Are you living with mental illness?

shortlove927

shortlove927

Member
Let’s Talk!
first of all my name is Sierra Sutherland, I’m 30 from California. I was born with a physical disability (Larsens Syndrome), which affects bones and joints. I use a wheelchair for long distances and more so over the years daily and hard of hearing. I have had over 20 surgeries growing up with more ahead including scoliosis and a c-section. In 2013, I gave birth to my son which was a surprise for my disability to be able togo as far as we did, but in 2014 my world crashed and ended up losing my son throughout the night of nov 4.
flash forward to 2021, I am now suffering with mental illness suicidal, depression, bipolar, anxiety and grief. I have questioned my parents why they chose to have me when they did, I don’t see why anyone wants me around being so upset with life. I feel like the biggest failure of a mom, friend, sister and daughter. I have messed up a couple of relationships due to my mental health, I push away the ones who try to love me. I am a very independent person, having another person makes it even harder to be happy, but I don’t want to be alone.
Anyways feel free to join in, ill update like a blog :)
-Sierra ❤
 
Hobbes

Hobbes

Well-Known Member
sdboltdude

sdboltdude

Well-Known Member
Hobbes said:
.

Hi Sierra

I'm diagnosed and successfully treated for Schizoaffective disorder - basically: Schizoaffective disorder is a mental disorder characterized by abnormal thought processes and an unstable mood.] The diagnosis is made when the person has symptoms of both schizophrenia (usually psychosis) and a mood disorder—either bipolar disorder or depression.

I suffered depression and mania every year until I got on the medication I need.

Sierra do you grow or consume cannabis?

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Click to expand...
My wife has same medical issues
She was against weed until she meet me
She has to take mood stabilizers & pills that help her sleep at night prob 6 different prescriptions a day
She has tried not to take her medication which it makes everything worse plus the time it takes the medication to start taking effect again which this couple days or more..

When she started smoking it really helped her with her anxiety and been able to calm with her mind not racing and not having the negative thoughts that will grow better than I can grow weed.....
She does like a good sativa
Just wanted to share my story with how smoking has helped my wife find a little peace
 
Hobbes

Hobbes

Well-Known Member
.

For me: Seraquil, Haloperidol, lithium, citalopram, clonoazapam, ritalin, razaperole, cannabis.

Amazingly it's the best I've felt in my life, no depressions, no mania, no weird thoughts. I went for 25 years of being misdiagnosed as simple depression, tragic.

.
 
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C. Nesbitt

C. Nesbitt

Well-Known Member
Chiming in here as a family member of a person diagnosed as autistic with schizophrenic tendencies. I won’t pretend to understand what having a mental illness is like but I certainly empathize as a sibling of someone with one.
My brother really does not like how most anti-psychotic medications make him feel, so he is not on them long term. He also drinks to excess, which interacts poorly with some meds.
He finds relief from cannabis, he’s told me that it relaxes him but doesn’t leave him feeling like he’s not himself.

Stay strong and know that you are not alone. Hopefully writing this down and updating is cathartic, but please also seek out help. Therapy - just having someone safe to talk to, really helps my brother deal with the deeper depths of frustration, anger and pain that he periodically experiences.
 
shortlove927

shortlove927

Member
Hobbes said:
.

Hi Sierra

I'm diagnosed and successfully treated for Schizoaffective disorder - basically: Schizoaffective disorder is a mental disorder characterized by abnormal thought processes and an unstable mood.] The diagnosis is made when the person has symptoms of both schizophrenia (usually psychosis) and a mood disorder—either bipolar disorder or depression.

I suffered depression and mania every year until I got on the medication I need.

Sierra do you grow or consume cannabis?

.
Click to expand...
I’m sorry, I should have mentioned what I have tried and am trying as far as medicinal help. I have tried prescription meds which I have veered away from for two reasons; first I was put on pain medication for my back and neck pain went thru a bad addiction for 3 years. I ended up quitting cold turkey, went to drinking almost a half gallon of vodka per day(give or take) for about a year to help ease the pain of everything. I quit drinking alcohol on my own choice and won’t pick that up again being scared to being hooked back on it. Secondly, I don’t take medication due to feeling so sleepy and groggy and not being able to be my uppity self and outgoing. So as of right now, i am using cannabis as a medical and non medical use & I wouldn’t want to choose anything not natural for my body. My tolerance level is extremely high due so I only use concentrates or smoke TOP shelf flower (indica).
 
shortlove927

shortlove927

Member
C. Nesbitt said:
Chiming in here as a family member of a person diagnosed as autistic with schizophrenic tendencies. I won’t pretend to understand what having a mental illness is like but I certainly empathize as a sibling of someone with one.
My brother really does not like how most anti-psychotic medications make him feel, so he is not on them long term. He also drinks to excess, which interacts poorly with some meds.
He finds relief from cannabis, he’s told me that it relaxes him but doesn’t leave him feeling like he’s not himself.

