Dick sucking thread

Was I fat and balding? If not, your psyche is lying to you.
You were the protagonist. And you had the most delicious and sexiest of beards that one could possibly beard. I was stuck in awe of ice caps melting while you brushed and manscaped the beard. I respected, and wanted to touch an finagle it. Every aspect of your manfacehair made me want to teenage mutant ninja beard!
 
You were the protagonist. And you had the most delicious and sexiest of beards that one could possibly beard. I was stuck in awe of ice caps melting while you brushed and manscaped the beard. I respected, and wanted to touch an finagle it. Every aspect of your manfacehair made me want to teenage mutant ninja beard!
I have a weak beard, can't get too manly working in the food industry :(

But I rock it as hard as a bowl of jello.
 
I have a weak beard, can't get too manly working in the food industry :(

But I rock it as hard as a bowl of jello.
You were a solid reason why I wanted to have the beard. I respect the beard. I owe the beard. Oh...my..god...becky...just...look at ...his beard, it's just so.....beard! Arm wrestle w/ a beard! I pledge a alegience to the beard. "You need to shave that thing!" SHUTTUP GRANDMA GROW A BEARD!!!

I put my faith in my facial hair when I grew you!!!
 
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