The UK Growers Thread!

Q: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
A: Open the door put the elephant in and close the door

Q: How do you put a giraffe in a fridge?
A: Open the door take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, close the door

Q: If there is an animal meeting and every single animal is going to be there except for one, which one would it be?
A: The giraffe, It's still stuck in the Fridge

Q: If you had to get across a swamp and it was full of crocodiles how would you do it?
A: Just swim across, The crocodiles are at the animal meeting.

My evening is so far almost euphoric, just been clicking around putting dumb ass yanks in their place :lol: I do love that section of the evening where it's not yet time to go out but there's not enough time to do anything of value, so you opt to be devils advocate and start pissing everyone off :D
 
bah got a week til ive got to tear my shit down and move house, not the best timing either as my plants have still got a fortnight min to go, on the plus side though im moving from a 2 bed flat to a 3 bed house and its got a fully boarded out loft with power :-) , only drawback is im gonna have at max5ft height which im not looking forward to, why cant things be easy eh?
 
3bed house you say :D that could be fun. You taking on the whole thing or is it gonna be shared with someone? The things i could do if i had a spare couple of bedrooms. I'd buy a shark for one thing.
 
tip top toker said:
3bed house you say :D that could be fun. You taking on the whole thing or is it gonna be shared with someone? The things i could do if i had a spare couple of bedrooms. I'd buy a shark for one thing.
Click to expand...

yeah whole thing for me,gf n baby, cldnt resist it at only £50 a month more than what im paying for a 2 bed flat with cunts for neighbours
, also its only 100yards from the house i grew up in so thats kinda cool coz all the old neighbours still live there lol
 
What you paying for the new place out of curiosity? The place i have is 800 a month before any bills or council tax. If i lived near the folk who i grew up around, they'd probably think me some sort of drunk menace purely based on my childhood experiences with em :D I used to get in so much trouble as a kid:D i remember having to have councelling with my brothers once, we were at a christian place and we were on a big high cliff walk, so me and my bro's ran around chanting commitment suicide for an hour or two :lol:
 
Oh god, if that was spontaneous you need to get into standup. Don't think my flatmate has ever heard me laugh that loud for so long, normally just a grunt of approval :lol:

Have you ever watched Milton Jones, Dura? As simple as it is i find him very entertaining :D
[youtube]FopcSCMIXY[/youtube]
 
tip top toker said:
Oh god, if that was spontaneous you need to get into standup. Don't think my flatmate has ever heard me laugh that loud for so long, normally just a grunt of approval :lol:

Have you ever watched Milton Jones, Dura? As simple as it is i find him very entertaining :D
[youtube]FopcSCMIXY[/youtube]
Click to expand...

lol, it was spontaneous. my head is probably tuned into comedy as a result of reading jokes all day long, i can literally spend hours each day in pursuit of laughter.
i know that milton character from mock the week, very tripped out but exceptionally funny due the truly unexpected punchline style of his humour, lateral thinkin appeals to me as i tend to think a little off key myself....funnily enuff so does my dad and my brother, must be genetic.
 
tip top toker said:
Oh god, if that was spontaneous you need to get into standup. Don't think my flatmate has ever heard me laugh that loud for so long, normally just a grunt of approval :lol:

Have you ever watched Milton Jones, Dura? As simple as it is i find him very entertaining :D
[youtube]FopcSCMIXY[/youtube]
Click to expand...
im watching milton jones tomorrow live its a small old world ent it
 
Lol, that's where i know him off as well. Funny guy. My whole family are more of the P. G. Woodhouse variety of comedy, and while i absolutely love the stuff myself, I can never get enough of never mind the buzzcocks, mock the week, Q.i, all that pointless but great comedy.
 
Just ebay jewelers loup. Loads of em for cheap, better than the funky microscope things, and lots come with lights built in, and for penies :)

"I just phoned the spiritual leader of Tibet, so he sent me a large goat with a long neck, turns out i'd phoned dial-a-lama"

Such a bad joke but he somehow pulls em off so bloody well :lol:
 
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