Stay strong and know that you are not alone. Hopefully writing this down and updating is cathartic, but please also seek out help. Therapy - just having someone safe to talk to, really helps my brother deal with the deeper depths of frustration, anger and pain that he periodically experiences.
Click to expand...
Thank you, I have tried therapy. It is very difficult for me to communicate with people close to me let alone a stranger.
 
Rozgreenburn

Rozgreenburn

Well-Known Member
Hey Sierra, I won't be a dick and say "just be happy". Cannabis keeps my depression in check, it keeps me from smacking the next person who says "just be happy" to me. I hope you can work through this and not let it eat you alive.
Most folks on RIU are decent folks, so if you need help, please ask. Depression is not, but should be considered a disease/ sickness. Medicate yourself however you must, that said, alcohol is the worst thing I've ever tried, addiction potential is higher than for those not affected by depression. Good luck, be well...
 
sdboltdude

sdboltdude

Well-Known Member
shortlove927 said:
I’m sorry, I should have mentioned what I have tried and am trying as far as medicinal help. I have tried prescription meds which I have veered away from for two reasons; first I was put on pain medication for my back and neck pain went thru a bad addiction for 3 years. I ended up quitting cold turkey, went to drinking almost a half gallon of vodka per day(give or take) for about a year to help ease the pain of everything. I quit drinking alcohol on my own choice and won’t pick that up again being scared to being hooked back on it. Secondly, I don’t take medication due to feeling so sleepy and groggy and not being able to be my uppity self and outgoing. So as of right now, i am using cannabis as a medical and non medical use & I wouldn’t want to choose anything not natural for my body. My tolerance level is extremely high due so I only use concentrates or smoke TOP shelf flower (indica).
Click to expand...
Wife has stopped smoking cigarettes and stop drinking her half bottle of vodka 2 vodka and meds do not mix or any alcohol for that matter
Her psychiatrist basically told her you have to take a pee test no alcohol no marijuana or anything or no meds...
Was cool about the smoking but she did pass the no alcohol and hasn't had a drop since good for her me I stopped drinking to
 
MICHI-CAN

MICHI-CAN

Well-Known Member
shortlove927 said:
Let’s Talk!
first of all my name is Sierra Sutherland, I’m 30 from California. I was born with a physical disability (Larsens Syndrome), which affects bones and joints. I use a wheelchair for long distances and more so over the years daily and hard of hearing. I have had over 20 surgeries growing up with more ahead including scoliosis and a c-section. In 2013, I gave birth to my son which was a surprise for my disability to be able togo as far as we did, but in 2014 my world crashed and ended up losing my son throughout the night of nov 4.
flash forward to 2021, I am now suffering with mental illness suicidal, depression, bipolar, anxiety and grief. I have questioned my parents why they chose to have me when they did, I don’t see why anyone wants me around being so upset with life. I feel like the biggest failure of a mom, friend, sister and daughter. I have messed up a couple of relationships due to my mental health, I push away the ones who try to love me. I am a very independent person, having another person makes it even harder to be happy, but I don’t want to be alone.
Anyways feel free to join in, ill update like a blog :)
-Sierra ❤
Click to expand...
I'll support your fight. And spare you my plight. Be you and prove the world wrong. Your masters degree wasn't from studying me. Rock on!
 
Max Ehrmann

Max Ehrmann

Well-Known Member
Dearest Sierra,
Hello. I'm Ron. Let me start by saying how incredibly brave you are for posting your realities. Your thread proves that you have not given up. You are reaching out and that means there is some semblance of...HOPE. Put that hope on a pedestal and concentrate on it regularly.

I was diagnosed with bi polar disorder in 1989. (Back then they called it manic depressive order.) I was 18 years old. I then proceeded to deny the fact that I was sick for fifteen years. I simply medicated myself. I went to prison three times, rehab dozens of times, and literally hundreds of psych ward stays. I'm a hard headed fool.

FINALLY in 2004 I hit rock bottom and decided to try medication and therapy. Back then it was horrible lithium and all its co parts. But it helped keep me stable. Through it all I grew my own marijuana and even got busted once back before it was cool...lol

Now I am on a super low dose of abilify and welbutran. And lots and lots of marijuana. Works for me. The abilify is to keep the psychotic manic episodes at bay, the welbutran is for the depression, and the marijuana is good for ...well...both and a plethora of other things. I use to help me sleep, I use it for depression, I use it for anxiety, appetite stimulant, pain relief.

I can go on and on. Marijuana is a healing life giving plant. I assume because you posted here on a pot site you probably know that. If not, it is. It has helped heal me and now I am a medical marijuana caregiver and am actively watching it heal others.

