recovery

[spleefed]

yh but that 1 little hit felt soooooooo good, 1a my roomates is movin that shit, weve know each other for years, he made me come out one night with him so i could see his fiends, becuase of what i saw that night i will never ever touch that shit again, cant imagine the hell u must have gone through, just stay with the

No doubt. I never had problems when I was only smoking.
Besides, my wife knows all of the signs and she's hip to my lies so I'm thankfull that she even allows me to smoke. I was super blown away that day I suggested that maybe I should grow my own. She saw the logic in not having to expose myself by buying it through other sources. She's good to me and for that I'll never do painkillers again.

 

[ukgrower2110]

you got a good wife man.

 

[phree23]

Physically no it's not demanding. Mentally.. fuck yes. Some days the stress levels are unbelievalbe. I've got about 20 people that depend on me doing my job so they can support their families. Today so far has been kind of a slow one and that's just as well cause I'm just not feeling it today. So I'm doing this instead of really focusing on work. Sort of on auto pilot. Some days that are really nice out I tell the office gals on my way out the door that I've got to go look at a new job or meet with a client and just take a drive out thru the country side and once in a while (okay most of the time) I'll have my one hitter with me.

yea dude that wat i figured man!!! i kno i couldnt do it man way to much responsibility for me lol id rather be one of the dude you would be over seein lol

 

[phree23]

I just kicked a four year addiction with methadone on june 5th 2009, by the "ween" method. and I'm just now starting to feel "normal" but what i've learned is that now I have to deal with bad days just like everyone else (instead of taking and or snorting a pill)...it truley is a day to day struggle...just hang in there bro!!!if you don't mind me askin what were you taking?

shit dude awesome to hear dude!!! i kno wat you mean about dealin wit bad days just like everyone else it blows!!! i was snortin anythin i could get my hands on dude. morphine oxycodone oxycontin vicodin percs if it was an opiate it was hittin my nasal passages. wat was really weird was that after about a year of doin painkillers and i went to treatment the first time which only lasted 2 months i started doin a lot of ecstacy and oxys/morphine that only lasted about 5 maybe 6 months before goin to my last treatment stay which was a great experience man and the center that i went to was set up mostly for opiates so they did an awesome job

 

[spleefed]

yea dude that wat i figured man!!! i kno i couldnt do it man way to much responsibility for me lol id rather be one of the dude you would be over seein lol

Don't sell yourself short. There is nothing exceptional in my background that got me to where I am except a willingness to try hard and always go to work everyday.

Out of high school I bet I had 10 different jobs by the time I got married. They all sucked so bad. Factories, fast food, convienance stores.. I was your typicall stoner.

When I was 28 I got hired at the company I'm at now. I was willing to do the stuff no one else wanted to, work late if needed and learned everything I could about what I was doing. Time goes by and I become a Service Manager and I like to think that because I smoked weed that I was able to see things differently and I found better more productive ways of doing things. When you can add to your employers bottom line you tend to get noticed. After several years of that I got called up to the big show.. General Manager. This position didn't exist as yet so there were no set parameters. So for the last 4 years I've been feeling my way trough this and essentialing I figured my best tact was to attack it as though it were mine and learned everything else about this company. There's too much here to list but things like payroll and payroll taxes, OSHA compliance, workmans comp, health insurance, overhead, banking etc... theres a lot on my plate.

The thing is that while you may think you'll never have a job like that because of the responsibility of it all. When I was your age I was unemployed living back home with my mom because I partied away all my money, I thought the same thing. Life can reward you in many different ways if you just give it a chance. You'll never win the lottery if you never buy a ticket.

I

 

[phree23]

why did u choose to take pills in the first place?

for me it was because i wanted to just separate myself from the rest of the world. i didnt need it for any physical pain but more for the emotional pain of bein lied to my whole life by my mom and separate. i loved how it just made separate go away the hate, the sadness, the pain, the anger.

 

[phree23]

Don't sell yourself short. There is nothing exceptional in my background that got me to where I am except a willingness to try hard and always go to work everyday.

Out of high school I bet I had 10 different jobs by the time I got married. They all sucked so bad. Factories, fast food, convienance stores.. I was your typicall stoner.

When I was 28 I got hired at the company I'm at now. I was willing to do the stuff no one else wanted to, work late if needed and learned everything I could about what I was doing. Time goes by and I become a Service Manager and I like to think that because I smoked weed that I was able to see things differently and I found better more productive ways of doing things. When you can add to your employers bottom line you tend to get noticed. After several years of that I got called up to the big show.. General Manager. This position didn't exist as yet so there were no set parameters. So for the last 4 years I've been feeling my way trough this and essentialing I figured my best tact was to attack it as though it were mine and learned everything else about this company. There's too much here to list but things like payroll and payroll taxes, OSHA compliance, workmans comp, health insurance, overhead, banking etc... theres a lot on my plate.

