Why do you smoke?

Other than for the high. Although, if that's really your only reason, feel free to list it.
I smoke as a general damper for something that I never really named, I get these weird fixated thoughts, like a looping segment of a movie, over and over, and sometimes I can't pull my mind away from them. If they keep going I have something similar to a panic attack. Sometimes it's something harmless, like a cute kid licking a never ending lollipop, again and again.
Most of the time it's something like a newborn babies' head falling off, and then the mom sobbing hysterically as she tries to put it back on, but it falls off, again and again.
I get caught up in the rhythm of the movements, the facial expressions, as they slowly move into each other, and it sucks me into the beat, till I can't control my breathing anymore. My heart and lungs are racing to keep up with the swirling of my thoughts, and I'm caught in the whirlpool. Sometimes I recognize that the thoughts are going to do this to me before they get that far. Sometimes I don't.

I don't tell anyone I know about this, because I'm really a normal person otherwise, other than the loop-thoughts. I don't want to take medication for it. Because I've been on medication before, for ADD, and it...
It worked, but it took too much away in return, you know what I mean? Gave me new problems. Suddenly the panic attacks don't even have the courtesy to give me looping-thoughts, they just start hitting me while I'm sleeping.

Marijuana keeps the looping thoughts away, helps keep me calm, so I can think in a nice, calm, straight, line.
And being high is fun too.
Of course, since I was arrested, and started getting random drug tests, I can't smoke anymore. At first I was fine. Had my first attack in public on Friday, right in the middle of my schools' stairwell. How embarrassing. I told everyone I was worried about finals and went home early.

How could I tell them I'd gotten caught up in the visual of someone stomping someone else's head in, and couldn't make it go away?

TL;DR

I smoke because I have weird thoughts I can't make go away otherwise.

I smoke becuz it helps a lot with my depression and anxiety, and to get high 2. I smoke by myself most of the time so Im not just a social smoker. Sometimes when I smoke it really helps me get out of the same boring habits that I have in my sober life. I have depression and anxiety with delusions and paranoia and if I stay sober for 2 long It kind of takes over my thoughts all together. Getting high helps to stop those thoughts before they can take over me.

I was sober for 4 months earlier this year and the bad thoughts took over me, it was real bad. I had extreme anxiety, bad panic attacks, depression, and I was really really irritable. I started to think that it was the end for me and I was sure I didnt have long to live. If I didnt start smokin again Im sure that I would either be dead right now or in a mental hospital. After I started smokin again almost all of that shit went away. It was like a miracle, all of it went away and I remembered how to enjoy life. I have mild panic attacks once in a while, kind of the same thing as u with the loop thoughts.

Philly_Buddah said:

I have depression and anxiety with delusions and paranoia and if I stay sober for 2 long It kind of takes over my thoughts all together. Getting high helps to stop those thoughts before they can take over me.

I was sober for 4 months earlier this year and the bad thoughts took over me, it was real bad. I had extreme anxiety, bad panic attacks, depression, and I was really really irritable. After I started smokin again almost all of that shit went away. It was like a miracle, all of it went away and I remembered how to enjoy life. I have mild panic attacks once in a while, kind of the same thing as u with the loop thoughts.

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Yes, that's how I felt, like marijuana was a miracle cure. No bad side effects, it just gave my mind back to me, and left me in one piece.

You having looping thoughts too? And what kind of delusions, (if it's okay if I ask), I never thought anyone else had this particular problem. Does anything else work for you? I've been smoking cigarettes with passable results, but I hate the coughing/bad smell.

I smoke to relax. I smoke because I enjoy the taste and smell.

I smoke so that I can think outside the box, and because I have chronic back pain. We are so limited by society on what's right and wrong, what we can and cannot do, and how stuff is done and not done. When I smoke (and im sure many other haha) you just don't think like that. Your able to think of things that make complete sense that are outside the confines of society and would otherwise not be thought of (maybe by you, or anyone). Smoking enables me to step back and analyze all the different angles as well, where as normally I might just go with my hard headed stubborn way, when there are others.

i smoke cuz I enjoy the high,,and have been doing so for 26 years,,it's not often I am without,,but I notice without it,,I'm like a vibrating ball of energy waiting to be unleashed,,I have plenty of energy as it is for a "gettin there dude",,I think if I didn't smoke I'd prolly find out I got some hyper activeness problem or something,,did I mention I like being high

Keep on Growin

HoLE

Well yes I smoke cause I like the high too. . I know lots of people that take presciption meds for anxiety, stress, bi-polar, depression etc. I am sure I suffer from something mental myself, but smoking weed chills me out. When I have a bad day at work, nothin like a few bong hits to wash it away. At this time of year I tend to get sad and lonely but my weed picks me up. I have smoked it for years and could not imagine with out. I have gone days without smokin, even weeks. I noticed I was not the same person though. Weed is a part of me.