Having said all that, I should also say...marijuana is not cure all. It is part of my therapy. To be truly healthy we must treat the whole person. Physical, mental, and spiritual. All three need constant attention. I make sure I am active and eating right. I make sure I am on a regular sleep schedule.

And last but certainly not least. I pray. Yep I said it. I talk to God regularly. We have close personal relationship. This has been the single biggest game changer in my mental illness history and in life. I am no preacher and don't want to come off as so. I am an old stoner, hippy, freak. But this is what helps me deal. Perhaps it could help you as well? If you are having a hard time with things of the spirit and faith ask God to help. He is there patiently waiting for you to reach out. Try it.

O.k I will stop with the preachy stuff before I offend. But it really works for me.

Sister...I can tell from your post you are hurting. And you have every reason to do so. You have had some horrible things happen to you. You deserve to hurt. Embrace the suffering, then...move on.

Know that life is full of ups and downs. Ride it like a roller coaster with your arms held high. Learn to enjoy the downs just as much as the ups. This is the key to true happiness.

Its all about how we handle adversity. All we can really control is our own attitude. Look at the bright side. Here in Detroit we say, "Everyday above ground is a good day." Or, "You know your doin good when your still suckin air."

Find things to be grateful for. You have many. I am sending you positive vibes and affirmations! You are a beautiful child of God. I hope this finds you in good health and spirits. Keep you head up and remember...HOPE! Much Love. -Ron
 
sdboltdude

sdboltdude

Well-Known Member
shortlove927 said:
Let’s Talk!
first of all my name is Sierra Sutherland, I’m 30 from California. I was born with a physical disability (Larsens Syndrome), which affects bones and joints. I use a wheelchair for long distances and more so over the years daily and hard of hearing. I have had over 20 surgeries growing up with more ahead including scoliosis and a c-section. In 2013, I gave birth to my son which was a surprise for my disability to be able togo as far as we did, but in 2014 my world crashed and ended up losing my son throughout the night of nov 4.
flash forward to 2021, I am now suffering with mental illness suicidal, depression, bipolar, anxiety and grief. I have questioned my parents why they chose to have me when they did, I don’t see why anyone wants me around being so upset with life. I feel like the biggest failure of a mom, friend, sister and daughter. I have messed up a couple of relationships due to my mental health, I push away the ones who try to love me. I am a very independent person, having another person makes it even harder to be happy, but I don’t want to be alone.
Anyways feel free to join in, ill update like a blog :)
-Sierra ❤
Click to expand...
Your a strong women
Sending good vibes ...
 
K

Khigm

Member
My add is so bad it is crippling. I've been off meds since last year of college and marijuana is the only thing that helps. My mind walks in circles and I physically walk on circles when trying to start a task sometimes. The only thing I can always do is tend to my girls. Everything else is a daily struggle. It's like having a big wall in your brain. You wait for "perfect" times to do things because you think a perfect time exists if you just wait for it. And waiting can make things go into disrepair. It's hard. And not what people think ADD is.
 
shortlove927

shortlove927

Member
sdboltdude said:
Wife has stopped smoking cigarettes and stop drinking her half bottle of vodka 2 vodka and meds do not mix or any alcohol for that matter
Her psychiatrist basically told her you have to take a pee test no alcohol no marijuana or anything or no meds...
Was cool about the smoking but she did pass the no alcohol and hasn't had a drop since good for her me I stopped drinking to
Click to expand...
Only reason I picked up drinking addictively was because I got with a guy who is an alcoholic, but since February 2021 he has been sober from all alcohol! :) when you have an addictive personality while being around someone who is doing something you know can numb your pain your bound to get into it. Whether it may look like they are “enjoying” themselves or having fun it really isn’t like that reality they are legit living life on alcohol to get through the days. I do also smoke cigarettes but have cut back a ton!
 
shortlove927

shortlove927

Member
Herb & Suds said:
My experience has always reminded me my issues are always less than others but
I hope op seeks professional help and not weed solutions
We all need help just not able to see a misery loves company answer
Seek real help not internet bs
:oops:
Click to expand...
Of course I don’t use internet or other people as my way of help. I do use as tools for ways to vent my bottled up emotions.
 
shortlove927

shortlove927

Member
There has been so much more happen in my younger childhood as far being adopted and losing both of my adoptive grandparents within a couple years of each other. I’m learning life isn’t all cupcakes and roses and it’s sucks.
 
shortlove927

shortlove927

Member
Khigm said:
My add is so bad it is crippling. I've been off meds since last year of college and marijuana is the only thing that helps. My mind walks in circles and I physically walk on circles when trying to start a task sometimes. The only thing I can always do is tend to my girls. Everything else is a daily struggle. It's like having a big wall in your brain. You wait for "perfect" times to do things because you think a perfect time exists if you just wait for it. And waiting can make things go into disrepair. It's hard. And not what people think ADD is.
Click to expand...
I agree. I listen to all input and advice.
 
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