What a fucking experience. Great way to make your own family member feel worthless!

cannabisguru

cannabisguru

Well-Known Member
Hey everyone..

As some of you know, my father is retiring today. He's been serving as Administrative Judge (Workers Compensation Commission) for the past 15 years. Before that, he was serving as Federal Judge; then moved down to Federal Court Judge. So he's done a great service to the state and I totally agree with everyone on that. I love my father.. I mean shit, he's my father. Not perfect by any means.. but I bet he's one of the better fathers out there.

Anyhow, today's his retirement "party" and their holding at his new office, where he's going to go into practice for himself right? Well, I just got back from there.. and I feel like my own fucking family shunned me for the way I came dressed. But the fact is, is nobody bothered to fucking tell me that everyone else was going to be wearing a fucking suit and tie!!!! NOBODY FUCKING TOLD ME! So not only were the 40 other lawyers, judges, etc.. eyeing me and staring me down for the way I was dressed.. but my own sister and brother in-law kept looking at me as well. I know its also because of my past.. I used to be addicted to oxycodones and Roxycodones.. But for Christs sake people, I've been fucking CLEAN of ALL AND ANY OPIATES for the past fucking 3, almost 4 years now!!! When will my family realize that, that part of my life is fucking over with?!?!? I mean, it kind of makes it really hard for myself to stay on the clean road.. when my own fucking family STILL, after almost 4 years of sobriety (except pot.. but, bleh.. its not a drug IMO) won't even give me a chance!

I mean, everyone in that fucking place was looking at me!! And, I wasn't even dressed all that bad.. its just I didn't have a fucking suit and tie on.. well, kinda fucking hard to comply with the fucking rules when nobody takes it upon themselves to fucking let me in on the secret!!! Fucking bastards... just go fucking off myself, be better off that way. I'm 29 years old; no job; never been married; no girlfriend to lean on or talk to; no friends really to speak of.. except one, and he's got two kids now.. so he's never got any free time these days.

Gah damn man.. I mean, if its going to be like that, well, then I need to just disappear. Maybe get back in with the people I lost touch with.. get back into shooting fucking Oxy/Roxy's all fucking day. Maybe when my family hears about me overdosing.. maybe then they'll realize that "hey, maybe he was actually clean.. maybe we were too hard on him."

It's the only way I can see any peace in my life.. is to just end it. I mean, the way everyone was looking at me.. because I know they've all heard about my past.. and they fucking judge you/me on that.. and its not fucking fair!! Tired of this shit.. So I made some fucking mistakes in my life.. so what, its in the fucking past!

Freaking bullshit IMO.. I wish I still had some of my old connects right about now... :evil:

Ah, feels good letting all that out. Thanks everyone.. cya.


P.S. - I arrived at the "party" dressed in clean/nice kahki shorts with a nice Polo dress shirt wearing my Nike Shox. I thought I looked decent. But again, if nobody tells me that everyone else is wearing a suit and tie.. how the FUCK am I suppose to know that?!?! FUUUUUCK! fuck it.. peace.
 
Don't do anything stupid man regardless of how you feel right now there are people who care about you. I'm helping a friend through her addiction right now and she feels the same way a lot of the time and it scares me.
 
Perfextionist420 said:
Don't do anything stupid man regardless of how you feel right now there are people who care about you. I'm helping a friend through her addiction right now and she feels the same way a lot of the time and it scares me.
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Ah, I won't do anything stupid. It's just.. I'm really worked up right now bro. It's just fucking bullshit the way people were looking at me....

They got my anxiety going out the roof.. which its settled down now that I've smoked a bowl. But its still fucked up the way this went down man.
 
feel free friend.... understand its hard for people that never had to go through a serious addiciton or experience it first hand to let it go... i get what you're saying and am not sticking up for anyone but harming yourself or slipping back into your old bad habits is what they are waiting for. dont give them the pleasure. instead stay sober and make em deal with it. you are who you are and you shouldnt let other peoples opinions influence your own well-being! feel me?
 
timeismoney1 said:
Well shouldnt the dress code have basically been applied if you knew judges and lawyers where going to be there?
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That's a good point.. and yes, you would think that. However, from what I can see on the invitation I got in the mail, it nowhere says "Dress in Suit and Tie".

Which it should have said that. Hell, I talked to my mother and she herself told me "oh no, you don't have to get dressed up. Just wear some nice khaki's and a nice shirt." Which is exactly what I did.. so I don't know what the hell the problem is/was.

But I am getting tired of my own family treating me like the 'black sheep' of the family. If they can't move on with their lives.. and realize that I'm no longer an addict and that, that part of my life is over with.. then its not healthy for me to be around them.. period. It's not going to do anything for me.. except drag me down.. and I don't need that negativity in my life.
 
