Fitness guide I wrote

iconoclast said:
If anyone in here has wanted to get into shape but doesn't 't know where to start, here is a free fitness report that I think could help you.
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I got a fitness plan too:

- have sex like you're getting paid
- don't stop moving for more than 2 min at a time when you're awake
- if you ever see a swing set - stop what you're doing and SWING
- dance like it's your job - at every opportunity

You can't be chubby if you do those things.
 
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Here you go love sumat for you to skank to:

Op thanks for that, i had a skim and it reminds me of something i read yeeeeears ago by micheal leary i think hes name is. Its all about the full range moton exercises and keeping sessions short but very intense, i always train with kettlebell in intervals or complexes. I love complexes. Also agree with Yessica, skanking keeps you fit.
 
KLITE said:
Here you go love sumat for you to skank to:

Op thanks for that, i had a skim and it reminds me of something i read yeeeeears ago by micheal leary i think hes name is. Its all about the full range moton exercises and keeping sessions short but very intense, i always train with kettlebell in intervals or complexes. I love complexes. Also agree with Yessica, skanking keeps you fit.
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That video of the church-going folk is fucking AMAZING!!!
 
Skuxx said:
I can't even get the motivation to work out. I've tried but like 5 minutes in, the bong and fridge start calling my name
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Been there.

But - it doesn't all have to be "working out".

I walk when I talk. On the phone, Skype, FaceTime, whatever. I'm on the phone A LOT! And when I am, I am walking - inside the house mainly.

Turns out, on a regular work day - I do 10,000 steps by 3pm without ever leaving my home.

I bought this lazy-man step counter thing - and it looks like you are contacting the mother ship when you tap it because lights go off.

Anywho - I think it's fucking cool. Called...Fit bit??
Photo on 2014-08-29 at 12.04 PM #2.jpg


Don't act like you're not jealous of my Casio calculator watch...
 
Yessica... said:
Been there.

But - it doesn't all have to be "working out".

I walk when I talk. On the phone, Skype, FaceTime, whatever. I'm on the phone A LOT! And when I am, I am walking - inside the house mainly.

Turns out, on a regular work day - I do 10,000 steps by 3pm without ever leaving my home.

I bought this lazy-man step counter thing - and it looks like you are contacting the mother ship when you tap it because lights go off.

Anywho - I think it's fucking cool. Called...Fit bit??
View attachment 3241358


Don't act like you're not jealous of my Casio calculator watch...
Click to expand...


My gf has the shit fit on her wrist too. What's with the need to count your fucking steps? Isn't it obvious if you're a fat slob? Nowadays we need clarification.... I suppose "YOU ARE A FAT CUNT" appears on your laptop screen when you plug it in. It's basically a $100 mirror.

Sorry I'm not really as angry about it as this sounds but I'm not sure I get the point. You know if your fat ass has been eating Cheetos all day, don't you? Likewise you know if you went to the gym 6 days this week.
 
bu$hleaguer said:
My gf has the shit fit on her wrist too. What's with the need to count your fucking steps? Isn't it obvious if you're a fat slob? Nowadays we need clarification.... I suppose "YOU ARE A FAT CUNT" appears on your laptop screen when you plug it in. It's basically a $100 mirror.

Sorry I'm not really as angry about it as this sounds but I'm not sure I get the point. You know if your fat ass has been eating Cheetos all day, don't you? Likewise you know if you went to the gym 6 days this week.
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First off - SUCK MY DICK.

Whew - now that that's out of my system.

I like it - because it tracks my sleep (which I feel is important) and I found out that I am ALWAYS moving. I do between 10,000 and 26,000 steps a day. Not usually less than that unless I'm literally in bed all day - which doesn't happen often.

It clocks your "most active minutes/ times". It clocks that if you're having very active sex - something I also thought was pretty friggin cool.

I ALWAYS use apps with my exercise/ diet routine. I like this one because it's all in one, and you don't even have to type anything really and it just tracks you.

Plus - when you tap it - it looks like you are contacting aliens. which is fucking cool as tits.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET ONE.

Just stop being a cunt about mine, cool?

You on your period or something?
 
Yessica... said:
First off - SUCK MY DICK.

Whew - now that that's out of my system.

