Share your stories from when you were in jail.
- Thread starter TwistItUp
- Start date
Herb & Suds
Well-Known Member
I know right
I didn't even mention the 12 hours I spent in a Texas jail for an unpaid ticket
The ticket was failure to produce a fishing license LOL
But I'll always have band camp
lokie
Well-Known Member
Of the many hats I've worn one was a hard hat.
One site I worked was an extension to the county jail.
I must have left 1/8 oz of roaches laying up on the beams.
Working up on the scaffolds no one could see so we would lite up and blaze.
When winter came it got cold and as most job sites do we lit a 55 gal barrel and stoked it
with pallets and cardboard from around the site.
After about 1 hour the fire dept showed up and made us put it out.
The smoke from the fire was entering the fresh air intake. The jail was
being filled with smoke and noxious fumes.
It was still cold so a work around was agreed to. Instead of a few 55 gal
drums placed further apart we could use 5 gal buckets a little closer together.
Win Win. We got to try and stay warm and the jail got to breath fresh air again.
One site I worked was an extension to the county jail.
I must have left 1/8 oz of roaches laying up on the beams.
Working up on the scaffolds no one could see so we would lite up and blaze.
When winter came it got cold and as most job sites do we lit a 55 gal barrel and stoked it
with pallets and cardboard from around the site.
After about 1 hour the fire dept showed up and made us put it out.
The smoke from the fire was entering the fresh air intake. The jail was
being filled with smoke and noxious fumes.
It was still cold so a work around was agreed to. Instead of a few 55 gal
drums placed further apart we could use 5 gal buckets a little closer together.
Win Win. We got to try and stay warm and the jail got to breath fresh air again.
dangledo
Well-Known Member
I bet you flinch when you tough talk your mom's closet mirror
Banana444
Well-Known Member
Hoho burn ya really got me there
dangledo
Well-Known Member
Any other fictional short stories, mother goose?
Banana444
Well-Known Member
Just sharing my jail experiences for a laugh, at least im not here name calling to try and make me feel better about my pitiful life.
too larry
Well-Known Member
Never spent time in the brig when in the Navy, although I did have to sign a report chit on my birthday two years in a row. Once for weed, and once for wearing civilian clothes when I wasn't supposed to.
As far as jail, I spent one night on the inside. I got pulled over for drinking and driving. I was over the limit, but if I my old Pinto Bean had better tie rod ends, I never would have been stopped. Cop let me stuff a dime bag in the back seat of the patrol car. {an act of kindness that is still blessing me today}
It was very cold in jail. I just about froze all night. Breakfast wasn't too bad. Grits, eggs and a biscuit. When Daddy came to get me out, he said, "my daddy got me out of jail once, and that is what I'm going to do for you. Next time you are on your own." Luckily there has not been a next time.
As far as jail, I spent one night on the inside. I got pulled over for drinking and driving. I was over the limit, but if I my old Pinto Bean had better tie rod ends, I never would have been stopped. Cop let me stuff a dime bag in the back seat of the patrol car. {an act of kindness that is still blessing me today}
It was very cold in jail. I just about froze all night. Breakfast wasn't too bad. Grits, eggs and a biscuit. When Daddy came to get me out, he said, "my daddy got me out of jail once, and that is what I'm going to do for you. Next time you are on your own." Luckily there has not been a next time.
TwistItUp
Well-Known Member
It was cold in the jail I was in too. We were giving two wool blankets and you had to chose use both as blankets or roll one up as a pillow. I managed to get three blankets for a while because I had an extra one from a holding cell in booking. Till they cleaned the cells and took away my third blanket. I asked when they would turn the heat on and one of the CO's said its better cold so germs don't grow.
My remedy was to ask for extra toilet paper and then get the toilet paper wet and I climbed up on the sink/toilet combo and threw the wet toilet paper on the vent till the vent was completely blocked with toilet paper stopping the in flow of cold air.
TwistItUp
Well-Known Member
I used to read the paper every day and this one day I asked for today's paper.
One of the CO's gave me a paper. And it was for the day before.
So when he came back around I told him this is yesterdays paper.
And he says it says Today. It was USA Today. I was like you got to be kidding me.
One of the CO's gave me a paper. And it was for the day before.
So when he came back around I told him this is yesterdays paper.
And he says it says Today. It was USA Today. I was like you got to be kidding me.
too larry
Well-Known Member
I had to give up drinking 25 years ago due to health concerns. Starting in 2004 I stopped growing and smoking while my wife had a high profile job. She lasted 12 years at her job, and I lasted 11 in my tolerance break. These days I can't seem to skip a single day without smoking.
The Outdoorsman
Well-Known Member
I did a few days this year, first time whatever. Mostly listening to the 90% that were in bragging bout Heroin and meth. I butted in a @Pinworm joke about shooting a speedball into the main vein under your cock.
One guy was quick to correct me and said "Nah man you gotta use the big vein on top, but you gotta do it slow or your dick will swell up like a balloon"
90% peeps were in for heroin or meth. Didn't know it was that bad around here, guess the Rez is pretty bad.
Another guy was in there for fucking a cat. He was getting treated for gohnorrea
Me uh bullshit misdemeanor assault charge im still fighting. hah, fighting. Fuck me.
One thing I was told, when you have to shit you keep courtesy flushing whole time you take a shit, if you stink it up you could get beat up.
One guy was quick to correct me and said "Nah man you gotta use the big vein on top, but you gotta do it slow or your dick will swell up like a balloon"
90% peeps were in for heroin or meth. Didn't know it was that bad around here, guess the Rez is pretty bad.
Another guy was in there for fucking a cat. He was getting treated for gohnorrea
Me uh bullshit misdemeanor assault charge im still fighting. hah, fighting. Fuck me.
One thing I was told, when you have to shit you keep courtesy flushing whole time you take a shit, if you stink it up you could get beat up.
mr sunshine
Well-Known Member
I was rounding the corner passing Oxford street when I landed on community chest. I reach for the top card on the deck and BAM! go directly to jail do not collect 200. Skipped a turn and everything, It sucked.
The Outdoorsman
Well-Known Member
Lol fucker, anyone catch that cholo jacking shopping carts? I still rock my Target hand crate I accidentally drove off with, handy around the house.