Our Six Year Old Is Transgender.

[Nixs]

Wtf has that to do with why you are shitting your pants on this thread in the politics section? Do you have sex issues?
From your original post on this thread, you clearly think both sides are the same in the political struggle facing American society. If this is true then you have no moral or ethical foundation. Why post such meaningless bullshit on this particular thread? Can't you see a difference between the sides, on this issue or in American politics?

By all means, post anything you want on an appropriate thread, lot's of people make the both sides are the same argument, they just all happen to be Trumpers, though most won't admit it.

Why are you so upset? Do I have to dance to your tune to please you? You Sir are not better than Trump and his followers.

 

[Unclebaldrick]

I've learned a lot from this therad.

I have learned that most people are supportive of transgender people. I have learned that there is a whole lot of misunderstanding of what being non binary means, but most people are open minded and quite willing to learn about it.

I have also learned that the least informed people are extremely triggered by the very thought of transgender people, but mostly a child. Many of them are bound up in some sort of quasi-religious fog of fear and hate. For some reason, my child's gender seems to pose some sort of existential threat to them. It seems that most of these people have no understanding that gender is a social construct. It also seems that they are frightened of children.

Most ominously, the small group of triggered people seem to think that our decision to allow our child to be happy was abusive and perverted. I worry about those people, both for themselves and what they are likely to do when they encounter a trans person.





Thanks for the support and dialogue. I really do love you guys.

 

[hanimmal]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2021/05/11/nonbinary-mom-raising-daughter/

I was 10 years old — three years older than my daughter is now — when I first failed at gender.

A small blond girl on the grade-school playground ran up and told me to look at my nails. I curled my hand into a cat’s claw and looked, unsure what I was looking for.

My classmate shrieked with glee: “You’re a boy!” she shouted.

“Am not,” I said, dropping my hand.

“Are, too,” she said, that irrefutable childhood argument. Girls, she explained, held their hands out at a distance, fingers splayed like a fan, to look at their nails. Only boys curled their hands into a fist, as I had done.

It was a gender test, my first, and I had failed.

I was embarrassed, but I wasn’t surprised. I wasn’t what I’d call a tomboy. I was more like a lanky mobile blur of anxiety. Dread, my childhood companion. Now I was nervous about my gender. How could I have gotten it wrong? Such a basic thing?

As I moved through the linoleum-floored halls of Midwestern public schools, I found claims about sex and gender suspect: Girls were supposed to be cooperative, not competitive; emotional not cerebral; sociable, uninterested in sex. Girls were supposed to like dolls and boys. I liked neither. I took no interest in Cinderella; I wanted to be the prince. I had crushes on girls, was fiercely competitive and preferred science and math to most everything — and everyone — else.

I was convinced that everyone must feel as I did — human, not male or female. When I closed my eyes at night, I was myself alone, a feeling, not a gender any more than I was a hair color or eye color (or fingernails on an outstretched hand). I was a consciousness. I trusted that everyone felt that way. It was the source of conversations at sleepovers, as we learned to name things, including ourselves. I considered myself androgynous; I secretly thought everyone was.

This was the 1970s, and women were only beginning to receive basic civil rights, thanks to Ruth Bader Ginsburg, among others, though I didn’t know her name then; thanks to Second Wave feminism and the failed effort to pass the ERA, which focused attention on gender inequality.

Four ways to raise joyful, change-making girls

Whenever humanity was sorted by sex, I inevitably missed the mark. I suspected the mark was mistaken. I dutifully dated, learning the script of romance from movies and musicals, treating dating as a competitive sport, a science experiment: If I did X, would Y result?

In college, when I read Simone de Beauvoir (“one is not born, but rather becomes, a woman”) and Virginia Woolf (“a great mind is androgynous”), it wasn’t news, even as it was a relief.

When I first went to bed with a woman at age 25, I felt as if I was falling back into my body, falling through a pane of glass, shattering in the most wonderful way. The next morning I cut off my long hair, got it sheared short as a boy’s.

After my haircut, I walked around Lake of the Isles in a long flowing lavender dress, delighted by how the air caressed my scalp. When a kid shouted, “Mom, is that a boy or a girl?” it took me a minute to realize the kid was talking about me.