I like it - because it tracks my sleep (which I feel is important) and I found out that I am ALWAYS moving. I do between 10,000 and 26,000 steps a day. Not usually less than that unless I'm literally in bed all day - which doesn't happen often.

It clocks your "most active minutes/ times". It clocks that if you're having very active sex - something I also thought was pretty friggin cool.

I ALWAYS use apps with my exercise/ diet routine. I like this one because it's all in one, and you don't even have to type anything really and it just tracks you.

Plus - when you tap it - it looks like you are contacting aliens. which is fucking cool as tits.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET ONE.

Just stop being a cunt about mine, cool?

You on your period or something?
Click to expand...

Wow, you sound like YOUR on your period. Maybe YOU should chill the fuck out or eat one of your 22,000 fuckin cookies, ya fuckin pyscho. Hers an idea- maybe that's why you're always restless in your sleep, you're always on some sort of fucking substance. Why are you so butt hurt, did you create the fuckin shit bit? If not, then take some fucking Valium and sit the fuck down before you end up in a virtual headlock and my balls in your butthole. It's pretty sad you need motivation from a gizmo that is complete bullshit. Do you really believe that the sleep stats are correct? From a $100 wristband? To really find out your sleep patterns you'd need to spend a lot more than that.... And they wouldn't test your wrist, either.

I was just stating my opinion, and I wasn't calling you a cunt or a fatass either. Eat 22 cookies and snort some Valium. Damn.
 
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bu$hleaguer said:
Wow, you sound like YOUR on your period. Maybe YOU should chill the fuck out or eat one of your 22,000 fuckin cookies, ya fuckin pyscho. Hers an idea- maybe that's why you're always restless in your sleep, you're always on some sort of fucking substance. Why are you so butt hurt, did you create the fuckin shit bit? If not, then take some fucking Valium and sit the fuck down before you end up in a virtual headlock and my balls in your butthole. It's pretty sad you need motivation from a gizmo that is complete bullshit. Do you really believe that the sleep stats are correct? From a $100 wristband? To really find out your sleep patterns you'd need to spend a lot more than that.... And they wouldn't test your wrist, either.

I was just stating my opinion, and I wasn't calling you a cunt or a fatass either. Eat 22 cookies and snort some Valium. Damn.
Click to expand...



Lol im sorry @Yessica...

But he has a point people take a different sized steps like your a woman so your steps are smaller so you'd be around 8000 steps per mile

Plus just walk more than 45 mins

I spend 3 hours at the gym and 2 hours is devoted to cardio the other hour is lifting

But even though ive been following the same workout plan since forever

I still dont lose weight I mostly try to gain weight in my muscles

I used to weigh 250 now im 260 but I don't look as fat

Not cuz muscle burns fat but the act of lifting and cardio burns fat then lifting mixed with creatinine but water weight in my muscles making me gain weight but not fat

The only gadget that helped me was my phone for music

To each his own I guess lol

Sorry im a little buzzed so tht probably didn't make since
 
bu$hleaguer said:
Wow, you sound like YOUR on your period. Maybe YOU should chill the fuck out or eat one of your 22,000 fuckin cookies, ya fuckin pyscho. Hers an idea- maybe that's why you're always restless in your sleep, you're always on some sort of fucking substance. Why are you so butt hurt, did you create the fuckin shit bit? If not, then take some fucking Valium and sit the fuck down before you end up in a virtual headlock and my balls in your butthole. It's pretty sad you need motivation from a gizmo that is complete bullshit. Do you really believe that the sleep stats are correct? From a $100 wristband? To really find out your sleep patterns you'd need to spend a lot more than that.... And they wouldn't test your wrist, either.

I was just stating my opinion, and I wasn't calling you a cunt or a fatass either. Eat 22 cookies and snort some Valium. Damn.
Click to expand...
bahahahahahaha

You DO realize - I have no dick...therefore in my first statement, I pretty much say that I am JUST JOKING>

whose butt-hurt?

Cause I called you a cunt and said you were on your period?

Haven't we met - this is how WE DO.

Anywho - I use it to track what I'm already doing. That's it - that's all.

I don't need to loose weight - I should probably gain some actually.

But any who - I wasn't meaning to be THAT kind of offensive. I was going for an "eat-a-bag-of-dicks" kind of offensive.
 
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