You're Going To Hell!!!

[tckfui]

had to break my bible out for this one.
I've read the bible at least twice, I recomend reading it its a great book, though it can be incredibly boring for 500 pages straight at times
I'll sae you the time of quoting it ( or save me the time rather ) and post links to these sections, if I cant find some
we will be looking at luke 10 ; 25 Luke 18; 18 and Luke 14 ; 25
I'll give you the simplified version in my own words or you can read the link but the links are kind of long

Luke 10;25 The Good Samaritan - Luke, Famous Bible Parables, Famous Bible Stories Passages
Luke 18; 18 BibleGateway.com - Passage*Lookup: Luke 18:18-30
Luke 14; 25 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke 14;25-33;&version=31; (all the way down under the cost of being a disciple)

so what Jesus is saying is that in order to enter into the kingdom of heaven you must follow the 10 commandments, IE honor your parents, love everyone, and all that good stuff about coveting and vein, and killing and whatnot. but than he switches it up on you in luke 18; 22 jesus says that " ... SELL ALL THAT YOU HAVE AND DISTRIBUTE IT TO THE POOR!!!!!!" sell everything I dont like that and I'm certainly not selling my pot so I guess I'm going to hell
than he goes on to say, or should I say previously (screwy book!) in LUKE 14;25 jesus says you need to hate everyone!!! including yourself! and your children and your life as awhole, cannot be a desciple of jesus and theirfore can never make it into the kingdom of heaven!!! NEVER!

this is just the tip of the crazy iceberg, jesus says you need to do a number of ridiculosue and imposible feats inorder to get into heaven. such as acting like a child, and he mentions giving away all your belonging several times, and he also says that we need to follow mitzva which are like 4 or 500 crazy ass laws about the proper way to sacrafise animals, and the proper way to trade livestock and what to do if your neighbors cow walks on your grass and eats some of it. and yes there is an actual law in the bible about your cows eating your neighbors grass, and stranger et you need to live by this law to enter into the kingdom of heaven!

 

[UndercoverGrower]

To Hell with Hell then just keep on tokin

 

[Stoney McFried]

I'm not a Christian so I don't have to listen!

 

[tckfui]

NOO ITS NOT FAIR ITS NOT FAIR!!!!!! your supposed to have to listen, hes the son of god for christs sake oops did I just break a comandment I'm really screwed.
yea I say the hell with hell, its bullshit, and even if its not, I highly doubt youl be sent their for letting your cow eat your neighbors grass, or for having a few worldly possesions
I went to chatholic school for um well only 2 years, they didnt like me much, and they believed this stuff to a T it was pretty funny my religiouse teacher used to get pissed if I mentioned evolution, she didnt like the thought of being related to monkeys much

 

[Skate Hawaii]

all god wants is your heart. gods forgiveness is so strong and so abundant, that our minds were not even created to understand. jesus says that if you except him as your true savior of dieing for your sins, than you will go to heaven, thats it. thats how forgiving and how loving he is.

there are laws that which we should go by, but god understands the temptations and hard times we all have to go through, so he is so compassionate and understanding that in the end, all he wants is your heart, not the will of doing something good for yourself.

 

[Stoney McFried]

If theres someone up there, I kinda think he scattered us like grains of sand across his black velvet cloak and then walked away.....

 

[PurfectStorm]

NOO ITS NOT FAIR ITS NOT FAIR!!!!!! your supposed to have to listen, hes the son of god for christs sake oops did I just break a comandment I'm really screwed.
yea I say the hell with hell, its bullshit, and even if its not, I highly doubt youl be sent their for letting your cow eat your neighbors grass, or for having a few worldly possesions
I went to chatholic school for um well only 2 years, they didnt like me much, and they believed this stuff to a T it was pretty funny my religiouse teacher used to get pissed if I mentioned evolution, she didnt like the thought of being related to monkeys much

Haha Fuck Catholic Schools... I did my time there too... Hella funny to piss off the nuns.

I was always that one non-catholic kid in my religion class, the one kid that didn't lap up all their pro-life discussions.

 

[tckfui]

I think their may be a god, and I'm certain that if their is he or she or it dosnt care what religion you are, frankly I cant really even understand why God would care about us sinning.
my catholic school was weird man, there were no nuns, only women who read a part of the bible once but there werent very many women teachers, and about 90% of the men teachers were retired cops, it was weird. and I dont think most of the kids were catholic, we had arab kids, and chinese kids, and we had a few jews ( even though its not a nationailty they like to think it is for some reason?)

And I dont get it, if jesus died so we can go to heaven, doesnt that mean that his preachings to peoples then were futile? well not for thoes who died after them but surly he must have preached to thoes who died before him, wait a second what am I saying?! he never existed.
and I dont get it if catholics think jesus alowed them to go to heaven does that mean that jewish people ( since their masia has not yet come, or at least come back from the dead though hes been dead for over 7 yeats) can't go to heaven?! I dont get it.
I asked a rabi once what he thought of dinosours ( since they think the earth is only 7,000 years old or somthing), he told me that they were put here by god to test out faith.

 

[GuNjAhLoRd]

I thinks all a hoax. the catholic church made people believe in Jesus for money thats all they are one of the richest companies in the world and they dont even have to sell shit

 

[Lacy]

Religion is Man's interpretation of what HE thinks is what god wants.

I personally think the bible is the biggest load of **** however I am a HUGE believer of GOD...just not one that roams the heavens and the earths and judges us.