The woman smiled at me, as if to say, Kids what can you do with them? But I was delighted. Exactly, I thought. That’s right. I’d finally gotten it right, the gender test.

When I moved to Manhattan after college to work as a film magazine editor, I adopted the New York writers’ attire of the 1990s: suitcoat, boots, jeans, men’s T-shirt. I was often taken for a man at ticket counters in airports, in museums, at movies. The clerk would say, “May I help you, sir,” then apologize profusely. But I was never offended. I was curious.
What suggested I was a guy?

I thought maybe it was my outfit, my hair, but plenty of women wore suits, and it happened even when my hair reached my shoulders. I began to think it was something more basic: that I moved as men do, after years of dating women, with the confidence that comes of women’s generous view of others, no longer feeling that I must please or petition. I moved without apology.

Now decades later, I am the mother of a daughter, and I want that for her — an unapologetic life — so I worried when, six months into kindergarten, I noticed a shift. For her first years, gender stereotypes did not seem to guide her. Her tastes were all-encompassing: When asked what she wanted to be when she grew up, she answered, “A Dentist-Painter-Mom.” (Her best friend wanted to grow up to be a dragon.) She picked out a blue bike; dressed as a dog for Halloween, then as a penguin and then a dragon. When her best friend got her hair cut short, my daughter asked to have her own long hair cut short. She looked androgynous; she looked like me years before.

At a local pool, my daughter and her friend were mistaken for boys, and my daughter was dismayed, but I didn’t worry. Her best friends were a fierce girl-gang of wolves, with whom she scaled trees and 40-foot climbing walls.

Then a few months into kindergarten she began to say things that concerned me. When asked if she wanted to play soccer, she said, “Girls don’t play soccer, that’s for boys.” Instead of drawing dragons, she began to design dresses; she asked me if I’d teach her to sew. She began to favor princess costumes, ignoring the space suit in her closet, and the dragon with long furry teeth. She began to ask, “Do I look pretty?”

She asked for high heels for her 6th birthday, then for a wig.

I grew increasingly concerned, but I tried not to show it. Occasionally, I’d slip: “You can wear pants instead of a dress, y’know.” I’d say, “Being pretty is fine, but it’s not the most important thing. Being kind, curious, just and generous matter more.”

I don’t mind if my child is “girly,” but I don’t want her to feel she must conform.

Recently I asked, “Why do you want a wig?”

“I’m not you, Mommy,” she said, breaking and healing my heart at one and the same time.

“That is very true, my Nutkin,” I said.

“Please don’t call me Nutkin,” she said.

“Okay,” I said. “I won’t.”

Years ago an acquaintance who was raised Jewish converted to Evangelical Christianity. When she came out to her parents as Born Again, in a hotel room in Israel, they were shocked; there may have been tears. What she remembers is that her parents said, “Just promise us one thing? You won’t vote Republican.”

It’s a funny story, but it haunts me: I wonder what one thing I’m afraid of. Promise me you won’t be apologetic; promise me you won’t take on that female freight.

I want my daughter to be who she is, unapologetically. I want her to fall in love with the world and its possibilities and with her own. But I don’t need — or want — her to pass my gender test.

Lately she has taken to flying, or trying to. I remember jumping from roofs at her age, and I am grateful we have no balcony. When I look at my daughter, joyously trying to fly with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders — now a bat, now Pegasus, now a unicorn, a mermaid, a ninja, a princess, a wolf — I am glad to see her trying on the possibilities, learning the names of things, learning to be on a first-name basis with the world (red-tail hawk, towhee, steller’s jay, Western tanager, populus tremuloides, nasturtium, prairie poppy, etc.), so she will have the language to call herself by the right name, whatever terms she chooses, whenever she discovers what that is.

E.J. Levy is the author of the story collection, Love, in Theory, which won the Flannery O’Connor Award. Her debut novel, “The Cape Doctor,” is forthcoming in June.

Join our discussion group here to talk about parenting and work. You can sign up herefor the On Parenting newsletter.

