Dizzle Frost
Well-Known Member
You can wipe your ass with a dollar...but can you use 3 quarters 2 dimes and a nickle?
Let The Battle Begin.
- Thread starter cannabineer
- Start date
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
Is a large cat with an extra chromosome officially a Leotard? cn
I like it.
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
You know how they say a good politician stays bought? If one doesn't, can one legally foreclose? cn
ONEeyedWILLY444
Well-Known Member
Maybe take a stool hardener and a laxative
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
I have GOT to try that shit ... cn
RavenMochi
Well-Known Member
tell me how that works out for you...
gopherbuddah
Well-Known Member
Why does Burger King advertise braile and picture menus at the drive through?
ONEeyedWILLY444
Well-Known Member
Definition of irony = DO NOT TOUCH written in braille
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
lol ... once I came real close to commissioning a custom .45 whose slide would have Braille on it.
BAD GUY ==>
cn
BAD GUY ==>
cn
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
So I was thinking ...
...but I caught myself and stopped. cn
...but I caught myself and stopped. cn
zer0ed
Active Member
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards as it is forwards?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
If a black box in a plane is indestructible, why can't they make the whole plane out of it?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell 'mnemonic'?
If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
Why is there an expiry date on my sour cream container?
Why call it a building if it's already been built?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Does 'virgin wool' come from sheep the shepherd hasn't caught yet?
If the front of your car says 'DODGE', do you really need a horn?
What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?
When you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Do blind Eskimos heave seeing-eye sled dogs?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
Why call it "take" a dump, when you leave something behind?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Why do we call it a hot water heater if the water is already hot?
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Is there another word for thesaurus?
Is the color orange called that because it's the color of the fruit of the same name, or was the fruit called orange because that's its color? Which came first, the color or the fruit?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
How can there be self-help "groups"?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Why is a pear called a pear when there is only one?
What do they pack Styrofoam in?
Why did God give men nipples?
Is grass really greener on the other side?
Do boxer shorts box?
Why do you wear a pair of panties and only one bra?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
Why is it called a "near miss" when you don't hit something?
When sign makers go on strike, is there anything written on their signs?
Before the light bulb was invented, what appeared over peoples heads when they had an idea?
If you spin an Oriental person around and around, does he become disorientated?
If a vegetable goes into a coma, is it called a person?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Why does the word monosyllabic contain five syllables?
If you wear an antennae to a wedding, would the reception be better?
Why is abbreviated such a long word?
If you put a chameleon in a mirrored box what color would it change to?
Why do people point to their wrist when they want to know the time? Do I point to my crotch when I want to know where the bathroom is?
Why is there an 's' in lisp?
If you were scared half to death twice, would you be 3/4 dead or 100% dead?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest end up drowning as well?
What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
If you asked a librarian where the books on self help were would they tell you, or would that defeat the purpose?
If ATM stands for Automatic Teller Machine, why do we call it an ATM machine? And if PIN stands for Personal Identification Number, why do we call it a PIN number?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards as it is forwards?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
If a black box in a plane is indestructible, why can't they make the whole plane out of it?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell 'mnemonic'?
If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
Why is there an expiry date on my sour cream container?
Why call it a building if it's already been built?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Does 'virgin wool' come from sheep the shepherd hasn't caught yet?
If the front of your car says 'DODGE', do you really need a horn?
What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?
When you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Do blind Eskimos heave seeing-eye sled dogs?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
Why call it "take" a dump, when you leave something behind?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Why do we call it a hot water heater if the water is already hot?
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Is there another word for thesaurus?
Is the color orange called that because it's the color of the fruit of the same name, or was the fruit called orange because that's its color? Which came first, the color or the fruit?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
How can there be self-help "groups"?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Why is a pear called a pear when there is only one?
What do they pack Styrofoam in?
Why did God give men nipples?
Is grass really greener on the other side?
Do boxer shorts box?
Why do you wear a pair of panties and only one bra?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
Why is it called a "near miss" when you don't hit something?
When sign makers go on strike, is there anything written on their signs?
Before the light bulb was invented, what appeared over peoples heads when they had an idea?
If you spin an Oriental person around and around, does he become disorientated?
If a vegetable goes into a coma, is it called a person?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Why does the word monosyllabic contain five syllables?
If you wear an antennae to a wedding, would the reception be better?
Why is abbreviated such a long word?
If you put a chameleon in a mirrored box what color would it change to?
Why do people point to their wrist when they want to know the time? Do I point to my crotch when I want to know where the bathroom is?
Why is there an 's' in lisp?
If you were scared half to death twice, would you be 3/4 dead or 100% dead?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest end up drowning as well?
What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
If you asked a librarian where the books on self help were would they tell you, or would that defeat the purpose?
If ATM stands for Automatic Teller Machine, why do we call it an ATM machine? And if PIN stands for Personal Identification Number, why do we call it a PIN number?
zer0ed
Active Member
Why is it called "rush hour" when your car barely moves?
If a 7-Eleven is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If it's a circular drive, how do you get out?
How do "Don't Walk on the Grass" signs get there?
Why does sour cream have a "use by" date?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
If we find life on Mars, will it taste like chicken?
When a bug hits your windshield, what determines the color of the spatter?
If it was only a three hour tour, why did Gilligan, the Skipper and everyone else, have all that stuff?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station . . .
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
Should you ever have plastic surgery from a doctor whose office is full of portraits by Picasso?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
Can you yell "Movie!" in a crowded fire station?
What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
If a 7-Eleven is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If it's a circular drive, how do you get out?
How do "Don't Walk on the Grass" signs get there?
Why does sour cream have a "use by" date?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
If we find life on Mars, will it taste like chicken?
When a bug hits your windshield, what determines the color of the spatter?
If it was only a three hour tour, why did Gilligan, the Skipper and everyone else, have all that stuff?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station . . .
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
Should you ever have plastic surgery from a doctor whose office is full of portraits by Picasso?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
Can you yell "Movie!" in a crowded fire station?
What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
Do bad cats go to doggie heaven? cn
GarvinStomp
Member
You could try pulling a David Letterman: drop a case of regular beer and a case of light beer off the top of a building at the same time; see what lands first 
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
I'd rather do a Stern:You could try pulling a David Letterman: drop a case of regular beer and a case of light beer off the top of a building at the same time; see what lands first
try that with a prosthetic arm and a Fleshlight. cn