I hope you can read with some rythm.....:
38 seconds
concieved, born and bread. This world, satan and everything. Sleep walking and hand held, force fed, bled and breeding, eating sleeping, wishing for thinking of understaning of these feelings. Wandering, seeing, unbelieving. Shown and loving, so oh so torn, devoted, whole and not complete, feeling so obselete. 6 billion, each their own, growing and growing in feeling until i utter that moan. Wishing for the more, the closeness, the completeness. the completeness of death.
And their is her, and their was her, and she will be. All these these things just all around me, leading to the same place. And I can't place it, its all so out of my hands, and I am so happy, and I am such a fool, and I am so smart. And so are they, I credit them all and I love them all and I follow them all and then there is what feels right, but who am I to decide. Lost little puppy wandering fed periodically from the hands of those kind strangers that I want oh so bad to love, to leave, to be alone, to be complete, to be obselete, to make a difference, to be showing of my inferrence, and so divided, so split ended of a hair coming from a head of undeniable logic, a slave to the wind being blown around, and then the metaphorical analyses meets up with reality and I am left with the truth that is me, and I handle it, I keep going on and I deal, in dealing I find myself healing and licking those wounds, while keeping in mind the powers of the seperations of meanings that are so scattered yet so contained in just one word or the formation of a sentence of words, let me go, let me go upwards, let me love and be loved, praying and answering, sweetly and my disposition has never changed, just the reaction and the transaction. Technically its all indescribably part of the whole........ driving one (me), some ones son, like the billions. I want to be and am everyone else, exactly, just in my own way. So stupidly a genius, all I really want to do is forget about all this, wish I could, wish I didn't love it so much.
Hands shaking, emotion runs throughout
I love, I love, do I love enough
unsure of self in this world,
Drawing strength from The Power,
so freely given, what it does is enliven
and there I am walking, riding, talking
crying, and sleeping, eating, and dying
welcoming it all, and so scared,
so self contradictory, just needed a release
so that I can continue on to do whatever it is to please,
don't ever want to stop writing,
the only time Im not dying, when I am living
when I am with you, and you are me, and we are everybody
alone.