 

[shattascam]

I have learned that most people are supportive of transgender people.

Believe it or not, I am one of such people, as much as you may now believe the opposite, mostly due to what to my knowledge is gaslighting, trolling, or outright just hate speech flung at me by others in this thread, and the truth is that these qualities are nonpartisan. Both sides have their hands dirty in this regard. Your "liking" of some of such ignorant posts leads me to believe you buy into the hype. I would say it's sad, were it not so pathetically predictable as often those who laud themselves on SJW tenets ironically and hypocritically overlook other moticums of human decency as they are shortsighted and blinded by their own smugness.

But alas, the field in which I plant the fucks I give is barren. Besides I probably have a bigger cock anyway. Underendowment is the only conclusion I can come to with grown men who have little to do but belittle others on the internet to feel good. Same goes for rich men with piss poor human morality like Jeff Bezos. I am done with this thread, this site, and most likely social media and the internet for good after realizing how destructive it is for one's mental health. I don't need the internet to grow cannabis, and especially not to smoke it, if only to forget how much ignorance and hate still abounds in humanity. I wish you the best.

 

[Budley Doright]

I've learned a lot from this therad.

I have learned that most people are supportive of transgender people. I have learned that there is a whole lot of misunderstanding of what being non binary means, but most people are open minded and quite willing to learn about it.

I have also learned that the least informed people are extremely triggered by the very thought of transgender people, but mostly a child. Many of them are bound up in some sort of quasi-religious fog of fear and hate. For some reason, my child's gender seems to pose some sort of existential threat to them. It seems that most of these people have no understanding that gender is a social construct. It also seems that they are frightened of children.

Most ominously, the small group of triggered people seem to think that our decision to allow our child to be happy was abusive and perverted. I worry about those people, both for themselves and what they are likely to do when they encounter a trans person.





Thanks for the support and dialogue. I really do love you guys.

The easy answer would be ignore the assholes but they are the same people that can make your child’s life very unhappy so ignoring them is not a true option. All we can do, and yes it’s all of our responsibility, is educate (try) and raise the new generations to think and act differently towards others who are not following what is perceived as “right”. Should be easy right? But as we, sadly, all can see, there is still a long way to go . Your doing a great job UB and she sounds like a strong and intelligent kid. This thread was very informative and taught this old fuck a lot, thanks!

 

[DIY-HP-LED]

Why are you so upset? Do I have to dance to your tune to please you? You Sir are not better than Trump and his followers.

That's just it though, I'm not upset at all, just pointing out that you are amoral and don't know the difference between right and wrong. Why are you on this thread posting irrelevant bullshit? Your first post in politics is on a thread about transgender issues, there are plenty of topics to choose from in politics. The only thing I demand from you is the same thing I demand from everybody else, human decency. That's the way things work here, be prepared to defend your words and actions, post shit and get shit.

 

[TacoMac]

there is a whole lot of misunderstanding of what being non binary means

Still clueless on the subject.

Honestly, I'm wondering if people just come up with new names to be different. Seriously. The entire concept makes no sense at all. There's masculine, feminine and neutral. I can't wrap my head around the idea there would ever be anything else, and to this day nobody has ever been able to adequately explain it, define it, and list consistent examples of it.

 

[Frankterpene]

we had a friend back in the begining of this century that started to transform into a boy. She was not happy in her body, she took hormones and had a long processus of metamorphosis. She has a girlfriend back in the time and they both stay together.. everybody was unpolite with Him, but even more with his girlfriend. They got rude saying from everyone including some teachers.. we lost their track cuz they went away of our little town.. hopefully they are happy together and free from too many judging.... and still sorry for my english .. to the OP, hope everything will turn out as good as it can be for you and family. and if People are too rude with you, flush it.. life is too short to bother from people that judge or hurt yourself...even if its family

 

[CunningCanuk]

I've learned a lot from this therad.

I have learned that most people are supportive of transgender people. I have learned that there is a whole lot of misunderstanding of what being non binary means, but most people are open minded and quite willing to learn about it.

