Pix That Make You LOL-Warning-SNWS

PetFlora

PetFlora

Well-Known Member
herbose said:
This guy's sitting in a bar talking to a stranger, he says "Took my wife out to fancy restaurant last night and everyone kept staring at us and staring at us. I know we seem like an odd couple, I'm 52 and she's only 20, but they kept staring and staring. Completely ruined our tenth anniversary."
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TRUE STORY: 30 some years ago (I was 35, but looked younger) my girl friend was 20; she looked 15. We went to a James Taylor concert. The volunteer taking tickets was an old man. As he took out ticket he said to me "You and your daughter have a nice time"
 
ohmy

ohmy

Well-Known Member
[video=youtube;3fBptQw65RQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=3fBptQw65RQ[/video]
 
herbose

herbose

Well-Known Member
I miss George Carlin, he is one of my all time favorite comics. Few people know that he was a standard standup comic until he started smoking weed in the sixties (about the same time as me.....interesting coincidence). He re-invented himself as the "Hippie Dippie Weatherman" and performed on "The Smother's Brothers Show" and other topically progressive comedy shows of the time. "Tomorrows high?......as soon as I wake up." If you don't know what "Toure de Force" means look it up in the dictionary......"Anything like George Carlin's MODERN MAN." If you've seen this watch it again, it never gets old. If you've never seen it......buckle your seat belts. You gotta see this. Here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNtRO3IrGg4
 
herbose

herbose

Well-Known Member
A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen." "That's a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?" "No," she replied. As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most - cars and men. Therefore I chose "Carmen". "What's your name?" she asked. He answered "B.J. Titsengolf."
 
herbose

herbose

Well-Known Member
[FONT=Verdana, Arial]A guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, you've got to help me. My penis is orange." Doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his pants so he can check. Damned if the guy's penis isn't orange. Doc tells the guy, "This is very strange. Sometimes things like this are caused by a lot of stress in a person's life."

Probing as to the causes of possible stress, the doc asks the guy, "How are things going at work?" The guy responds that he was fired about six weeks ago. The doctor tells him that this must be the cause of the stress. Guy responds, "No. The boss was a real asshole, I had to work 20-30 hours of overtime every week and I had no say in anything that was happening. I found a new job a couple of weeks ago where I can set my own hours, I'm getting paid double what I got on the old job and the boss is a really great guy." So the doc figures this isn't the reason.

He asks the guy, "How's your home life?" The guy says, "Well, I got divorced about eight months ago." The doc figures that this has got to be the reason for all of the guys stress. Guy says, "No. For years, all I listened to was nag, nag, nag. God, am I glad to be rid of that old bitch." So the doc takes a few minutes to think a little longer.

He inquires, "Do you have any hobbies or a social life?" The guy replies, "No, not really. Most nights I sit home, watch some porno flicks and munch on Cheetos."[/FONT]
 
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