Ooh, ouch dude. I used to have IBS with constipation. It's a problem because of improper diet, stemming from intolerance to animal products. It got so bad with me I was shitting blood regularly.
Why is it you think those who've been members of this site for a longer time are more prone to have IBS?
Torturing animals is a sign of the criminally insane. So stop projecting your fantasies upon me. You're not fooling anyone.
I really hope, for your wife's sake, you're sitting on the toilet while reading this. If I created more work for your wife cleaning those pants again, it'd make me feel responsible.