I have also learned that the least informed people are extremely triggered by the very thought of transgender people, but mostly a child. Many of them are bound up in some sort of quasi-religious fog of fear and hate. For some reason, my child's gender seems to pose some sort of existential threat to them. It seems that most of these people have no understanding that gender is a social construct. It also seems that they are frightened of children.

Most ominously, the small group of triggered people seem to think that our decision to allow our child to be happy was abusive and perverted. I worry about those people, both for themselves and what they are likely to do when they encounter a trans person.





Thanks for the support and dialogue. I really do love you guys.

This thread has actually restored some of my lost faith in humanity. Thank you for sharing your family’s story.

As for the ignorant, I’ve decided to just ignore them. It’s probably the same 2 or 3 pieces of shit with multiple accounts looking for attention. Fuck them. They aren’t worth the effort.

 

[schuylaar]

I've learned a lot from this therad.

I have learned that most people are supportive of transgender people. I have learned that there is a whole lot of misunderstanding of what being non binary means, but most people are open minded and quite willing to learn about it.

I have also learned that the least informed people are extremely triggered by the very thought of transgender people, but mostly a child. Many of them are bound up in some sort of quasi-religious fog of fear and hate. For some reason, my child's gender seems to pose some sort of existential threat to them. It seems that most of these people have no understanding that gender is a social construct. It also seems that they are frightened of children.

Most ominously, the small group of triggered people seem to think that our decision to allow our child to be happy was abusive and perverted. I worry about those people, both for themselves and what they are likely to do when they encounter a trans person.





Thanks for the support and dialogue. I really do love you guys and girls.

and those are the same people who are cops and have twisted rape fantasy's like the one @captainmorgan posted on another thread- i wouldn't put much stock into what they think.

you must allow your child to be who they are (with guidance of course) but this does not guarantee you a future together.

FIFY + and girls

 

[Nixs]

That's just it though, post shit and get shit.

You're absolutely correct, I got you & UncleBuck both of you are shit.

 

[hanimmal]

Believe it or not, I am one of such people, as much as you may now believe the opposite, mostly due to what to my knowledge is gaslighting, trolling, or outright just hate speech flung at me by others in this thread, and the truth is that these qualities are nonpartisan. Both sides have their hands dirty in this regard. Your "liking" of some of such ignorant posts leads me to believe you buy into the hype. I would say it's sad, were it not so pathetically predictable as often those who laud themselves on SJW tenets ironically and hypocritically overlook other moticums of human decency as they are shortsighted and blinded by their own smugness.

But alas, the field in which I plant the fucks I give is barren. Besides I probably have a bigger cock anyway. Underendowment is the only conclusion I can come to with grown men who have little to do but belittle others on the internet to feel good. Same goes for rich men with piss poor human morality like Jeff Bezos. I am done with this thread, this site, and most likely social media and the internet for good after realizing how destructive it is for one's mental health. I don't need the internet to grow cannabis, and especially not to smoke it, if only to forget how much ignorance and hate still abounds in humanity. I wish you the best.

https://www.rollitup.org/t/bi-partisan-senate-report-calls-for-sweeping-effort-to-stop-russian-trolls-on-social-media-platforms.997908/

https://www.rollitup.org/t/what-has-trump-done-to-this-country.1018837/post-16127442

 

[Unclebaldrick]

Believe it or not, I am one of such people, as much as you may now believe the opposite, mostly due to what to my knowledge is gaslighting, trolling, or outright just hate speech flung at me by others in this thread, and the truth is that these qualities are nonpartisan. Both sides have their hands dirty in this regard. Your "liking" of some of such ignorant posts leads me to believe you buy into the hype. I would say it's sad, were it not so pathetically predictable as often those who laud themselves on SJW tenets ironically and hypocritically overlook other moticums of human decency as they are shortsighted and blinded by their own smugness.

But alas, the field in which I plant the fucks I give is barren. Besides I probably have a bigger cock anyway. Underendowment is the only conclusion I can come to with grown men who have little to do but belittle others on the internet to feel good. Same goes for rich men with piss poor human morality like Jeff Bezos. I am done with this thread, this site, and most likely social media and the internet for good after realizing how destructive it is for one's mental health. I don't need the internet to grow cannabis, and especially not to smoke it, if only to forget how much ignorance and hate still abounds in humanity. I wish you the best.

