Advice on hiding my shit?

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You can’t rely on that though. One could easily say “he forced me to do this, I couldn’t say no, I didn’t agree, he threatened me……”. If they could keep a straight face, it lines up with the “he was angry and throwing things” and they can even stretch it to “I felt I had to leave for my safety”. People lie to save their asses all the time, and also lie to screw people over when they’re mad enough and/or not thinking logically.

This wouldn’t even be in the top 5 most vindictive things that I’ve heard happen. People can be fucking nuts. Protect yourself, always. Hide your shit, play it cool, wait it out. Start up again once you’ve cut them and their drama out of your life.
 
MissinThe90’sStrains said:
https://www.rollitup.org/t/the-fridge-cut-method.1082015/ Check this thread out OP. There are others too. It’s legit
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Thanks for sharing this guide!

Some other updates... I went to the store and grabbed a new lockset. Also, ex-gf locked me out of our shared cellular plan and I'm not able to access it to change my number over to my own plan. I guess I might be changing my number too? I still have yet to take some cuttings and clean out my tent.
 
She is coming by tomorrow at 8am with someone, I think her parents and or brother. But she basically didn't respond to the comment about cops, so I assume they will show up. Some other mutual friends of ours will be showing up to help make sure things go smoothly. Just fucking sucks. I wish I had something to smoke.
 
It feels like something a little deeper went on than an argument. What reason would she have to rat you out?

I can see if you cheated on her or did something super shitty. But an argument isn't usually something that causes snitching or needing backup just to stop by.
 
bluegill said:
She is coming by tomorrow at 8am with someone, I think her parents and or brother. But she basically didn't respond to the comment about cops, so I assume they will show up. Some other mutual friends of ours will be showing up to help make sure things go smoothly. Just fucking sucks. I wish I had something to smoke.
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Sorry things aren't going well man.
 
Is that not complicity? I mean she don't just get her hands washed because you guys get in a fight and rats you out. She knew they had been there prior. The no response to the cops is like a power move knowing your scared due to the plants. Ruffles your feathers
 
LeoRavus said:
It feels like something a little deeper went on than an argument. What reason would she have to rat you out?

I can see if you cheated on her or did something super shitty. But an argument isn't usually something that causes snitching or needing backup just to stop by.
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Let me just put it this way. I have been lied to for 5 years about certain elements that make me question if I ever knew her at all. The last argument was just the straw that broke the camel's back, I guess. The fact that she escalated things this way when I was the one who was wronged cast her character in true colors. I have no reason to trust someone who would tell mutual friends of hers and mine that I threw stuff when I damn well know I didn't throw one single thing. Not only have I been gaslit, she is also gaslighting other people, IMO, because she feels like she needs to manipulate to get her way, or whatever. I am ready to stop psychoanalyzing all her fucked up decisions and focus on my own psyche. The more I evaluate this situation, I start to realize more how I have settled for less than what I deserve, and I can only imagine how exponentially worse things would be if marriage or children were involved, when I am bothered about just our pets being anxious. These are the behaviors of someone who puts herself first. She has essentially been deceitful for self-gain and selfish reasons.

So of course, it's incredibly difficult to summarize 5 years of relationship in an online post, particularly when the intent with posting was mostly just to cover my ass, in full acceptance that this relationship is over and I am already facing the heartache head on instead of the alternative she presented - taking a "break" which I know isn't real, during the inopportune time that she has breached my trust in a way where a simple impasse like ignoring my text shatters my ego. Dude, nobody in a 5 year relationship should feel this way. My entire world view has been shattered by all this.

I hope you don't take my reply at all the wrong way. I am still grieving and upset of course, naturally doing my best not to project this anger and sadness on other people. I am just trying to be as honest as possible. It's tough opening up about this even with strangers online. Typing the words means I have to accept it. I don't feel ready to end this but I do feel it's the right call. Thank you for questioning things though. It's important for me to scrutinize my point of view - not just validate it, considering healing and self-improvement are my goals.
 
I've been completely single for around 18 years now. It's horse shit like this that makes me think I made the right choice. Pretty much glad to be done with all the relationship nonsense.
 
Fangthane said:
I've been completely single for around 18 years now. It's horse shit like this that makes me think I made the right choice. Pretty much glad to be done with all the relationship nonsense.
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They've caused me nothing but heartache. But I am a hopeless romantic and I love being in love. Unfortunately, it always seems to come to an end. It's more so the permanence that doesn't exist that I desire. This is shit I like to think about when I'm deep in a bowl of weed. Like, why do I keep putting myself through this. I'm at an age where I've had multiple 3-4-5 year relationships, and even have been married. I don't think I will stop this trend until my heart is ripped out and I'm a bionic transhumanist cyborg or whatever.
 
bluegill said:
I don't think I will stop this trend until my heart is ripped out and I'm a bionic transhumanist cyborg or whatever.
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I've probably gotten too used to being alone, but it's not a bad idea to make it a point to avoid jumping into something else for a good long time. I'd always see my friends get out of one fucked up situation and just blithely jump right into another. I never really got that compulsion. I think a lot of people might benefit from an extended break from chain-dating. Some are just terrified of the very idea of being alone, so they never learn how to function without someone else. That's crazy to me. I used to be the hopeless romantic type, but I can hardly even begin to relate to that person anymore.

 
bluegill said:
They've caused me nothing but heartache. But I am a hopeless romantic and I love being in love. Unfortunately, it always seems to come to an end. It's more so the permanence that doesn't exist that I desire. This is shit I like to think about when I'm deep in a bowl of weed. Like, why do I keep putting myself through this. I'm at an age where I've had multiple 3-4-5 year relationships, and even have been married. I don't think I will stop this trend until my heart is ripped out and I'm a bionic transhumanist cyborg or whatever.
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Speaking as a (relatively) happily married man.
Marriage, and to a lesser extent even monogamy, is a failed institution. A successful practice would have a success rate over 50%. Even in the marriages that last (my own young one included) go though significant tribulations. I don't know of a single couple that didn't go though a significant period of infidelity, resentment or strife of some kind. Very recently I thought mine was over, we are reconciling. We activity choose stability over growth and experience. We are pack animals it's not far to anyone to be expected to fill so many roles for another. Our spouse is suppose to be our domestic, romantic, social, financial, and emotional partner and sole support. No one person can fill all those roles to another at all times forever. It's just not practical and causes excessive emotional strife. As men we seek the thrill of the hunt as humans we need to continue to develop new relationships and allow them to evolve change and even end in their organic manner. In many ways my wife has out grown me. We all grow and change with time in our own ways and in our own time. Love is an emotion and emotions are temporary states. We all deserve the right to fall in love again and again. Me and my wife are falling back in love again after a a period of our relationship being very trying. I'm sorry you are going though this and your ex is making it more difficult then it needs to be. But you will meet new people form new relationships fall in love again and again as you learn new things about the world society and yourself. It's better then stagnating. Perhaps you and ex have gotten all you could out of your cohabitation and maybe you will be able to forgive each other and form a new different relationship in the future that will have a big jump start on other new friendships. Once your heart has healed make a point of experiencing new environments meeting new people and trying new things, that is the path to personal growth and development. I hope you the best. Do what needs to be done so that new place is not a 8x10 cell(though i learned and grew plenty during my time in 1). There will be more plants to grow. More women to love and lessons to learn. No one here knows you from a hole in the ground we have nothing to gain from lying to you or seeing you suffer, we're happy to share our experiences and advise as best we know how. Maybe take some time to learn to prosper on your own learn what it is to just be bluegill free and unattached to the expectations of another.
 
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