WTF!!!!! A Pecker in My Old Pot? (pics. yes. pics)

I had a mechanical breakdown that fried a few plants about 9 days ago.
Decided to toss, what used to be, a nice fruity sativa, in Roots 707 soil. All indoor grow.
I put her in a dark cabinet and forgot about her until yesterday. Plant is useless and I found what looks like a fungus growing out of the dirt!!!!!!!
What IS This????

omg a dirt penis...dont get to close or it will squirt you in the eye

There are fungi identification sites if you want to pin it down to species genus family etc etc. Id try for you but the vastness of fungi makes it a blag.

Spores are in your soil naturally, when the conditions are right they pop up

There was this one time i had a massive black penis pop up, it was so hard and thick and slippy. Could barely get my hand round its shaft and really had to pull hard but eventually it came.

Taste test it