Share your stories from when you were in jail.

I'll go first. When I was in jail they would feed us the same things over and over.
I always heard jail food was bad, but I thought it was better than what I eat on the regular.
The thing that is bad about jail food is eating the same things over and over.
Every tuesday they would feed us beans and corn dogs.
This one tuesday after lunch the CO's offered me a shower.
I said okay and then they took me to the shower room.
They locked me in the shower room and I got ready to take a shower.
Once I was in the shower I looked down at the shower drain and noticed
it was covered in bits of munched up hot dog. I don't know what end it came out of or who did it.
And this was before I got shower shoes, so I just put on my regular rubber jail shoes and
showered wearing those.

The year was 1997, it was a crime-ridden United States that has converted Manhattan Island in New York City into the country's maximum security prison. Air Force One was hijacked by terrorists and crashed into New York City, I was given 24 hours to rescue the President of the United States to secure my release. I did. And was released.

All jail threads require music

Back when I worked HVAC me and my boss had to work on the heater in the local jail. We had to do some work in the ceiling of the kitchen, I don't remember what.

That's my boring ass story from when I was in jail.

Blue Wizard said:

Back when I worked HVAC me and my boss had to work on the heater in the local jail. We had to do some work in the ceiling of the kitchen, I don't remember what.

That's my boring ass story from when I was in jail.

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Same here, other than working there once upon a time I have no other stories. Fascinating about the OP's assuming we've all been to jail. Wonder if that has anything to do with this being a pot forum ::gasp:: we are such gangsters.

I woke up in a cell after trying to run when I was black out drunk. I got a good night's sleep and egg Mcmuffins the next morning. I guess I was in good spirits and joking with them and kept them entertained, so they didnt charge me, just PC'd. I don't remember anything, last thing I really remember was walking down the street passing around a bottle of 151 with friends. They also apparently never searched me cause I still had everything in my pockets including my baggie and my pocket knife when I woke up.

Hypothetically, suppose, just suppose someone was in Federal Witness Protection. Wouldn't telling a jail story jeopardize that?
Asking for a friend

I never had to fight, or prove myself the whole time I was in jail.
I was recovering from congestive heart failure and they had me wearing a defibrillator that kept track of my heart rhythm.
It was mostly to prove if I needed a pace maker or not, but would also shock me back to life if my heart failed and I passed out.
Because of the defib I was housed in medical the whole time. Mostly surrounded by females in the other cells.
The CO's put a huge hand written warning on my cell door talking about the amount of shock the defib could give.
One of the CO's flat out refused to put chains on me when it was one of my days to go to court.
He was afraid of it and said he thought it was going to shock the shit out of him.
I made friends with a prostitute while I was housed in medical.
She would share books with me and offered to let me use her shampoo.

My time was bad... and good. I wrote a song about it. Would you like to hear it? Here it goes...



@3:47 - ♫ I have found some kind of temporary sanity
when there's shit, blood and cum on my hands. ♫

It's catchy, no?

'76, Mt. Carmel Ill. Best Chili ever, I must of been real hungry.

I’ve never been to jail because I’m an upstanding citizen

TwistItUp said:

I never had to fight, or prove myself the whole time I was in jail.

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What kind of jail were you in? Anytime I've been in jail it's nothing but fighting over bullshit or just letting people know you won't take any shit. I watched a grown man try to rip another dudes ear off over a turkey burger. I wish where I was there was hot dogs in my shower.. I'd see how many I can put in my mouth

srh88 said:

What kind of jail were you in? Anytime I've been in jail it's nothing but fighting over bullshit or just letting people know you won't take any shit. I watched a grown man try to rip another dudes ear off over a turkey burger. I wish where I was there was hot dogs in my shower.. I'd see how many I can put in my mouth

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County jail, I guess. Don't know what else to call it haha.

TwistItUp said:

County jail, I guess. Don't know what else to call it haha.

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Where I was is weird.. county jail that's called a prison because they house both state inmates and county people on the same blocks. It's super fucked

srh88 said:

What kind of jail were you in? Anytime I've been in jail it's nothing but fighting over bullshit or just letting people know you won't take any shit. I watched a grown man try to rip another dudes ear off over a turkey burger. I wish where I was there was hot dogs in my shower.. I'd see how many I can put in my mouth

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Bitch please! I’d smuggle whole briskets in my ass back in the day! I’m a regular old Andy Dufrense

More like Shawskank Redemption!

Gary Goodson said:

Bitch please! I’d smuggle whole briskets in my ass back in the day! I’m a regular old Andy Dufrense
View attachment 4194935
More like Shawskank Redemption!

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I thought Red was the go to guy for butt goodies.