would you let your teens smoke if you found out....

for you who have kids..when they grow up to be teenagers would you let them smoke if you found out that they were doing it anyway?? i ask because of my fucked up father!!
i grew running away all the time on the streets of portsmouth and norfolk va. cuz my dad would beat the shit out of me since i was like 6yrs.old i did not move to n.c untill i was 17.
i started smokein pot when i was probley about 13-14. they didnt know it though. i dont think they found out about it until i was maybe 15. and they would tell me not to do it and shit and how bad it was. but i never cared what my dad said cuz he had beat me so i could careless my mom was a different story.
but i still smoke anyway. when they would catch me with it they would take it and say that they was going to through it away or flush it down the toilet. well one day they took my stash and said their fushin it. so the next night they left to go somewhere ( caint really remember where )but i went to their room to find some cash to make for them takin my stash. and damn to my surprise i found my shit.. almost all gone they been smokein their selfs( whats up with that? ) dont tell me not to smoke and its bad just to take it from me like a thief in the night for your own gain!
but anyway if i found out my kids where smokein when they where teens and they where going to do it anyway id probly just let them do it at home and ask them just to do it at home. cuz theirs to much bullshit for them to get caught up in on the streets. so at least if they were at home i know that they were safe. and not out gettin into shit and maybe gettin a phone call sayin i need to pick my son/daughter from the police staition.. what would you do??

I would not. I would make them stay in school (unlike my uneducated ass) and then when they graduated it would be there choice.
Well I did allow my sone to try a pot brownie we made, it was way strong and he decieded that Ganja was not for him. He was 16 at the time, 17 now.
I would rather my children (3) smoke weed then to drink beers. (Recovering alcholic I am) Drinking puts your gaurd down way to low, and smoking just makes you do stupid things that you are aware of but you think it's funny at the time.

Haha they smoked ur stash??? thats fucking hillarious

but idk if i would let my kids, i might.

i dont want them to.. but if they going to do it anyway. id rather it be at home then be behind my back!!

thats exactly how i feel, id rather relate to my kids, and have them do it at home , then behind my back. and with the possiblity of alienating my kids, i would rather not impose certain rules with an 'absolutely not,' in fear that those kind of
'rules' actually persuade my children to work against me. kids are tough, knowing when or not to draw a line. I choose to try to be more of a friend to my children, they dont get in trouble for telling me stuff, that maybe should be kept to themselves. I am there unwaivering best friend...

tilemaster said:

thats exactly how i feel, id rather relate to my kids, and have them do it at home , then behind my back. and with the possiblity of alienating my kids, i would rather not impose certain rules with an 'absolutely not,' in fear that those kind of
'rules' actually persuade my children to work against me. kids are tough, knowing when or not to draw a line. I choose to try to be more of a friend to my children, they dont get in trouble for telling me stuff, that maybe should be kept to themselves. I am there unwaivering best friend...

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i have a close relationships with my kids also..they come to me all the time to talk.. granted their kids and its kids stuff.. but to them its bigger and they know that they can come to their daddy!!

No i wouldnt let my kids smoke anything till they're at least 16, your brain needs time to develop and smoking that young just aint good for ya I wish hadnt drinkin or smoking anything until i was 18 im only 21 but i feel like i've seen and did it all before!

tilemaster said:

thats exactly how i feel, id rather relate to my kids, and have them do it at home , then behind my back. and with the possiblity of alienating my kids, i would rather not impose certain rules with an 'absolutely not,' in fear that those kind of
'rules' actually persuade my children to work against me. kids are tough, knowing when or not to draw a line. I choose to try to be more of a friend to my children, they dont get in trouble for telling me stuff, that maybe should be kept to themselves. I am there unwaivering best friend...

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Man I Have tryed to be my sons friend, and have been until he got a girlfriend. Now it's like ~ Instead of getting a summer job he wants to stay at the lake with his GF and I told him one day lake next job pavement (get a Job). Well that uber pissed him off. But I am a hard dad, I mean what I say and I show tough love. Do thngs right and then go have all the fun you want.
I am very proud of my straight A (senior this fall) son. He wants to go into pharmacalogy (pharmacist) because he likes science.
I dunno I went into drop out tune in and kiss the sun (acid tabs).

not if they were young. once they're say 17, they're almost a real person, and can think about things for themself and such. at which point i think it would be ok, i'd still want to light up with him her for the beginning, just so they get a. the most paranoia, relaxed, comfortable first experience etc, don't want him to get a bad first impression and b. i'd rather they started smoking around smeone learned in what it's really about and such, as opposed to some shady kid who smokes and bails on school etc,

and yeah, school HAS to come first

Tough question with various good arguments either way. My opinion is that I agree with Danrasta about allowing their brains to develop prior to introducing anything that alters the brain and hurts the lungs.
It's probably not good judgement to make parenting decisions based on one's own history of past trauma (your aweful father's behavior). Just because your father appears to be a giant ass, it doesn't mean that you must be the total opposite (best friend to your kid) or you will be like your father. There is a balance between parental guidance and friend, but its hard to find that balance if the old trauma has a hold of your psyche. Good Luck and all the best!

sanasari said:

Tough question with various good arguments either way. My opinion is that I agree with Danrasta about allowing their brains to develop prior to introducing anything that alters the brain and hurts the lungs.
It's probably not good judgement to make parenting decisions based on one's own history of past trauma (your aweful father's behavior). Just because your father appears to be a giant ass, it doesn't mean that you must be the total opposite (best friend to your kid) or you will be like your father. There is a balance between parental guidance and friend, but its hard to find that balance if the old trauma has a hold of your psyche. Good Luck and all the best!