The thing is that while you may think you'll never have a job like that because of the responsibility of it all. When I was your age I was unemployed living back home with my mom because I partied away all my money, I thought the same thing. Life can reward you in many different ways if you just give it a chance. You'll never win the lottery if you never buy a ticket.

I

yea man i hear where ya comin from dude...i just feel more comfortable bein told wat to do man. it was how i was raised. its hard to break the habit man.

 

[spleefed]

yea man i hear where ya comin from dude...i just feel more comfortable bein told wat to do man. it was how i was raised. its hard to break the habit man.

You're just 20 right now. I know you're a grown man but believe me.. you haven't begun to know what you're capable of yet. The world is your oyster, it's up to you to get that pearl.

 

[woodsmaneh!]

Brother your a better person off the pills, I did not read all the post but your probably doing oxies, My son, 23 has been clean for 55 days and takes his first piss test on Monday so he can go back to work. 4 80's a day with coke, I took him to detox like I said he's been clean 55 days. He's much better off without that shit. Because it turned him into a monster. I'm being kind with my words he is may son. As for liking to be told what to do, join the forces or coast guard, MickeyD's there are lots of places willing to tell you wat to do and look after you and pay you too! Lots of people like to be told what to do use it to your advantage. By the way everyone gets told what to do its just the degree it happens to them.

Peace

I hope you make it, you will be one of the few who do decide to take control. NA, and get a buddy to call when you need it.

 

[phree23]

Brother your a better person off the pills, I did not read all the post but your probably doing oxies, My son, 23 has been clean for 55 days and takes his first piss test on Monday so he can go back to work. 4 80's a day with coke, I took him to detox like I said he's been clean 55 days. He's much better off without that shit. Because it turned him into a monster. I'm being kind with my words he is may son. As for liking to be told what to do, join the forces or coast guard, MickeyD's there are lots of places willing to tell you wat to do and look after you and pay you too! Lots of people like to be told what to do use it to your advantage. By the way everyone gets told what to do its just the degree it happens to them.

Peace

I hope you make it, you will be one of the few who do decide to take control. NA, and get a buddy to call when you need it.

thats awesome dude!!! i remember my 55th day it was one week out of treatment and i felt like i owned the world man!!! lol i have a job...well kinda lol i work for a snow removal and lawncare company so at the moment i havent really been workin but now that spring is on the way work will start comin more full time so i cant wait for the fuckin grass to grow!!! lol i mean that in both ways!!!! i cant wait to start my grow god damnit!!!!

 

[spleefed]

thats awesome dude!!! i remember my 55th day it was one week out of treatment and i felt like i owned the world man!!! lol i have a job...well kinda lol i work for a snow removal and lawncare company so at the moment i havent really been workin but now that spring is on the way work will start comin more full time so i cant wait for the fuckin grass to grow!!! lol i mean that in both ways!!!! i cant wait to start my grow god damnit!!!!

Nice. I like a good play on words. Or double entandres. Whatever.

 

[phree23]

Nice. I like a good play on words. Or double entandres. Whatever.

hahaha i didnt even realize it at first lol i was about to post it and did a qucik read over and noticed it lol

 

[shepj]

for me it was because i wanted to just separate myself from the rest of the world. i didnt need it for any physical pain but more for the emotional pain of bein lied to my whole life by my mom and separate. i loved how it just made separate go away the hate, the sadness, the pain, the anger.

That is why a lot of people do drugs. To be honest dude, you need to worry about the now and take control of the now. You can't make an excuse to lean on something, you need to take everything you do into your own hands.

 

[green fan]

hey dude! thanks for takin a moment to share part of your story dude!!!

wat would you say are something that helped you stay sober this long? you obviously have had some urges and temptations over the years and im just curious as to how you went about beatin them. again thanks for joinin in on this thread! every story has given me more hope in beatin my addiction and stayin of the nasty shit and i hope that some day i can proudly announce that i have "X" amount of years under my belt, although i gotta tell you im prouder than a mother fucker to say that it has been 7 months and 12 days since ive used any hard drugs

Congrats on the time bro! At that time in my sobriety I was seriously fucked in the head. It took me a while to get my brain chemistry with any semblance of normalcy.

When I wanted to use I just would look around and see where it got me before. I also trusted that things would get better, and I would no longer have any cravings.