Yeah I have something like looping thoughts. Its common with anxiety becuz u cant stop thinking and worrying about the same thing. I have delusions of the way I think things are and there usually not that bad. Like it has something to do with being paranoid 2 becuz Ill think ppl are talking about me sometimes. Sometimes ppl look at me weird and I think that they know something that they shouldnt know or theyve been spying on me, its hard to explain but a lot of ppl have this. Its not social anxiety though.

Its weird but when I 1st started smokin I was young and I was so worried about getting caught and I would actually hear ppl talking about me smoking from far away. This would happen a lot especially when I was high. Im pretty sure my mind was playing tricks on me becuz I never really got caught. I heard ppl say my name a couple times and when I looked around nobody would be there. Its not 2 bad right now I havent been paranoid like that in a while

I have always referred to it as my leveller. keeping things on a more even keel. I have for reasons associated with circumstances at the time...gone without sometimes for extended periods....I have had the tendency at time to abuse alcohol. I have been on a multitude of anti-depressents and seratonin inhibitors.....to me they are took too much of the edge off and left me with nothing. MJ leaves me free and enhances my exploratory nature....I find myself in that peaceful place where all seems to be in its proper place, able to manage and adjust more comfortably than when without. I am so happy to have been able to make progress on my own growing....security of supply and anxiety over trustworthiness has held me from having a reliable and consustent opportunity to enjoy this wonderful weed. for now....I have to wait until my bud is ready....

i smoke because it tells me to.

i smoke because it helps me not kill

and to deal with the blanket in my avatar

hehe i used to have a holly hobby blanket and my x made me get rid of it cause he was turned off by it if you know what i mean

I smoke because it relaxes me (i can be high strung), I love the look, smell, taste, clothes (everything about it) and I believe it is my God given right to do so!!!!!!! Oh yeah, I think it may keep me from going postal some days too.

I smoke because of anxiety, depression and chronic pain. I like the high much better than alcohol. I too will drink too much if I don't smoke. If I smoke weed, it relaxes me, takes my mind off of the "loop thoughts" (mine will be about people I know dying) and eases my pain. Plus, everything is 10x funnier, so I like to watch comedy when I am hight (until I fall asleep). Also, after a hard day at work, I like to smoke a bowl and it makes it worth it to work hard so I can go back to work and make more money to buy more weed (and the other niceties in life).

i smoke so i can do things i hate happily

I hear that, like house cleaning. Weed makes things easier. Like Tahoe said, a leveller.

kayasgarden said:

i smoke so i can do things i hate happily

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hahahahaha....like Chiceh said...housecleaning!....makes me think of that Robin Williams movie...Mrs. Doubtfire...where there's that piece him cleaning the house to Aerosmith...Dude looks like a Lady! hahahahahahahaha

i smoke because being high is a great feeling no matter what you're doing... great times with friends and it calms my nerves relaxes my mind and lets me think with a clear head without the worries of my everyday life.... BUT since probation I have not been able to smoke much I already violated once and im not goin to jail for smoking... not worth it.

Philly_Buddah said:

Sometimes ppl look at me weird and I think that they know something that they shouldnt know or theyve been spying on me, its hard to explain but a lot of ppl have this. Its not social anxiety though.
I heard ppl say my name a couple times and when I looked around nobody would be there. Its not 2 bad right now I havent been paranoid like that in a while

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I get that too! Wow! I was so sure I was just a special kind of nutzo. Not quite schizophrenic, but not really normal either.
I don't really get paranoid, in so much as I worry about getting caught irrationally. I can logic that stuff away.
It's the irrational thoughts that get me, stuff that couldn't possibly ever be real, and therefore can't be explained away by logic. Like visions of huge, alien, malicious, caterpillar monsters eating little girls alive.
I recently got out of the legal trouble I was in, so I'm looking forward to smoking the bud I've been growing. ^_^ Saying goodbye to all the flesh curdling visions creeping around in my head.