Hey old farts..how many over 50 yrs?

Javadog

Javadog

Well-Known Member
I remember Steve Martin having some fun with how we use Shit as a placeholder word.

"I visited the turd museum. Hey don't laugh, they have some neat crap in there.
You know, I hear that some of this Shit is very valuable"
 
haight

haight

Well-Known Member
Javadog said:
I like Fuck. It's a proud word. "I am Fuck. Fuck of the Mountain!"

Twat means nothing but twat. You can say "I'm gonna Snatch that Pussy
and put him in a Box and take it on an airplane" but you can't say twat!
Click to expand...
But they do sell box lunches on the plane.
 
TacoMac

TacoMac

Well-Known Member
Javadog said:
I like Fuck. It's a proud word. "I am Fuck. Fuck of the Mountain!"

Twat means nothing but twat. You can say "I'm gonna Snatch that Pussy
and put him in a Box and take it on an airplane" but you can't say twat!

His seven types of fart was another good bit. :0)
Click to expand...
"You do know the 7 words you can never say on TV or radio, don't you?

Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits.

Those are the heavy 7. Those are the ones that will curve your spine, grow hair on your hands, and keep the country from winning the war.

But tits doesn't even belong on the list, man! It's such a friendly sounding word...hey, Tits! Meet Toots!

It sounds like a snack of some sort...yes, I know, it is...but I don't mean your sexist snack! I mean NEW NABISCO TITS!!!! New Cheese Tits! Corn Tits, Sesame Tits...

TATER TITS!!!

BET YOU CAN'T EAT JUST ONE!!!"

- George Carlin
 
TacoMac

TacoMac

Well-Known Member
I know pretty much every word George Carlin ever spoke. I do Indian Sergeants and Al Sleet the Hippy Dippy Weatherman the best.
 
Javadog

Javadog

Well-Known Member
I want to find the whole, original text of the bit that went something like:

I'm aware that some stare at my hair.
Do I care? Au contraire!
 
TacoMac

TacoMac

Well-Known Member
Javadog said:
I want to find the whole, original text of the bit that went something like:

I'm aware that some stare at my hair.
Do I care? Au contraire!
Click to expand...
I'm aware that some people stare at my hair.
In fact, to be fair, some really despair of my hair.
But I don't care, cause they're not aware,
Nor are they debonair.
In fact, they're just square.
They see hair down to there, say, "Beware" and go off on a tear!
And I say, "No fair!"
A head that's bare is really nowhere.
So be like a bear, be fair with your hair!
Show it you care.
Wear it to there.
Or to there.
Or to there, if you dare!
My wife bought some hair at a fair, to use as a spare.
Did I care?
Au contraire!
Spare hair is fair!
In fact, hair can be rare.
Fred Astair has no hair,
Nor does a chair,
Nor does a chocolate éclair,
And where is the hair on a pear?
Nowhere, mon frère!
So now that I've shared this affair of the hair,
I'm going to repair to my lair and use Nair, do you care?

*you're welcome*
 
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