The Funny Quote Thread

Fenian Brotherhood

Well-Known Member
You Know How It Is. Post It Up Fam

I'll start:


"You Can't Force sight Into A Blind Man Anymore Than You Can Force Knowledge Into A Dumbass"
 

Fenian Brotherhood

Well-Known Member
"theres no room for going half ass, cause half asses cant even sit unawkwardly. Its unpracticle to have half ass and quite honestly repolsive."
 

hempyninja309

Well-Known Member
"Hey everybody come on over here please.... I just want you guys to know that I am drunk as fuck, driving around town drunk im on dope and I want you to call the police. I want to go back to jail please. Not only that but I have a loaded handgun right here. Im going to start firing this off... So please call the cops" - Ricky Trailer Park Boys
 

neosapien

Well-Known Member
My personal fave but only works on 90% of the population...

You're so full of shit your eyes are brown.
 

ebgood

Well-Known Member
to 911..."me and my wife ate some pot brownies and now everything is moving really slow...i think we're dead, can you send rescue please!"
 

Fenian Brotherhood

Well-Known Member
“Even if you weren’t in my food chain, I would go out of my way to attack you.
If I were a lion and your were a tuna I would swim out into the middle of the ocean and fuckin eat you! And then, I’d bang your tuna girlfriend.”

.....

“Ok, first off, a lion…swimming in the ocean?
Lions don’t even like water.
If you placed it near a river, or some sort of fresh water source, that’d make sense.
But you find yourself in the ocean, a 20 ft wave, I’m assuming its off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full, grown, 800 lb tuna with his 20 or 30 friends.
You lose that battle. you lose that battle nine times out of ten.
And guess what, you wandered into our school, of tuna and we now have a taste of blood! We’ve talked, to ourselves. We’ve communicated and said, ‘you know what? lion tastes good. Lets go get some more lion.’
We’ve developed a system, to establish a beachhead and aggressively hunt you and your family. And we will corner you, your pride, your children and your offspring…”


“How ya gonna to do that?”


“We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. Its not going to be days at a time, an hour, hour 45. No problem. That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get more oxygen and then stalk you. You just lost at your own game. You are out gunned and outmanned.

That go the way you thought it was gonna to go?”


“Nope.”
 

hempyninja309

Well-Known Member
"This shirt is dry clean only... which means its dirty" "A burrito is a sleeping bag for ground beef" "If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up"
 

bluntmassa1

Well-Known Member
"a snitch is fish with no fins that can't swim when I dump him in a river" Shyne

"I got techniques drippin out my butt cheeks sleep on my stomach so I don't fuck up my sheets" Notorious BIG
 
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