Why, did the Bubble Gum cross the street??

Because, it was stuck to the bottom of the chickens foot... LOL

Heard that from my 5 yr old Granddaughter.

awww cute...

a woman is driving first time on the highway.
her husband calls and says "be careful love its just been on the radio that someone is driving the wrong way on the highway."
she replies, "someone?"...these idiots are in the hundreds."

Olga and Irina are walking down the prospekt.
"You know, Olga ... lately I have been seeing spots."
"Oh Irina. That is not good. Have you seen a doctor?"
No, Olga. Just ... spots."

A gay guy, a rich guy, and a fat guy all die and go to hell. When they get there they are all begging the devil for one more chance on earth. Feeling like a really screwing with them he says alright, but there are conditions. Gay guy, you may only have sexual relations with women from now on. Rich guy, you may never touch even a single cent as long as you live. Fat guy, you can only eat fruits and vegetables the rest of your life. And then he clapped his hands and they were back on earth. The fat guy immediately runs to a candy store opens a candy bar takes a bite and POOF he vanished. The rich guy see's a penny on the ground bends over to pick it up and POOF the gay guy and the rich guy vanished.


If there is anyone here I failed to piss off I apologize.

do i have to post all my jokes again in this thread ?
There are joke threads already .

I've been doing a lot of painting lately. Abstract painting - extremely abstract. No brush, no canvas. I just think about it.

What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?









Washing machines dont follow you around after you put a load in em..........