Best plane trip ever

Hi all

I hate flying. I hate the whole process of it, from booking the flights to landing. What i hate most is that im treated like a sardine in a tin and can never be confortable flying.

Today as i go in the plane to find my seat theres a guy even bigger than i am trying to make his legs fit on the seat next to mine. I could feel the impending doom.

I sat on my seat til after the plane took off and went to the toilet. Then something weird clicked in my head and i thought, nah this is my travelling cabin now. It was clean, smelled like freshner or something and it was spacious!

I practiced the illest face i could on the mirror and went to an air hostess and told her that i suffered from irritable bowl syndrome and i will most likely occupy the bathroom for a long while and to leave me alone with my illness.

The flight was only an hour and a half long, the hostesses came to check up on me twice i think and i just made loud fart noises with my mouth and hands for them to catch the drift. I went back to my seat close to landing time and that was it.

A heck of a lot of unconfortability avoided, id even say slightly luxurious, i just turned the tap on sometimes and had my own wee fountain. Fucking mint! If you hate flying for similar reasons and feel cheeky id advise you try it.

Best of Luck!

Lmao...That's crazy...

2 weeks ago,, the wife and me flew out of Philly to Orlando, 2 hr 30 min flight,, non stop. Well the moment we boarded, we were greeted by a screaming baby, around 6 months old. Screaming to the point of gagging, as we taxied out the plane stopped and the pilot said there was an electrical problem, we went back and sat,,,for nearly 2 1/2 hours, baby just screaming, we were 3 rows away, in front of this horror. We were to leave 1:30 pm, finally at 4:20, we took off. this baby never let up, I took 3 ativan's that put me in a semi stupor, but the screaming was there. I nearly went insane. This was a Saturday and our return trip back was the following Saturday, leaving Orlando 6:30 am in the morning. What are the chance's this baby would be returning???? I nearly FREAKED OUT, when I heard the screaming coming down the aisle. My eye ball's where sticking out of my Face! I said loudly, Noooooooo!!! I was going to refuse to fly back, some way, some how this baby from Hell stopped, I popped 2 ativan's and closed my eye's, just a few chirp's on the way back. whenever i see babie's, itt just freaks me out mentally now, and it's only been 2 weeks. Stuck in a tin can with a screaming baby, the Horror!!!

Next time give the kid the Ativan. Problem solved.

Lol dude you sat on the shitter for hours instead of sitting in the plane?

Or...when we went to cozumel this spring I munched down 3 "cookies" on our way to airport,fastest flight I've ever taken! We made it from mn to cozumel in 15 minutes I think....

Flight home took much longer...

Lol dude you sat on the shitter for hours instead of sitting in the plane?

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Yes man definetly and will probably start flying like that constantly. even though its called a shitter there was no shit in it an i was the very first passanger to go in it. It was my own private flight cabin, i took the in flight magazine and had music. fuck me even a fucking fountain man! I doubt i could have been more comfortable on a seat where my legs couldnt even fit and some big fucker was sitting right next to me.

Next time give the kid the Ativan. Problem solved.

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Legend!

KLITE said:

Yes man definetly and will probably start flying like that constantly. even though its called a shitter there was no shit in it an i was the very first passanger to go in it. It was my own private flight cabin, i took the in flight magazine and had music. fuck me even a fucking fountain man! I doubt i could have been more comfortable on a seat where my legs couldnt even fit and some big fucker was sitting right next to me.

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Lmao it's your call dude, but knowing that people, especially kids take craps in there and wipe their shitty fingers all over the walls and stuff... People are fucked up... Even worse than you hiding in the bathroom all flight...

I'm the opposite of you dude, I'd prefer to piss myself, let that shit run right down and warm my boots, then go in one of those airplane feces canisters.

I bet that fucker looks like a csi show with the proper testing.

They say people get sick on planes all the time because it harbors disease in that tin can but fuck, I don't think they've ever run tests on the shit room! They prob know better than that tho, they'd shut the fuckers down prob for having unknown plague shit going around.

Either way, I'm impressed by your fortitude. Stay strong. But get vaccinated for everything.

I'm the opposite of you dude, I'd prefer to piss myself, let that shit run right down and warm my boots, then go in one of those airplane feces canisters.

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AHAHAHA nice one man, to each his own. Ive no idea where you are based but ive never been in a plane toilet i didnt think hadnt been cleaned prior to the flight. I could smell bleachy undertones underneath the air freshener.

Still not fallen ill and i am not supposed to get vaccinated til 2020, though will let you know if and when i catch some plague.

I've had to fly on several occasions ...........don't really care for it
To afraid I'd end up like all those poor folks on that Malaysian airline
So if I can't drive to my destination........I don't need to be there
Man I sure hope my daughter changes her mind about an Hawaiian beach wedding !