Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo

burlingo

Well-Known Member
ARNDALE, OK – Sheriff’s investigators have closed the unsettling case of a 49-year-old female construction worker found dead in her driveway after a neighbor witnessed her using a high-powered jackhammer to pleasure herself.

After a two-day investigation in which officials initially suspected foul play–Shirley Dent’s death on May 1 has now been ruled an accident “after severe internal distress induced by the machine was discovered,” Det.-Sgt. Karl Sprout of the Alpara County Sheriff’s Office said yesterday.

On May 1, a neighbor witnessed a naked Ms. Dent in her driveway “struggling to direct a jackhammer toward her mid-section.” The alarmed neighbor notified police after hearing ear-splitting moans of distress that carried over the raucous jackhammer. Authorities arrived at the scene to an unresponsive Ms. Dent, who was then transported to West Grenier Hospital where she was pronounced dead shortly thereafter.

The recently divorced Ms. Dent had been questioned by authorities three times over the past month after neighbors complained of her running a prostitution ring from her home. Records also show that Ms. Dent supplemented her income as the sole proprietor of a sex toy distributor
.
Ms. Dent’s alleged extracurricular activities appear to be unrelated to her death. A neighbor who declined to be identified said, “She was a horny lady, especially after her husband moved out. My family could hear moans coming from her place all the time.”


http://decentcommunity.org/2009/05/05/women-dies-after-using-jackhammer-as-dildo/

:shock:
 

Louis541

Well-Known Member
Wtf. I opened this thread thinkin it was going to be a joke. Wierd ass people on this planet.
 

burlingo

Well-Known Member


just look at that thing!

who would look at that and think

"hey.....i wonder if.... no....well i got a few minutes to fill. might be a laugh. what's the worst that can happen"
 

CanadianCoyote

Well-Known Member
She couldn't take that thing INDOORS with her! Would've fucked up her tile!!

... People will do some really stupid things to try and get off. What the hell is wrong with using your fingers? HONESTLY??
 

Pyro Peaches

Well-Known Member
Wow that is the most fucked up thing I've read in the news since the ShamWow guy got arrested for fighting with a hooker who actually beat HIM up!
 

StreetRider

Active Member
The Shame-Wow guy's whore tried to bight his tongue off. He claims he kept hitting her in the face until she let go.... That man knows how to party. And to think I beleived that he was gay.

Wasn't there a site named FuckMachines.com>
 

burlingo

Well-Known Member
ahhhh... sorry guys. i had no idea.

i don't know why but i feel somewhat let down, as if i really wanted this to be true.

maybe i'm just a sick individual?
 
B

Benassi

Guest
All she would of had to do was call me instead of using a jackhammer. Considering I don't have any missed calls from Arndale, OK... second proof this is bogus.

Thank you.
 
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