Ebb n Flo said:
feel free friend.... understand its hard for people that never had to go through a serious addiciton or experience it first hand to let it go... i get what you're saying and am not sticking up for anyone but harming yourself or slipping back into your old bad habits is what they are waiting for. dont give them the pleasure. instead stay sober and make em deal with it. you are who you are and you shouldnt let other peoples opinions influence your own well-being! feel me?
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I know I know I know.. I apologize.. I was really upset/energized/filled with adrenaline... Like I said, after driving back from the party.. and the only thing I could think of actually doing was coming on here for maybe a little bit of support.. and it looks like I might actually have some friends around here.. so I appreciate you guys. More than you probably even realize.

Thanks for the kind words everyone.. I appreciate it.

peace.
 
your making this seem to deep.I bet they weren't even really surprised by how you were dressed.There still judges and lawyers I guarantee you they seen worse.
 
lol all the crap going on in the world and you whine on the internet because you didnt have enough sense to wear a suit and tie.
 
ah just forget about it, it sounds like you were more bothered about it than they were, they were proly thinking this f,,,,,,in suit is uncomfortable wish i was wearing what he's got on
 
Well maybe if a few more judges and lawyers started dressing like you do they wouldn't be so fuckin uptight.....I'm with ya bro I've been the black sheep of my family as long as I can remember. Couldn't give 2 shits about it either thats their problem not mine. Kepp yer chin up.
 
Honestly, it probably was the shorts.

You have to think, it's their natural environment to dress in suits and ties all the time. So they'd definitely do the same at a retirement party. Maybe even more-so. On the other hand, you'd think they'd let that go for a day for a party. I'd probably go with a tropical shirt or some shit at my retirement party. Kind of a symbol to "I'm free!". :)

Don't fret friend. They're just eyeballs. :)
 
canuckgrow said:
Well maybe if a few more judges and lawyers started dressing like you do they wouldn't be so fuckin uptight.....I'm with ya bro I've been the black sheep of my family as long as I can remember. Couldn't give 2 shits about it either thats their problem not mine. Kepp yer chin up.
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there is nothing wrong with committing to a "wardrobe", especially for a HUGE "event".

what other time would one wear a suit? personally i think it shows some class and self respect.

i haven't had on a pair of pants in a month. shorts and rubber sandals for me. :)

my parents are having their 50th wedding anniversary in a month. it's gonna be at my brothers house. he has a few acres. chickens and what not. we're a pretty active family and will be throwing balls, playing badminton, my brother has high dollar RC copters. he may launch one into flight. we will bar-b-queing. lots of kids. probably be in the 90's outside. i think shorts will be appropriate. :)

if they were to rent a hall and hold an evening "event", i would most definitely wear a suit. ;)
 
fdd2blk said:
there is nothing wrong with committing to a "wardrobe", especially for a HUGE "event".

what other time would one wear a suit? personally i think it shows some class and self respect.

i haven't had on a pair of pants in a month. shorts and rubber sandals for me. :)

my parents are having their 50th wedding anniversary in a month. it's gonna be at my brothers house. he has a few acres. chickens and what not. we're a pretty active family and will be throwing balls, playing badminton, my brother has high dollar RC copters. he may launch one into flight. we will bar-b-queing. lots of kids. probably be in the 90's outside. i think shorts will be appropriate. :)

if they were to rent a hall and hold an evening "event", i would most definitely wear a suit. ;)
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To each their own right???.....I have no problem with any of it and am quite capable of scrubbing up myself. But it should be the persons choice bottom line and to be ridiculed or shamed because of it is wrong IMO. Especially given the OP's circumstances in which he was never told it was black tie.
 
canuckgrow said:
To each their own right???.....I have no problem with any of it and am quite capable of scrubbing up myself. But it should be the persons choice bottom line and to be ridiculed or shamed because of it is wrong IMO. Especially given the OP's circumstances in which he was never told it was black tie.
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should he have to be told?

i thought we were all adults here.



he wore shorts to a judges retirement party at a law office. of course he's gonna be judged, they are judges.

lol

it is respectful of the guest to show respect to the host. if this includes "proper attire" then one should submit, or simply stay home.

Etiquette (
11px-Loudspeaker.svg.png
/ˈɛtɨkɛt/ or /ˈɛtɨkɪt/, French: [e.ti.kɛt]) is a code of behavior that delineates expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class, or group. The French word étiquette, literally signifying a tag or label first appeared in English around 1750.[1]


and they wonder what is wrong with today's society.
 
Its kinda like a job interview, or going to court, weddings.. its usually better to dress up than down.. I mean at least thow on some levis:)
 
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