Need Some advice...

[Biggravy22]

So here it is...

My wife and I had seperate plans over the weekend. She was going to have a "ladies night", and I was gonna put on my frat boy costume and go partying with the fellas. So last night her friends pulled out on her. Yes I feel bad, getting ditched is never fun, but my plans were still intact. Now she wants me to ditch my plans and go out with her. Now if it weren't for the fact that I have zero interest in going where she wants to go, i'd be down. We're always together. Everytime we go out it's us. Go home it's us. I wanted some me time. She said it's cool, and she understands, but she gave me this disappointed look. I told her i'd forgo my plans but I really don't want to.

What should I do?

Suck it up and be a good husband and go out with my wife? Or establish my position, stick to my guns and head out with the fellas?

I really don't want to hurt her feelings.

 

[mnk007]

You will only win if you go with her. At least in her head. I mean you might not LOSE if you don't go but you won't win. But it really depends on how last notice it would be for your friends and how long you have been together (living together).

 

[barrgemike]

I'd say go just to make her happy, Cause you can always party with the fellas. Best of luck to you.

 

[Louis541]

I would tell her that you have plans with your friends, and that what she wants to do just seems boring. Tell her you don't mind hangin out wiht her, but you want to compromise on the activity. If she refuses, then you know to go hang with the guys.

 

[Biggravy22]

I'd say go just to make her happy, Cause you can always party with the fellas. Best of luck to you.

Not really...they all live 200 miles away. I could chill with them more often but life does not grant us the free time necessary to do it.

 

[Biggravy22]

I would tell her that you have plans with your friends, and that what she wants to do just seems boring. Tell her you don't mind hangin out wiht her, but you want to compromise on the activity. If she refuses, then you know to go hang with the guys.

Man, I wish it was that easy.

 

[Sunnysideup]

Can't she go with you and your buddies?

 

[.:SEXISTONER:.]

ok this is from a womans point of view.
You should take her out to an early dinner then after that go out with your friends.
that way you are doing what you want and what she wants and it looks like you are still intrested in hanging out with her but you are not going to ditch your plans. A man is sexier if he doesnt give in to a girls every wish.
hope it helps a bit!

 

[Biggravy22]

You will only win if you go with her. At least in her head. I mean you might not LOSE if you don't go but you won't win. But it really depends on how last notice it would be for your friends and how long you have been together (living together).

It's not about winning or losing perse' because I know no matter what happens I wont win. I just don't want her to feel slighted. well we're supposed to hang out Friday. We've been married for 17 months, and living together for 2 years and some change. It would be very short notice. Would they cry about it? No.

 

[Biggravy22]

Can't she go with you and your buddies?

We've all hung out before and She could again. They all get along amazingly well. They love her, and they have told us that they view her as a sister, and not just another wife or girlfriend. I brought it up to her, and she was open to it, it just wasn't her first choice...ya know?

 

[Louis541]

Forgive me, but I don't see how that could be difficult?

 

[Biggravy22]

Forgive me, but I don't see how that could be difficult?

It's all good. Things change when you're married. Or maybe for me, but im just a very complicated person. I just feel bad when I can't provide two options for people...especially my wife.

 

[.:SEXISTONER:.]

it is acttually difficult i have kinda the same problem with my boyfriend. but i cant go any where with out him wanting to come with me. its hard to tell the person you love that you want some time to your self.

 

[Sunnysideup]

We've all hung out before and She could again. They all get along amazingly well. They love her, and they have told us that they view her as a sister, and not just another wife or girlfriend. I brought it up to her, and she was open to it, it just wasn't her first choice...ya know?

There you have it!!! You should not break your plans with your friends...She should be invited to go with you, but, you should not diss your friends because she wants to do something different....The plans were in place, hers fell apart, she is invited to join your already made plans...the choice is hers.

 

[Biggravy22]

it is acttually difficult i have kinda the same problem with my boyfriend. but i cant go any where with out him wanting to come with me. its hard to tell the person you love that you want some time to your self.

Exactly. Because you know whether or not they display the emotion they're feeling it. Out of all the things in this life that could disappoint your mate the last thing you want is for it to be you. I know this is small, but still you don't even want to be in that position. I've been telling her for a while "Have a girls night out." She's not clingy in any way shape or form, but she'd rather hang out with me...which is cool, but I'd like to go out and show my true colors.

 

[Biggravy22]

There you have it!!! You should not break your plans with your friends...She should be invited to go with you, but, you should not diss your friends because she wants to do something different....The plans were in place, hers fell apart, she is invited to join your already made plans...the choice is hers.

Sunny...so wise. *Hug*. I'll talk to her tonight.

 

[Louis541]

Seems like you got it all planned out pretty nicely. Hang out with her friday. And then head to the guy's for the weekend.

 

[Biggravy22]

^^^ I don't. She's from the Toronto area, and that's where we're going. So I either see them this weekend, or wait until next year. If they were closer it would be so much easier. *shrugs*

 

[Louis541]

She is tying to stop you from hangin out with your friends the one chance you get this year? Tell her to either tag along or buzz off. That is just wrong for her to even ask you.

 

[Biggravy22]

^^^ I'm gonna try and get her to roll so she can really get down. None of this froo-froo clubbin stuff.