A cautionary tale, of recent changes in plans, and the negative ramifications.
In August of last year, 1 1/2 years into our 5 year "reset" plan, the boss lady's mom got very sick -- heart issues. We talked about it, and while talking about it were given assurances that my record wouldn't stop me from coming back to IT -- because people that the boss lady knew owned or operated companies that would look past my record, and at my resume and skills. With the idea of being LEGAL again, her mom in dire straits, and the promise of a return to the IT industry, we started making a new plan. Found a place to stay while we found jobs, put some money and meds in reserve, to help us make it until those fabled businesses reviewed my resume. In hindsight, I'm certain that the goal wasn't to get US back, just the boss lady. Those companies vanished, the people that were so warm became cold -- I think that the boss lady's choosing to have a life with me upset some of her friends. (Understandable, because of my record. Not understandable, for their reasons given. - straight jealousy, of our relationship and the time we spend together.)
Looked for work for a few months, things went bad, things got better, things got even worse than bad. As things went to shit, we packed up and I headed up to Colorado -- because I would have a place to live there, she's got a job, and place to live.I could look for work in a much bigger and more technical city. That's not working out great, because most companies -- including ISPs for support jobs -- require a minimum of SECRET security clearance. Starting up my own company is the alternative -- and, I'm working on it. The government trained me to set up and secure networks. I worked with some of the most advanced firewalls that are designed, and I know how they were built. I know encryption, about securing and privatizing networks, and minimizing online exposure. My business is dedicated to the legal/medical marijuana industry. Bring all the tools that I was taught to the table, as it were. Start up businesses require 2 things, though: Budget for advertising and initial clients that are willing to spread the word. They depend on each other, and I don't have them... So, plan C.
I was offered a job trimming, helping out with an outdoor medical grow, and assisting the person in setting up -- or moving forward -- with their indoor grow, along with getting to set up my indoor grow. We (the boss lady, her baby, and I) will get a room, board, smoke, and 100$ per 1# trimmed. It allows me to get some money, regroup, and our original plan put us in Oregon, anyway -- this is just the most circuitous and painfully impoverishing route we could have taken.
I guess when I stepped back, I was trying to politely let a few people that I talk to in private a lot know that I was leaving because my situation had finally dissolved into the worst-case-scenario that we'd discussed. Instead, I got a couple apologies, a couple well wishes, and a few "don't let the moderating get to you."
It was simply this: I was homeless (staying with family, yes -- but still effectively homeless,) and needed to focus all of my attention on my immediate situation. I mentioned moderating, because I had started actively trying to get the bullshit down, but couldn't be consistent because I didn't have the time to actually monitor, and don't prioritize this site as more important than my life, my fiance's life, or our life together. (It's also difficult to be consistent, because people won't click "report," they just act stupid right back.)