I am one of the kinds of people looking for the eternal buzz. I stayed drunk and high everyday since I was 19. Basically at 29 the booze and drugs did not work anymore. It was a living hell. I tried to stop but I could not. I decided I was either going to get sober or kill myself. I was pathetic.
I competely surrendered to the recovery process. I had profound realizations during this time. I realized that I am in control of my actions, how I think about things.
In the early days of my sobriety I really had the craving completely taken away. I realized that substances had gotten me where I was, and I didn't want that for myself.
If you don't use right now you don't use, and guess what. It is always right now.
I have always been interested in spirituality. I made it my purpose in life to find out what God is, and why we are here. Helping others is the best way to make me feel better about myself and helps push away thoughts of using.


I stopped being a and active addict and found a job, went to work every day and now I have a great life and nice closet grow. I

I will take pain meds when I am in severe pain. I just know that I may have to have some help to get off them.

 

[phree23]

That is why a lot of people do drugs. To be honest dude, you need to worry about the now and take control of the now. You can't make an excuse to lean on something, you need to take everything you do into your own hands.

yea dude i kno that now but at the time i didnt have to deal with any of my problems. i thought it was perfect! until i realized that yes drugs numb the pain but that pain doesnt go away and it just keeps building up and up and up. i think we all come to this realization but when i did damn did that suck. and when i finally started in on my sobrity i realized that i created more pain for myself than if i would have just dealt with it in the first place.

 

[phree23]

Congrats on the time bro! At that time in my sobriety I was seriously fucked in the head. It took me a while to get my brain chemistry with any semblance of normalcy.

When I wanted to use I just would look around and see where it got me before. I also trusted that things would get better, and I would no longer have any cravings.

I am one of the kinds of people looking for the eternal buzz. I stayed drunk and high everyday since I was 19. Basically at 29 the booze and drugs did not work anymore. It was a living hell. I tried to stop but I could not. I decided I was either going to get sober or kill myself. I was pathetic.
I competely surrendered to the recovery process. I had profound realizations during this time. I realized that I am in control of my actions, how I think about things.
In the early days of my sobriety I really had the craving completely taken away. I realized that substances had gotten me where I was, and I didn't want that for myself.
If you don't use right now you don't use, and guess what. It is always right now.
I have always been interested in spirituality. I made it my purpose in life to find out what God is, and why we are here. Helping others is the best way to make me feel better about myself and helps push away thoughts of using.


I stopped being a and active addict and found a job, went to work every day and now I have a great life and nice closet grow. I

I will take pain meds when I am in severe pain. I just know that I may have to have some help to get off them.

yea im still a lil messed up from the amount of ecstacy i was doin for those 5 or so months man i was poppin/snortin 10-15 hits just about every other day if not everyday. when im stressed i start seein slight illusions it seems like the walls and floor and shit are slightly breathin or ill randomly hear a quick and quite noise. shit scared me for awhile lol i thought i was skitzo or somethin. but i noticed its only when im under stress or overly tired.

 

[phree23]

well im kinda worried now...i might have to get my wisdom teeth removed and im not really sure wat im gunna do for the pain. id rather not even get any painkillers but i dont wanna go thru the pain of havin them removed. but who know i prolly can go awhile longer without gettin em removed cuz they dont really hurt so much as they are annoyin the fuck out of me.

on another note im comein up on 8 months no hard drugs!! yay me!!!

 

[shepj]

You could take Ibuprofen with Acetaminophen.. it wouldn't be as effective as a narcotic, but you could probably get through that way. Just pick up some extra strength tylenol & some extra strength ibuprofen and double dose the shit.

 

[phree23]

You could take Ibuprofen with Acetaminophen.. it wouldn't be as effective as a narcotic, but you could probably get through that way. Just pick up some extra strength tylenol & some extra strength ibuprofen and double dose the shit.

yea ill def give it a shot. never really had much luck with it in the past but i sure it would be better than just tryin to muscle thru the pain. ive been puttin gettin them removed off for awhile now and my bottom left one had broken thru and re covered itself many times now and the last time it broke thru, it was over last weekend, it was more painful. its just about covered again so i think i should be good for awhile but its def somethin i think i need to just get taken care of and over with. by no means am i lookin forward to gettin it down tho.

 

[shepj]

Oh by no means do I think that APAP & Ibuprofen will eliminate pain.. it will simply make it managable. The rest is mind over matter. Hell some people don't even get anesthetized for the surgery. If you can make it through that with no narcotics, you can make it through anything. Maybe it is your "test" if you will?