my vial almost always comes out when im drunk or barred out. being drunk takes away the initial anxiety i have sometimes before smokin D.
a few days ago, it finally got cool outside here in miami. so i went out early in the morning and made a fire. i was totally sober and felt like smokin some D, so i packed my bong and lit up. out of about 20 times ive smoked it this was only the 2nd time without music and the first time i did it outside. before i blew the hit out i already started to see some patterns and colors. i find its hard for me to enjoy it in complete silence. so for the first minute or 2 the silence was fucking with me, im hearing lots of words go thru my head but i cant make them out. it seems like its something about everything ive done wrong in my life. also, i get these strange popping noises inside my head and it feels like its in the top of my brain, loud high pitched pops. like my brain is frying or something. after the first few minutes these words and sounds fade and come back in less intensity. but this is where the visual part gets better. i look out at my yard to the east and every tree in my yard looks bent or changed in some way by the morning sunlight. my yard looks like a new place ive never been. staring at the wood in the fire looks insane. i can see into every crack and crevice formed by the ashes and burnt logs. i can feel the insanity that the ants are feeling trying to escape from the burning log. it feels kind of mean but i laugh my ass off at these ants, glad im not in their situation. i look down at the bricks of my fireplace, holy shit! theres mold growing in the bricks and insane veins with millions of tiny bugs flowing thru them. i sat down on the floor and had my face about 2 inches from the bricks for the next 10 mins. i could put my finger inside them and watch the mold and bugs flow over my finger. i must have looked like a mental case scratching at the bricks with my face 2 inches away.
next time i try it outside im gonna have my mp3 player with me.