recovery

spleefed said:

Phree, man I was ecstatic when I was able to say I was 1 month clean. Each and every day is a triumph. For me it's been 3 years 8 months and 16 days. Yes I still count them and why I don't know but I do.

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yea dude when i was in treatment i was the youngest guy in there, i was 18 im only 19 now but anyhow, and i had a bunch of the older dudes in there fuckin tellin me shit like "oh you still got at least 3 more times in treatment before you get serious about quittin." and "you an addict? please your only a kid. how could you be addicted to anythin." and that shit pissed me off!!! here i was one of the few people in there that willingly checked themself into treatment only to be put down for my age. but in away that made me push harder than them to complete my stay. lol not really sure where i was goin with this but everyday i was in treatment i would keep tellin myself "its been x amount of days dude. you got this man you can do this." i even kept on the hospital band wit the date of my last usein day, i Od'd and freaked out on ecstacy two day in a row im really surprised they didnt commit me. i went 5 months of flippin from x and oxy or even doin both at the same time after bein hooked on just painkillers for a year before that and goin to treatment and only stayin clean for maybe 2 months

spleefed said:

Yeah, it's about time to get my bike out again and start polishing and finding new way to customize it. My bike had a wild paint job, lots of chrome, 4 piece Mustang seat, led lighting all through it, hyper charger and a stage 3 power commander fuel mapping system. When it's warm I won't be sitting in front of my computer nearly as often.

Warm weather is our bread and butter here so I'll be busy with work and putting way more hours in.

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DUDE!!! it sounds beautiful man!!! got any pics??? you mind me askin wat ya do for a living?

i have a drinking problem, as in, i get drunk, do something i regret and end up in a police station, the first thing i used to do was drink evry mornin, now i have a spliff, it works, it healed me, i can now get up on time i can drive again, i can be human, only ever tried heroin once but i know how u feel, i wanted it soooo badly the day after, tried coke many times, dont rememba as i drank alcohol with it, fuck meth, just fuck meth wudnt even bother tryin it, just smoke weed, get a job or sell drugs, get a girlfriend, workd for me, i woz 17 when i had my problem, i almost died many times, almost lost my education, its hard i know, i still drink evry now and then but i blaze evry single day, just smoke weed, it will keep you safe.

phree23 said:

DUDE!!! it sounds beautiful man!!! got any pics??? you mind me askin wat ya do for a living?

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It's a gorgeous bike. So beautiful and unique that if I posted a picture on here then anyone from my part of the state would know who I am. I go to a lot of rallys and grant many requests to take pictures and inspect it closer. It's VTX 1800r but there are no longer any badges that mark it as a Honda. Most think right off that it must be a Harley.

What do I do for a living? I sort of said this in the " How many of you are at work" thread. I'm the General Manager of a large service company(not plumbers) It's my job to bid jobs, oversee installation and service deptmartments, our advertising, salesmen, provide tech support for the men in the field, yada, yada, yada.

What do you do?

ukgrower2110 said:

i have a drinking problem, as in, i get drunk, do something i regret and end up in a police station, the first thing i used to do was drink evry mornin, now i have a spliff, it works, it healed me, i can now get up on time i can drive again, i can be human, only ever tried heroin once but i know how u feel, i wanted it soooo badly the day after, tried coke many times, dont rememba as i drank alcohol with it, fuck meth, just fuck meth wudnt even bother tryin it, just smoke weed, get a job or sell drugs, get a girlfriend, workd for me, i woz 17 when i had my problem, i almost died many times, almost lost my education, its hard i know, i still drink evry now and then but i blaze evry single day, just smoke weed, it will keep you safe.

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yea man FUCK METH!!! closest ive ever gotten to doin meth was X cut with meth but i would never do straight up meth. i saw wat that did/is doin to my aunt and that shit scares me. i kno i would have a drinkin problem too so i try not to drink much but the few times i did loss control with drink its fucked me up. i hate the feelin of wakin up in the mornin and not knowin wat i did the night before only to find out i almost killed people. not a good feelin at all. its a miracle nothin ever happened on those nights and i thanks god everyday for watchin out and stoppin things from ever happenin. green is the only thing i do now wit a beer every once and awhile

spleefed said:

It's a gorgeous bike. So beautiful and unique that if I posted a picture on here then anyone from my part of the state would know who I am. I go to a lot of rallys and grant many requests to take pictures and inspect it closer. It's VTX 1800r but there are no longer any badges that mark it as a Honda. Most think right off that it must be a Harley.

What do I do for a living? I sort of said this in the " How many of you are at work" thread. I'm the General Manager of a large service company(not plumbers) It's my job to bid jobs, oversee installation and service deptmartments, our advertising, salesmen, provide tech support for the men in the field, yada, yada, yada.

What do you do?

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lol i gottcha man!! gotta keep that idenity safe !! totally understand that!!! and thats wats up dude sounds like not to demandin of a job but also hard as fuck at the same time man!

