Icy Hot Jerk Off Session And The Craigs List Sex Doll.

stumpjumper

stumpjumper

Well-Known Member
I'm calling bullshit. You don't just nonchalantly jack off with icy-hot and then tell about it like it was nothing.

I use this shit called BioFreeze on my shoulder and my wife was like, I want to rub some of that on your dick, so I was like yeah cool, why not....

Well, she smeared that shit all over my balls and in about 20 seconds my junk was ON FIRE... and I don't mean pleasantly warm either. This 6'2" 220lb motherfucker was running through the house about crying, splashing my shit with water, which was like adding fuel to the fire... NOT FUN. I don't suggest trying it.

You want to jack-off with some icy-hot you might as well dip your dick in gasoline and light it up.

We laughed like hell about 15 minutes later though.
 
ohmy

ohmy

Well-Known Member
How much do you get to rent her out ? The thing's someone could do to her in an hour lol, best part is a quick ride to the car wash and she will be good to go for the next person. The look at the car wash guy's face when you drive through with her straped to the roof .... man if you do a video you could make money. Just remember who gave you the idea lol
 
Banditt

Banditt

Well-Known Member
beardo said:
This guy I know picked up a sex doll off of craigs list. The good ones are really expensive and sometimes you can get a good deal on a used one. So it's Tuesday night having a couple of drinks and decide to try it, start getting in the mood and it's a special occasion the first time and it's going to be special was going to use Vicks vapor rub to get in the mood, it gives a warm sensation but the vicks was pretty much gone so tried icy hot and at first it was good but then started burning more and more and couldn't even finish. It just ended up awkward and dissapointing and i'm not even sure if I want to do it with her again now things are just weird between us and she's just sitting their staring at me in silence with disgust.
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I just spit water all over my keyboard. lmao
Some of the funniest shit ever posted on this forum. :lol:
 
Beansly

Beansly

RIU Bulldog

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Second-hand Doll Kit
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I dont think he's joking....
 
bicycleday

bicycleday

Active Member
beardo said:
This guy I know picked up a sex doll off of craigs list. The good ones are really expensive and sometimes you can get a good deal on a used one. So it's Tuesday night having a couple of drinks and decide to try it, start getting in the mood and it's a special occasion the first time and it's going to be special was going to use Vicks vapor rub to get in the mood, it gives a warm sensation but the vicks was pretty much gone so tried icy hot and at first it was good but then started burning more and more and couldn't even finish. It just ended up awkward and dissapointing and i'm not even sure if I want to do it with her again now things are just weird between us and she's just sitting their staring at me in silence with disgust.
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So here I was on a lazy sunday morning thinking this was another weird titled thread so you could spam some more film clips and then BOOM!
I was taking a rip as this page loaded. Asshole! I coughed for like 5mins...
Hate it when they give you the cold shoulder...

This is almost sig worthy

It just ended up awkward and dissapointing and i'm not even sure if I want to do it with her again now things are just weird between us and she's just sitting their staring at me in silence with disgust.
Click to expand...
 
ohmy

ohmy

Well-Known Member
bicycleday said:
So here I was on a lazy sunday morning thinking this was another weird titled thread so you could spam some more film clips and then BOOM!
I was taking a rip as this page loaded. Asshole! I coughed for like 5mins...
Hate it when they give you the cold shoulder...

This is almost sig worthy
Click to expand...
lmao ....Take it
 
2fast92

2fast92

Well-Known Member
Why would you even think about using Icy Hot? I got that on my balls once on accident and it was NOT fun.
 
fssalaska

fssalaska

Well-Known Member
Ok, so you have your jar of Icy Hot, and you think....damn this stuff is soothing. You also have your penis, to which you also think...damn this stuff is soothing. Being the genius mathematician that you are, you put 1 and 1 together and hatch this great idea. So you slather it on and begin your wrist exercises. It tingles. Its cool. It burns like all hell.
After finishing the dirty work, your penis feels supersensitive to the point of pain. The active ingredients in Icy Hot is Methyl Salicylate and Menthol, which causes an inability to lose your erection. So now you have a rock hard painful erection, which is now turning blue and purple because of the chemicals that you decided to play with.
Once again, being one who thinks with their brain, you decide to wash it off with a nice hot shower. Jumping into the steam, you now have a new understanding of pleasure vs. pain. Although you eventually washed it off, it was not without periods of jumping out of the tub for fear that your penis was on fire.
For the rest of the day you are condemned to walk around with a bright, glowing red, and semi-erect penis. Maybe next time you'll remember that masturbating with Icy Hot is a bad idea.
 
ohmy

ohmy

Well-Known Member
what are you going to do when s sick fuck comes over your house when you are not home and has sex with your doll. you find doll full of jizzz
 
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