Family - how far have you gone ?

[GreatwhiteNorth]

So I have a situation developing that will probably require intervention and personal sacrifice.
Before I divulge specifics, I would much appreciate perspective on what some others here have "given up" willingly to help family.

 

[Ringsixty]

My son was addicted to Meth. We suffered with his thieving, lying etc. Paid for 3 separate drug rehab centers. Which he walked out on all. Paid all his Lawyer fees and restitution's. $$$$$
Finally, we just had to let him go. Soon after the Law caught up and locked him away for 5 years.
"Best thing that ever happened to him".
After serving his time. We took him in for 5 years during his probation time.
Were he has remained clean of all drugs.
Now he is on his own and i wish him the best. But, that trust is forever shattered.

 

[Steelheader3430]

I put myself in Schick Shadels recovery hospital for alcoholism. I drank til I passed out every day for over 7 years. Spent 3 days in detox and 10 days of treatment and that was the end of my drinking. That was over 6 years ago and I have not had any desire to drink since! Sounds like a line of bullshit I know but it's the truth. It makes as much sense to me as drinking drano. But before I couldn't even go one day without. They also cover all sorts of drugs so if you want the best recovery results available anywhere on earth look them up. http://schickshadel.com/ If I can answer any questions don't hesitate to pm me. Good luck and hope this helps.

Steelheader

 

[neosapien]

My younger brother, I love him to death, but he's made me go out on the line for him many times in many different ways for many different things. I can't even begin to list all I've done for him. Money, drugs, girls. You name it, he does it to excess. Probably the biggest was taking the heat when he crashed my car awhile back. He was in the process of buying it from me. He'd been drinking and totaled it into a ditch and ran away. I called it in the next day and said I'd just done it, something about a deer.

Not sure if this is what you were looking for GWN but good luck with your situation pal.

 

[GreatwhiteNorth]

I appreciate the responses guys.
Last night one of our adult daughters dropped a bomb on us.
She is single and has given us two beautiful Grandsons - last night she informed us that she had given birth to a 3rd (2 months ago) & given him up for adoption that didn't work out (the prospective couple found out that they were pregnant).
Additionally, while in the hospital on baby issues they found her lungs riddled with tumors - they performed a biopsy today with results pending but my gut tells me they won't be good.

I told her on no terms would I bless my grandson being adopted by strangers - you never abandon family, ever !
I am too fucking old to tend to a 2 month old in addition to his young brothers should the worst happen.
We are at the end of our rope praying for a miracle.

Sorry for dumping this on my friends,
Damn !!

 

[chewberto]

GWN, I am sorry to hear that, Stay optimistic! I hope you find a sound solution to all of this. Who else would care for these children if not you, should the worst case scenario happen?

 

[neosapien]

Holy hell man. Thoughts and prayers your way, hoping everything works out for the best.

 

[GreatwhiteNorth]

Holy hell man. Thoughts and prayers your way, hoping everything works out for the best.

Neo - I truly thank you for your input.

GWN, I am sorry to hear that, Stay optimistic! I hope you find a sound solution to all of this. Who else would care for these children if not you, should the worst case scenario happen?

You're right - there is no other option, I refuse to allow my grandchildren to be sprinkled about the country with strangers willy-nilly.

 

[sunni]

can i ask how the heck you didnt notice she was pregnant? do you not live near eachother?

 

[sunni]

plenty of adoption families are wonderful people unable to be with blessed with children, i dont know what its like in the usa but in canada to adopt a child you need to have a pretty fucking perfect life. generally only people who pull in 100,00$ + a year can adopt.

there are a few questions before i give any advice
is there something going on in your daughters life you are not aware of at the moment? depression ect?
how old is she
and how is she financially

 

[curious2garden]

I appreciate the responses guys.
Last night one of our adult daughters dropped a bomb on us.
She is single and has given us two beautiful Grandsons - last night she informed us that she had given birth to a 3rd (2 months ago) & given him up for adoption that didn't work out (the prospective couple found out that they were pregnant).
Additionally, while in the hospital on baby issues they found her lungs riddled with tumors - they performed a biopsy today with results pending but my gut tells me they won't be good.

I told her on no terms would I bless my grandson being adopted by strangers - you never abandon family, ever !
I am too fucking old to tend to a 2 month old in addition to his young brothers should the worst happen.
We are at the end of our rope praying for a miracle.

Sorry for dumping this on my friends,
Damn !!

