Well, it took only 500+ calls to get through to the IDPH.
On my 118th call today, the phone finally rang, and I finally talked with someone. Unfortunately the person I spoke with had no good news, and didn't seem to have a lot of information or answers. He did tell me that my application is in the system and that there were no problems with it, but when I asked if he could give me an estimated timeline, all he would say is that they're dealing with a high volume of applications, and that they're processing them in the order in which they were received.
I also asked what he could tell me about provisional access. His answer was "That's for the opioid program only." He's wrong, and I know it, but I didn't argue. He added that "They're still deciding what the rules will be, and we don't know how long that will take."
Rather than pointing him to
the actual rules as defined by law, I politely thanked him for his help and hung up.