I'm sorry, who are you?

 

[DIY-HP-LED]

I've learned a lot from this therad.

I have learned that most people are supportive of transgender people. I have learned that there is a whole lot of misunderstanding of what being non binary means, but most people are open minded and quite willing to learn about it.

I have also learned that the least informed people are extremely triggered by the very thought of transgender people, but mostly a child. Many of them are bound up in some sort of quasi-religious fog of fear and hate. For some reason, my child's gender seems to pose some sort of existential threat to them. It seems that most of these people have no understanding that gender is a social construct. It also seems that they are frightened of children.

Most ominously, the small group of triggered people seem to think that our decision to allow our child to be happy was abusive and perverted. I worry about those people, both for themselves and what they are likely to do when they encounter a trans person.





Thanks for the support and dialogue. I really do love you guys.

You often learn the most about people when the chips are down, some are just assholes, but most have just been conditioned to believe things. They are too psychologically inflexible to get beyond their conditioning, with old people this is somewhat understandable, old ideas mostly die with those who hold them. With younger people however it is a different situation, empathy opens hearts and that is what changes minds. Some people are assholes, sociopaths or close to it, since it's a spectrum disorder, others are just conditioned and to stupid to know how to evolve and grow.

Having a transgender child taught you a lot about yourself and others, it's value is in helping to discern the good from the bad, the helpful from the hurtful. Like Cheeto Jesus, can separate the sheep from the goats in your political life, this can do the same in your personal one. Surround your family with love, it's the best defense.

PS. Think about mindfulschools.org, a loving learning environment surrounded by mindful peers and teachers is very helpful too.

 

[DIY-HP-LED]

You're absolutely correct, I got you & UncleBuck both of you are shit.

Tell ya what, take it to another thread here in politics and Buck, I and others will be delighted to rip you a new one.

 

[schuylaar]

This thread has actually restored some of my lost faith in humanity. Thank you for sharing your family’s story.

As for the ignorant, I’ve decided to just ignore them. It’s probably the same 2 or 3 pieces of shit with multiple accounts looking for attention. Fuck them. They aren’t worth the effort.

1% of Americans are mentally ill and we are forced to walk around amongst them and that doesn't include the obvi like tweakers i guess they would fall under heavy drug users.

 

[UncleBuck]

It takes one to know one

great job.

 

[UncleBuck]

Believe it or not, I am one of such people, as much as you may now believe the opposite, mostly due to what to my knowledge is gaslighting, trolling, or outright just hate speech flung at me by others in this thread, and the truth is that these qualities are nonpartisan. Both sides have their hands dirty in this regard. Your "liking" of some of such ignorant posts leads me to believe you buy into the hype. I would say it's sad, were it not so pathetically predictable as often those who laud themselves on SJW tenets ironically and hypocritically overlook other moticums of human decency as they are shortsighted and blinded by their own smugness.

But alas, the field in which I plant the fucks I give is barren. Besides I probably have a bigger cock anyway. Underendowment is the only conclusion I can come to with grown men who have little to do but belittle others on the internet to feel good. Same goes for rich men with piss poor human morality like Jeff Bezos. I am done with this thread, this site, and most likely social media and the internet for good after realizing how destructive it is for one's mental health. I don't need the internet to grow cannabis, and especially not to smoke it, if only to forget how much ignorance and hate still abounds in humanity. I wish you the best.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

[schuylaar]

It takes one to know one

is this like..i know you are but what am i?

 

[DIY-HP-LED]

1% of Americans are mentally ill and we are forced to walk around amongst them and that doesn't include the obvi like tweakers i guess they would fall under heavy drug users.

Most mentally ill are consumed by their own issues and struggle to be happy. There is another category of brain damaged people who are the dangerous ones and they are not considered to be mentally ill, just have "character flaws". We are not at the point where we can reliably identify such people and the specific causes and severity of their conditions varies, but they make up around 4% of the population. People with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, dementia or depression per se, seldom harm others. It is those with antisocial personality disorders who cause the most harm by far, look at the damage Trump did.