Here is an Irish/Scottish/British joke and yes, it is dry just like their humor. It is best said with an Irish accent.
Albert and Elizabeth have just come over on the boat and Elizabeth is ill. She comes home from the doctor and she asks Albert, 'the doctor said I need a urine specimen, do you know what a urine specimen is?'
'No,' says Albert, 'but why don't you go next door and ask Edith what a urine specimen is.'
Elizabeth goes next door and comes back a few minutes later. Albert astonished at her appearance says, 'Elizabeth you're bloody black and blue from head to toe. What happened?'
'Well,' says Elizabeth, 'I went next door and asked Edith what a urine specimen is and she told me to piss in a bottle and I told her to shit in her hat.'
You'd have to be Irish/Scottish/British to get this one. And it is better said out loud with an accent. Of course, anyone black or hispanic is not allowed to tell a Irish/Scottish/British joke.