My brother was super jacked on norcos for like 8 months.One time I was very hard on him so he started goin to the gym to work out.Now a year later hes super ripped and off the pills.Good luck to you man Iv never taken pills but I know how it is to kick blow on my own.It was super hard but I did it

phree23 said:

yea man FUCK METH!!! closest ive ever gotten to doin meth was X cut with meth but i would never do straight up meth. i saw wat that did/is doin to my aunt and that shit scares me. i kno i would have a drinkin problem too so i try not to drink much but the few times i did loss control with drink its fucked me up. i hate the feelin of wakin up in the mornin and not knowin wat i did the night before only to find out i almost killed people. not a good feelin at all. its a miracle nothin ever happened on those nights and i thanks god everyday for watchin out and stoppin things from ever happenin. green is the only thing i do now wit a beer every once and awhile !

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if you wonna avoid alcohol, stay away from a'dam, i went thier with my friends, i couldnt find a coffeeshop so i found like a bar type of place, thats all i rememba of the whole 4 days 3 nights i was thier, i woke up in my flat with the worst hangover ever, i had spent 5grand in that small amount of time and i went to belgium one night, i wish i knew why and what i did thier, they said i went to a coffeshop in the mornin and i got lost and i woke up in a weird place the next mornin and it gets fuzzy then blacks out, im sure weve all got stories like that

ukgrower2110 said:

if you wonna avoid alcohol, stay away from a'dam, i went thier with my friends, i couldnt find a coffeeshop so i found like a bar type of place, thats all i rememba of the whole 4 days 3 nights i was thier, i woke up in my flat with the worst hangover ever, i had spent 5grand in that small amount of time and i went to belgium one night, i wish i knew why and what i did thier, they said i went to a coffeshop in the mornin and i got lost and i woke up in a weird place the next mornin and it gets fuzzy then blacks out, im sure weve all got stories like that

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damn dude thats fucked up!!! i really dont have that bad of a problem as fars controlin how much i drink. i can have a couple beers or a couple drinks and just sip em for hours and not really want any more. its when i say fuck it ima get drunk when things start headin south. if i go to amsterdam id live in the fuckin coffeshops lol!!!

phree23 said:

lol i gottcha man!! gotta keep that idenity safe !! totally understand that!!! and thats wats up dude sounds like not to demandin of a job but also hard as fuck at the same time man!

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Physically no it's not demanding. Mentally.. fuck yes. Some days the stress levels are unbelievalbe. I've got about 20 people that depend on me doing my job so they can support their families. Today so far has been kind of a slow one and that's just as well cause I'm just not feeling it today. So I'm doing this instead of really focusing on work. Sort of on auto pilot. Some days that are really nice out I tell the office gals on my way out the door that I've got to go look at a new job or meet with a client and just take a drive out thru the country side and once in a while (okay most of the time) I'll have my one hitter with me.

phree23 said:

hey wats up all my brothers and sisters out there!!! hey i have a question for anyone out there that is in recovery from controlled substances: what do you do when you are havein some trouble wit the temptation of pickin the old habit back up? i been struggling this past week with goin back to painkillers which is like my drug of choice. now a lot of ppl have been tellin me to hit meetings but i dont really like meetings all that much. ive only got 7 months of recovery under my belt and i just kinda been tryin to muscle thru it but that doesnt seem to cut it for me anymore. lol now i kno this may be a weird question for this site seein as you kno we all smoke weed but like i said im talkin about painkillers so if you actually have some constructive info please help me out. peace and love---phree

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Smoke a fat ass joint, and enjoy the ride.

Pills are for losers...

Be STRONG !!

I just can't agree with the " Pills are for losers" tag. I'm not a loser and I don't think anyone recovering from pills should be considered losers. I mean, if they quit and stay clean I think I'd call them winners.

I just kicked a four year addiction with methadone on june 5th 2009, by the "ween" method. and I'm just now starting to feel "normal" but what i've learned is that now I have to deal with bad days just like everyone else (instead of taking and or snorting a pill)...it truley is a day to day struggle...just hang in there bro!!!if you don't mind me askin what were you taking?

spleefed said:

I just can't agree with the " Pills are for losers" tag. I'm not a loser and I don't think anyone recovering from pills should be considered losers. I mean, if they quit and stay clean I think I'd call them winners.

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Nevermind... You didnt get what I was saying..

CLOSETGROWTH said:

Nevermind... You didnt get what I was saying..

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No, I undestand what you were saying. Back in the 80's the "Just say no" thing was real big and a poplular tag was " Drugs are for losers". That meant pot too.

I think you were saying and encouraging at the same time to be better than the pills. He, I, and others are off pills and don't want to go back and to do so is losing the battle.

It's just that the simple saying of " Pills are for losers" to me is saying that I'm a loser for having done so.

spleefed said:

No, I undestand what you were saying. Back in the 80's the "Just say no" thing was real big and a poplular tag was " Drugs are for losers". That meant pot too.