Thats just insane. Of course man screwed it up when he wrote the bible. Thats because we aren't gods we are humans.

As human we wqill ALWAYS try and explain the unexplained

 

[Lacy]

Sorry tcki but you can't take the bible as the gospel truth.
Its an interpretation.


You are gonna drive yourself nuts buddy.

The bible has so many contradictions in it that it is enough to drive the most meek insane.

I think their may be a god, and I'm certain that if their is he or she or it dosnt care what religion you are, frankly I cant really even understand why God would care about us sinning.
my catholic school was weird man, there were no nuns, only women who read a part of the bible once but there werent very many women teachers, and about 90% of the men teachers were retired cops, it was weird. and I dont think most of the kids were catholic, we had arab kids, and chinese kids, and we had a few jews ( even though its not a nationailty they like to think it is for some reason?)

And I dont get it, if jesus died so we can go to heaven, doesnt that mean that his preachings to peoples then were futile? well not for thoes who died after them but surly he must have preached to thoes who died before him, wait a second what am I saying?! he never existed.
and I dont get it if catholics think jesus alowed them to go to heaven does that mean that jewish people ( since their masia has not yet come, or at least come back from the dead though hes been dead for over 7 yeats) can't go to heaven?! I dont get it.
I asked a rabi once what he thought of dinosours ( since they think the earth is only 7,000 years old or somthing), he told me that they were put here by god to test out faith.

 

[korvette1977]

Does hell have any laws about growing ? cause I'd like to bring a few plants with me

 

[Lacy]

Yep. They have laws there about growing.

Well there is really only rule concerning growing weed and it is this:


Shagweed growing will not be permitted.


















Don't be tryin' to grow no skanky assed weed here,,.....


bwahhhhh.................... lol...

Does hell have any laws about growing ? cause I'd like to bring a few plants with me

 

[blackcoupe01]

Religion is Man's interpretation of what HE thinks is what god wants.

I personally think the bible is the biggest load of **** however I am a HUGE believer of GOD...just not one that roams the heavens and the earths and judges us.

Thats just insane. Of course man screwed it up when he wrote the bible. Thats because we aren't gods we are humans.

As human we wqill ALWAYS try and explain the unexplained

I like your point of view

 

[Lacy]

thank you

I like your point of view

 

[wackymack]

have u ever wondered if "god" is just refered to an alien bc there is evedence in the bible and its something like this,behold beams of light,a gray shadow appeared to me its like from luke or mark.cus the caveman would paint pics on there walls and stuff.

when the universe was created(who really knows) there was not earth that contained life,other planets and gallaxys had to contain life as well,intelligent life too.we are a pebble among an ocean of life.we are now finding out that theres life on mars so what does that tell ya? 2+2 doesnt equal 3 or 5 it equals 4 no matter what,so in kindsight u could automaticly assume that we are not alone.

 

[bongspit]

NOO ITS NOT FAIR ITS NOT FAIR!!!!!! your supposed to have to listen, hes the son of god for christs sake oops did I just break a comandment I'm really screwed.
yea I say the hell with hell, its bullshit, and even if its not, I highly doubt youl be sent their for letting your cow eat your neighbors grass, or for having a few worldly possesions
I went to chatholic school for um well only 2 years, they didnt like me much, and they believed this stuff to a T it was pretty funny my religiouse teacher used to get pissed if I mentioned evolution, she didnt like the thought of being related to monkeys much

what if you ate your neighbors cow and smoked his grass??? would that count??
christians are a funny lot....

 

[fdd2blk]

god hates women ......... The Dark Bible: Women's Inferior Status

SAB, Women

 

[bongspit]

I thought god was a woman....YouTube - Dishwalla - Counting Blue Cars

 

[tckfui]

yup yup the good old bible, full of racism, sexism and just pure stupidity.
I totaly get what your saying lacy and the church is always stressing to us that you cant take the bible literally, and I get that, alot of it is nutso stuff that makes no sence if you take it literally. but I mean jesus does state clearly at least 2 times that I can recal that you must sell everything you have, I dont know how else to interpret that other than, sell yo shit foo!!!!
I can understand that jesus says that in order to go to heaven you need to be born again, thats a simple analagy I guess we can call it, I can halfway understand that he wants us to be as children, but sell my stuff?! I cant even interpret that to mean sell some of your stuff let alone somthing else alltogether.
I dont think your allowed to eat your neighbors cow, I think thats one of the first rules!!!!!!!!! they neglect to mention what to do if your neighbors grass ends up in your spliff though, so I guess thats all good.

another thing in the bible that always got to me, and this was a part our teachers told us was to be taken literally, is that people were living to be 800 years old, having kids at over 100, and then god making it so we cant live past 120. which people have been older than 120 so I guess god screwed that up too.
but anyway, my argument with my religiouse teacher was that people have a hard time keeping their teath for 40 years, let alone 800!!! its just imposible to keep your teath for that long especialy 3000 years before jesus, when they didnt even think of dental hygiene. I just dont get it.
the church up until the last 20 years or so used to discourage people against reading the bible, they thought that the people were too simple minded (or smart ) to understand the bible silly pope!
I was reading somthing about our new pope being the anti christ it was pretty interesting, he fufils like 10 of the 14 prophsies in revolations. which is a crazy ass fucking part of the bible that seems more at home in a speilberg movie rather than a book of worship.