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my dad is not like that not longer! hes had some health issues and iv done made my peace with how he has done me in the past.. and im not my kids best freind because of that ether. i just love my kids more then anything. and i always want to be their for them. my kids is all i have in this word. and i will always be their friend and their dad!!

i would let my kids smoke shit my mom introduced me

Sorry, I didn't mean to say anything bad about your Dad. I just want people to know tha there's freedom from painful childhoods and it sounds like you have that now.

When my parents split up and I went to live with my dad, his girlfriend, and her kids I think I was about 15. My dad knew I smoked pot because my mom had found some seeds in my room about a year earlier. Him and his girlfriend sat me down and told me it was okay, they do it too, and they'd rather me do it at home than lie to them about where I'm going and do something stupid to get myself arrested or worse.

I'm pretty sure that if it weren't for being able to smoke at home, I definitely would have gotten into trouble. I'm glad they took a common sense approach, rather than trying to tell me I shouldn't smoke (hypocritical since they both smoked) or trying to punish me for it.

My kids are way too young now, but when they're teenagers I'll definitely have the same kind of talk with them. I'd much rather them be SAFE at HOME than running the streets. I would probably even get them a bag if they wanted it, because we all know that drug dealers usually have access to a lot more than just pot - and I don't want them fucking around with *real* drugs.

Call me a bad parent if you will, but I think a bad parent is one who LIES to their children. I want my kids to know the truth. I'm so not looking forward to my daughter having D.A.R.E. in school. I know it's coming soon, within the next few years.

sanasari said:

Sorry, I didn't mean to say anything bad about your Dad. I just want people to know tha there's freedom from painful childhoods and it sounds like you have that now.

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i didnt take no offence to it or nothin!! that was then..i just dont want my kids to have to grow up the same way i did..i love them very much and i wont make the same mistakes with them that my dad did with me..i dont want them to feel that hatered torwds me that i had when i was kid torwds my dad ( i dont feel that know ) but i got a good relaitionship goin on now. so hopefully i can keep it that way...

I'm going to let my kids smoke once theyre teenagers... I mean... You pretty much know theyre going to try it anyways, might as well make sure they do it safely and they know not to smoke something laced haha


And I know I would have a 10000X better relationship with my dad if I could light up with him every now and then : /

if there younger than 15 i would do exactly what your parents did goten, and by that i mean tell them how bad and evil it was and take it and then flush a bag of spices down the toilette in case they were watching. and then after they went to sleep i would lock myself and the mother in our room and smoke it all, saying our kids shit sucks lol

if they are like15-16+ i wouldnt care, i would get them good bud so they dont need to blow all of their (my) money on overpriced shwag, like i know little teens do. i would smoke with my kid, knowing hes not on the street hiding from police with a bunch of hooligans getting into deeper shit

wildkard91 said:

I'm going to let my kids smoke once theyre teenagers... I mean... You pretty much know theyre going to try it anyways, might as well make sure they do it safely and they know not to smoke something laced haha


And I know I would have a 10000X better relationship with my dad if I could light up with him every now and then : /

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ive known that my dad smokes mad weed since i was like 16 i put all the pieces together.

i remember stoping with him one time and we stop in the middle of the city and he tells me to wait here and locks the doors. comes back with a paper shoping bag, it looks like a loaf of bread is inside, but i never see it

i remember the mysterious smell that was always coming out of his room, a kind or good merch, less good skunk smell. sometimes i smoke weed with someone and the smell of it takes me back in time, trying to figure out what that same smell in my dads room was

i remember him going off into his woods with a machette and a big empty duffle bag. came back went right to his room and didnt come out for hours. the house smelled funky for days

i know my dad has smoked weed my entire life, and if he or i would just smoke a joint with the other i think our relationship would be so much better than it is

GoldenGanja13 said:

Man I Have tryed to be my sons friend, and have been until he got a girlfriend. Now it's like ~ Instead of getting a summer job he wants to stay at the lake with his GF and I told him one day lake next job pavement (get a Job). Well that uber pissed him off. But I am a hard dad, I mean what I say and I show tough love. Do thngs right and then go have all the fun you want.
I am very proud of my straight A (senior this fall) son. He wants to go into pharmacalogy (pharmacist) because he likes science.
I dunno I went into drop out tune in and kiss the sun (acid tabs).

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That's a great career choice that your son has made. If I were better at science and math, I'd probably go to school for it. They can make around twenty bucks an hour.

Anyhow, I would bring my kids up around weed and tell them the truths to it, but I would also tell them that they should wait until they are legal adults before doing it. I really believe you should wait until you're older.

Although I smoke and I first smoked when i was 14, I did take a break from 17-28 (military) I personally would not let my children smoke.

Both my kids have completed the mandatory DARE training in school and both times they asked questions about drugs, I pointed out certain drugs and told them flat out If I see you messing with this......(I wont elaborate). But when they asked me about marijuana i told them that is a descision you will make when you are 18 and not before.

I was surprised when they asked more questions and I explained (briefly) our state law and why Dad smells funny sometimes, and that what i was doing was completely legal, and our family Dr. who they adore had helped me get this medication.

So i'm honest with them they know not to mess with it before they are 18 I trust my kids, because I know how I raised them 1 is 15 1 will be 12 in a few days I also have a 23 yr old daughter. ciao Deh...