.Bitches just don't want us happy.Smoke brings out our best start making some real good dinners.Think man I can cook good stoned.She will eat and be happy.Plus you gotta really lick that pussy good to shut them up.Good luck Oregon024

Shoot - I probably smoke about two or three times a day. She probably only knows about me smoking 5 or 7 times a week. That's exactly what I told her during lunch about me being productive not some lazy pothead. I think I'ma stick to my guns on this one. She owes me. We had agreed to purchase a great lakehouse for a great price a few months ago and I was thrilled as it was my dream house. It was bank-owned so we had to do a lot of negotiating and she just gave up and told me to throw in the towel which I did for her. Now she wants me to practically quit smoking! Not going to happen.

Glad most people overall agree - I suppose that's not a surprise on this forum but I figured if the responses were negative to me then maybe I would reconsider my position.

upthearsenal said:

that's tough. if it were me i wouldn't stop, i would clearly tell her that i'm not a lazy pothead, i'm productive in the real world and at home, even when i'm high, and that marijuana helps me, i don't just like it.

you should also bring up that it really isn't fair to you, especially if she can indulge in alcohol every night, which in reality is very unhealthy for her (i'm sure as you know).
maybe you could cut the amount of times you smoke a day, if that would make her feel better.

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Honestly I can understand your dilemma. Somewhat. My girlfriend of 9 years doesn't smoke at all, but she is cool with my smoking constantly. I do worry that someday she may get tired of it though for some reason? When we started dating we both smoked constantly, then both quit for a while, now I'm back to blazing all day and she doesn't ever. Really though, unless you need it medically, stopping or cutting back isn't hard if you desire to. Anyway, I'd be honest with her about how much you actually smoke and why you smoke it. I'd quit or cut back on smoking weed if it was somehow impinging on my relationship, and it seems like you would to.

Update: I won. Will explain details tomorrow when I'm not on my phone.

So I won the fight! I think that's probably the first 'big fight' that I've won. I feel good. Well, its a partial win anyways. She went to happy hour after work with some girlfriends and upon arriving home I suggested a compromise - she doesn't drink on weeknights, and I don't smoke on weeknights. She told me that she just decided that she doesn't care but shes not going to forget about this. So, I can smoke but apparently every time we have a fight which isn't often, she says she's going to bring this up so I guess I'll just have to wait and see how that ends up. Thanks for everyone's opinion and thoughts.

lol you didn't win at all - the case is just postponed until you have less ammo and she has more =)

Probably so. But I am still happy. Now, I'm out of bud as my supplier apparently got raided a few days ago. Need to find a new source. Damn it! Always troubles.

Oh, the best part - I still got sex last night. Don't know how that happened!

DOnt do it in front of her

ssmith270 said:

Probably so. But I am still happy. Now, I'm out of bud as my supplier apparently got raided a few days ago. Need to find a new source. Damn it! Always troubles.

Oh, the best part - I still got sex last night. Don't know how that happened!

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+rep for that hahaha

you have to start growing.

and that was perfect. i was bout to write: if she wants you to stop something that 'annoys' her, tell her to give up something that 'annoys' you, preferably something she really really enjoys hehe....

and whenever the whole thing comes back, cuz it will, IGNORE HER. as far as your concerned, you can smoke. FUCK IT. that's what you wanted, and you still have your girl.

whenever she comes back to argue about it, IGNORE HER. do it long enough and she'll stop bothering you. i know it's kind of a dark reference, but that's how ppl in bravo's Intervention get away with doing heroin n shit at their parents house......

got any pictures of her drunk and naked?