okay. this is me venting some shit so bare with me :/ ... all of the time i just want to be high. its to the point where if im not high then i am looking to get high or i am doing anything to get high. i wouldn't say im addicted because i have had to go long periods of time without weed (2-4 months) and i can be just fine. its just that im always so depressed unless im high. like not "oh i want to kill myself" depressed. but more "what am i even trying for? i have no friends, no job and i feel so useless" depressed. i know i can do a lot of things to fix this but it almost seems like i dont want to. like im comfortable at this level. and anytime people ask me to do things i just blow them off and sit in my room alone. why? there is one girl that makes me happy anytime i am with her. and i mean completely happy. but she lives kinda far and i have no car. so its like im either depressed, high or with her. is this something anyone else is going through? is smoking weed making things worse or am i just imagining things? please help me if at all possible. im so trapped and alone and i dont want this to be my normal anymore. i want to have friends and do things like a normal 18 year old should. #torn :/
First of all, relax. Take a deep breath. We're in a recession. Times are hard. It's perfectly normal to feel the way you do. It's scary out there in the big world. Any sane person would want to detach themselves from all the shit going on. The only problem I see is that you're using Cannabis to self-medicate. You're using it as a crutch. It's not a physical addiction. It's an emotional one. You need to understand that medicating isn't a solution. It's a tool to help you cope with shit while you're trying to find the solution.
Second, get outside. Get in the sunlight and fresh air. Your body needs it. It will help your body with your seratonin production. If you're not exercising, then start. Your body produces endorphins that help with depression. Plus you'll have the mental satisfaction of accomplishing something. If you truly want things to change then you'll have to put some effort into it.
Third. Set up a sleep schedule. Don't stay up until dawn and then sleep all day. You're fucking with your inner clock and that can throw off your body's equilibrium and exacerbate your depression. If you have to stay up 24 hours to get back on schedule, then do it.
Fourth. (if you can) eat healthy foods that give you energy. Proteins, complex carbohydrates, fruits, vegetables. Stay away from simple carbs. Junk food should be avoided as much as possible. If the depression persists then seek professional help if you can.
Fifth. Cut back on your Cannabis consumption and avoid alcohol as much as you can. It too can fuck with your depression.
Lastly. This too shall pass. It's not the end of the world. You're going through a rough patch. They don't last forever. Keep that in mind. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Always remember, it can't last. You will feel better. It's only a matter of time and effort.
Anyway, that's my two cents.