I liked it to let you know I read it and was concerned for you. I do NOT like your post. I am so very sorry.

 

[chewberto]

Neo - I truly thank you for your input.



You're right - there is no other option, I refuse to allow my grandchildren to be sprinkled about the country with strangers willy-nilly.

I couldn't either! The sacrifice you make is going to mean so much to those children one day! They are going to need plenty of love from family if something tragic arises from this! Many blessings to you. Good luck

 

[BygonEra]

I appreciate the responses guys.
Last night one of our adult daughters dropped a bomb on us.
She is single and has given us two beautiful Grandsons - last night she informed us that she had given birth to a 3rd (2 months ago) & given him up for adoption that didn't work out (the prospective couple found out that they were pregnant).
Additionally, while in the hospital on baby issues they found her lungs riddled with tumors - they performed a biopsy today with results pending but my gut tells me they won't be good.

I told her on no terms would I bless my grandson being adopted by strangers - you never abandon family, ever !
I am too fucking old to tend to a 2 month old in addition to his young brothers should the worst happen.
We are at the end of our rope praying for a miracle.

Sorry for dumping this on my friends,
Damn !!

That is insane! Wishing you, your daughter, and your grand daughter the absolute best GWN. Such a stressful situation for everyone involved.

 

[GreatwhiteNorth]

can i ask how the heck you didnt notice she was pregnant? do you not live near eachother?

We live quite a few thousand miles apart and she chose to conceal it from us. I am not judgmental (that's way above my paygrade) but can only surmise she was bummed to have yet a 3rd son with no active father - but it's her cross to bear.

plenty of adoption families are wonderful people unable to be with blessed with children, i dont know what its like in the usa but in canada to adopt a child you need to have a pretty fucking perfect life. generally only people who pull in 100,00$ + a year can adopt.

there are a few questions before i give any advice
is there something going on in your daughters life you are not aware of at the moment? depression ect?
how old is she
and how is she financially

She's been working toward her nurses license and is very early 30's (ish).
As far as financial - we've bought her a couple of cars, paid for apartment rental etc...
Not a great track record on her part, but I honestly love her to death.

 

[sunni]

well i see it a few ways if youre reall ynot willing to her adopt youll have to help out for the sake of the child

 

[eye exaggerate]

That is a lot to take. I hope this turns out ok for you all. This image I'm posting isn't in bad taste. I just read it not long ago, felt that it fit here.

 

[GreatwhiteNorth]

View attachment 2838755

Of course you and the oracle are right.
The pic says it all and hits very close to home.

 

[shrxhky420]

Wow that's pretty intense... I hope for the best for all of you. Just know, the challenge is before you because you can.
You've always got support from RIU
SH420

 

[lahadaextranjera]

I know a secret pregnancy that resulted in a divide of a family. More on religious grounds though. My friends Hindu cousin was 8 mths pregnant and living in the same house. Her boyfriend was Muslim and she told them at the last minute, had the baby, called it Mohammed and converted to his religion. That was the end of that really. It was a huge slap in the face that she converted and off she went.

She obviously had a decision she had to make though. She had to choose. That appears to be the difference tbh.

 

[Winter Woman]

I appreciate the responses guys.
Last night one of our adult daughters dropped a bomb on us.
She is single and has given us two beautiful Grandsons - last night she informed us that she had given birth to a 3rd (2 months ago) & given him up for adoption that didn't work out (the prospective couple found out that they were pregnant).
Additionally, while in the hospital on baby issues they found her lungs riddled with tumors - they performed a biopsy today with results pending but my gut tells me they won't be good.

I told her on no terms would I bless my grandson being adopted by strangers - you never abandon family, ever !
I am too fucking old to tend to a 2 month old in addition to his young brothers should the worst happen.
We are at the end of our rope praying for a miracle.

Sorry for dumping this on my friends,
Damn !!

GWN, I can understand your opinion of adoption. I once had that attitude too. Then my brother found out that he and his wife will never have blood children. They adopted a little baby boy that had epilepsy, ADHD, plus other learning disabilities. They gave him everything that they could think of: a private school for 'special children' (the absolute best thing for him) to help them survive in the world, special doctors, etc. He wanted for nothing.

They loved him as if he was their actual blood, I loved him unconditionally. I couldn't imagine our life without him. He passed away from a grand Mal-seizure at work at the age of 21.

Adoption might hurt your heart but in the end it might be the best thing that ever happens to that child. An open adoption might be the answer for you.

Much love and peace,
WW