I think you were saying and encouraging at the same time to be better than the pills. He, I, and others are off pills and don't want to go back and to do so is losing the battle.

It's just that the simple saying of " Pills are for losers" to me is saying that I'm a loser for having done so.

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why did u choose to take pills in the first place?

ukgrower2110 said:

why did u choose to take pills in the first place?

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In the early days if my wife or I went to the doctor and pills were prescribed we would rarely take them. Years go by and the cupboard gets full of painkillers. I bet we accumulated 3 to 4 hundred. A lot I know. My had a few surgeries, I was always getting hurt one way or another, but in any case they accumulated.

I messed my foot pretty bad and was at a point with my job that I just couldn't take off work to prop it up and being upright hurt like hell. The script I had for this was 10/500 hydrocodon and I think he gave 60 of them. I'm 6'5" 250 pounds and being niave I thought it would be like asprin so I took 2 of them. Wow! I got really high and thought this is way better than weed. No reeking, no red eye, no one knows.

Months go by and I revisit that painkiller high and then I start to do it every 3 or 4 days. Now I've done coke and meth a few time and never had the desire or drive to find more when it was gone so I stupidly thought I wouldn't get hooked.

Eventually I was into them every day and then two to three times a day and eventually I reached a point one day when I didn't take them I felt so crappy and lathargic that I knew then that "oops I may be in trouble". Dumbass me instead of stopping right then I found ways to get more and more.


Don't be fooled into thinking your immune or that it can't happen to you. Since you like to smoke weed and get high your only one serious surgery away from it your self. Not saying that everyone that has surgery gets hooked but if they are available and you have to take them for an extended amount of time then it can happen. I know people that for whatever reason their affliction requires daily painkillers and they have been on them for years and only taking the dose prescribed (drs. increase that dose as time goes by) they freely admit that by now that they are addicted.

Addiction is not something anyone puprosely sets out to do. To think so is just ignorant.

spleefed said:

In the early days if my wife or I went to the doctor and pills were prescribed we would rarely take them. Years go by and the cupboard gets full of painkillers. I bet we accumulated 3 to 4 hundred. A lot I know. My had a few surgeries, I was always getting hurt one way or another, but in any case they accumulated.

I messed my foot pretty bad and was at a point with my job that I just couldn't take off work to prop it up and being upright hurt like hell. The script I had for this was 10/500 hydrocodon and I think he gave 60 of them. I'm 6'5" 250 pounds and being niave I thought it would be like asprin so I took 2 of them. Wow! I got really high and thought this is way better than weed. No reeking, no red eye, no one knows.

Months go by and I revisit that painkiller high and then I start to do it every 3 or 4 days. Now I've done coke and meth a few time and never had the desire or drive to find more when it was gone so I stupidly thought I wouldn't get hooked.

Eventually I was into them every day and then two to three times a day and eventually I reached a point one day when I didn't take them I felt so crappy and lathargic that I knew then that "oops I may be in trouble". Dumbass me instead of stopping right then I found ways to get more and more.


Don't be fooled into thinking your immune or that it can't happen to you. Since you like to smoke weed and get high your only one serious surgery away from it your self. Not saying that everyone that has surgery gets hooked but if they are available and you have to take them for an extended amount of time then it can happen. I know people that for whatever reason their affliction requires daily painkillers and they have been on them for years and only taking the dose prescribed (drs. increase that dose as time goes by) they freely admit that by now that they are addicted.

Addiction is not something anyone puprosely sets out to do. To think so is just ignorant.

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i think i know about addiction, a quarter of my friends from school are addicts, i have problems at times with drugs i.e diamorphine(heroin), done it once, wanted it soo bad i was gonna kill the guy who gave it to me so i could get more, ive learnt that if i just stick with weed i will b fine, fuck painkillers ive had enough of them for one lifetime, i used to take codiene everynight with weed, have no idea how i got addicted, just happened, luckily enough i managed to drop it in a day, willpower + ganja

ukgrower2110 said:

i think i know about addiction, a quarter of my friends from school are addicts, i have problems at times with drugs i.e diamorphine(heroin), done it once, wanted it soo bad i was gonna kill the guy who gave it to me so i could get more, ive learnt that if i just stick with weed i will b fine, fuck painkillers ive had enough of them for one lifetime, i used to take codiene everynight with weed, have no idea how i got addicted, just happened, luckily enough i managed to drop it in a day, willpower + ganja

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Glad to hear you were able to get away from it so easily.

Mine went on for several years and I had a few set backs once I did quit. A 30 to 40 pill a day habit doesn't go away in one day.

spleefed said:

Glad to hear you were able to get away from it so easily.

Mine went on for several years and I had a few set backs once I did quit. A 30 to 40 pill a day habit doesn't go away in one day.

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yh but that 1 little hit felt soooooooo good, 1a my roomates is movin that shit, weve know each other for years, he made me come out one night with him so i could see his fiends, becuase of what i saw that night i will never ever touch that shit again, cant imagine the hell u must have gone through, just stay with the