You know you live in Michigan when.....

1. If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you may live in Michigan.
2. If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't even work there, you may live in Michigan.
3. If you've worn shorts and a jacket at the same time, you may live in Michigan.
4. If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Michigan.
5. If "vacation" means going anywhere North of Grand Rapids for the weekend, you may live in Michigan.
6. If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Michigan.
7. If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Michigan.
8. If you have switched from heat to A/C in the same day and back again, you may live in Michigan.
9. If you can drive 75 MPH through two feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Michigan.
10. If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both doors unlocked, you may live in Michigan.
11. If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Michigan.
12. If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Michigan.
13. If the speed limit on the highway is 70 MPH and you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Michigan.
14. If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Michigan.
15. If you know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Michigan.
16. If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Michigan.
17. If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Michigan.

LOL

Brother #2 is so true you sure as hell cant find someone that works there to help you. LOL

global warming is gonna hook us up all toasty... Appreciate the snow while it lasts -

..in a few more yrs, midwinter january, we'll be able to roast marshmallows by just placing them on the asphalt. I'll be able to cauterize my hemorrhoids by simply sitting on a park bench. michigan will be like the equator... no maybe not so fast

If you refer to venison as "speed beef"...

Hell yeah we eat roadkill.

Great thread!

From Chicago but so true bro...hahaha....living in Central europe, their looking at me funny to go out for a smoke in the winter in a t shirt...like its fuckin like 50 somethin degrees out here, relax!..haha

If going left means making a u-turn and going right...

Haha you'res are awesome!

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my Gf texted me this earlier, i wish it was me who came up with those.

I have a little different take on the 4 seasons. Almost winter, winter, hotter than hell, and winter again. Construction never fucking stops except for snow removal.

abe supercro said:

global warming is gonna hook us up all toasty... Appreciate the snow while it lasts -

..in a few more yrs, midwinter january, we'll be able to roast marshmallows by just placing them on the asphalt. I'll be able to cauterize my hemorrhoids by simply sitting on a park bench. michigan will be like the equator... no maybe not so fast

Click to expand...

Till then there is an excellent method for treating hemorrhoids that an old sheenie confided to me many years ago. Go into the bushes on a warm, sunshiny day, drop trou, and taking two sticks point your ass at the sun. Use the sticks to hold your asshole open and let the sunshine gently heal and soothe them.

Do you think he was trying to blow sunshine up my ass??

True story. His name was Harry Kramer. The year was 1973. Fuck. I'll never get that image outa my head.

if your looking for a good or fare looking job even with a collage degree . and you end up working fast food then your in Michigan . when you don't have 2 dollars to your name because economy sucks and all the businesses close up then your in mi.