How did this mellowing happen? Just got away from school/juvy? Maturity? How are those tendencies just "gone?" Serious inquiry. Have a family member who is being bullied. I'm worried they will grow up and stay angry or worse, a vicim.
Getting away from school and juvy played a part it in. Teenagers in general are cruel. I still have nightmares about some of the things that I was put through. Maturity is also another factor in it. The things that would bother me when I was 15 I now think of as petty and not worth my time and effort in dealing with.
I won't deny my issues to anyone. I'm diagnosed Bipolar, Borderline personality disorder, Anxiety disorder, and major depressive disorder with sprinkles of PTSD. I also have fits of blind rage when I get too upset. Although nothing that becomes violent it's still an issue.
I would say that therapy helps. Proper medication and counseling will save someone's life. The problem there is finding the proper counselor. I've dealt with shrinks and caseworkers my entire life and I can only name 2 that I would say made things better and not worse. School counselor's are a joke. They're goal is not to help the child in need but cut off a liability.
Something else that has helped me was when I finally stood my ground and put stop to it. Refusing to take the role of the victim through acts of violence is frowned upon in today's society, and I try not to advocate it. But there is a harsh truth in that a bully will only understand the sight of their own blood. Running to a teacher only makes it worse. The kid will get a scolding, maybe a slap on the wrist, and then come back and push you harder for getting him in trouble. Ignoring the problem does even less good.
As grotesque as it is to think of it this way, there was a deep sense of satisfaction when I saw the fear in the kids eyes as I became... not my normal self. Not just the fear in his eyes, but the fear from everyone as he was being put in the stretcher and I was being put in handcuffs. The idea that these people spat on me, humiliated me, made a game of trying to make me cry... and then they looked at me and I could see the real fear in their faces. It was empowering and terrifying. It is not feeling I will ever want experience again.
Yet even after Juvy I still found being violent as to easy of a decision. My last "fight" was when I was 19-20 something like that. I was leaving a show and someone said something to me that I didn't like. I spun on my heals grabbed a beer bottle off a counter and broke it over the closest persons face. I did not hesitate. I did not think. I don't even know if I had hit the person who was the offender or if it was just an innocent bystander. I did not care. My friends got me to leave before it got even uglier. That was also my last concert.
What my advice is. Get your family member into counseling immediately before he snaps, and the bullying won't stop until blood is shed. If he/she isn't strong enough to fight on his own, then give a group of delinquents an Oz of dank, a bottle of whiskey and have them take care of it. Find someway to let the others know that this is not a person to be pushed around.
