Honesty! How honest are you?????

Why do we lie???? We mainly lie to:

  • protect our egos (we do not want to reveal that much of ourselves and use it as protection)

    Votes: 10 21.3%

  • protect the ones we love.

    Votes: 6 12.8%

  • both of the above

    Votes: 22 46.8%

  • just get by because everyone else does it (social conditioning.

    Votes: 1 2.1%

  • Other. please elaborate.

    Votes: 8 17.0%
  • Total voters
    47
Lacy

Lacy

New Member
How honest are you?

Some classic examples:

Honey, do these pants make me look fat?

You're given too much money back at a store.

Your girlfriend gets her hair done orange with purple streaks and just LOVES it.

You are married and have a harmless secret crush on someone.

You are shopping at the grocery store and you are famished so you scoop some grapes.

You are at a ATM behind an elderly woman and she leaves with her card still in the machine ready for the next transaction.

This list could go on and on but you get the point.

I posed this question on another thread one time and said that I think it is possible to be too honest and several people responded with;

there is no such thing as too honest!!!!!!

Honest is always presumed to be a black or white subject BUT is it?

Is one either totally honest or not?

I've often run into situations where my blatant honesty has been to my disadvantage but I have always figured that as long as I can go home and feel good about the person looking in the mirror, then its all good.
No matter what the loss.

Is being too honest the same as being too gullible?

I often wonder how someone can deceive another clearly for their own advantage and give themselves a pat on the back or credit for being more intelligent. (ha ha sure fooled them etc...)

Why do we lie?

 
bwinn27

bwinn27

Well-Known Member
hi lacy im pretty good about not lieing 90percent of the time. sometimes i will lie to get my way or to get out of trouble or sometimes i lie about my name online in fear of the cops. I dont grow weed or smoke it no what i mean. and sorry just a quick queston can some one help my girl out with a good drink to clean you out its under the post bwinns girlfriend sorry to do that but she really needs help thanks again and merry xmas everyone
 
tahoe58

tahoe58

Well-Known Member
this is one of those tough questions cuz I agree that it is tough to be 100% honest....I mean we tell our kids there's a tooth fairy, and santa claus, and the easter bunny.....that's not 100% honest....but I wouldn't change my behaviour in this regard. I like what you said there below Lacy.....you gotta live it in your soul and in your gut....and if it feels wrong ..... it prolly is wrong....and vice versa....problem is that's an emotion that is driven by a good conscience....and some people did not grow up learning how to have a good conscience..... so I leave with the question remaining....why do we lie? - I believe its because it is a learned behaviour that we benefited from in the past, and until the consequences of lying are no longer beneficial....one that has learned to lie will continue to do so....until the consequences make them change their behaviour...:blsmoke:
Lacy said:
.......but I have always figured that as long as I can go home and feel good about the person looking in the mirror, then its all good.......
Click to expand...
 
Erniedytn

Erniedytn

Master of Mayhem
I didnt vote because there is no option there for me. I keep lying to a minimum if any at all. I have a very guilty concious and it always gets to me if I do lie. Now in a case where I get too much money back from the store, find a wallet, etc, I keep the hell outta that shit because I do not have to speak. I just pick that shit up and go on my way:eyesmoke:
 
nowstopwhining

nowstopwhining

Too many brownies
When I was a kid my father always taught me lying was the absolute worst thing I could possibly do. He didn't care what I did as long as I was honest with him wed have a nice talk and it would be ok...there was a few times when I lied and my punishment was horrible.

I feel that becasue of the way I was raised as a kid im a pretty honest person.

I cant say I dont make a few white lies here and there....but who doesnt.

:peace:
 
closet.cult

closet.cult

New Member
i'm honest about 98% of the time.

but how would you know? ;-)

but really, i am. i was raised that way and can't help myself. even when it would in my interest to lie or just be silent, i break down and tell the truth. it's a problem.
 
nowstopwhining

nowstopwhining

Too many brownies
closet.cult said:
i'm honest about 98% of the time.

but how would you know? ;-)

but really, i am. i was raised that way and can't help myself. even when it would in my interest to lie or just be silent, i break down and tell the truth. it's a problem.
Click to expand...
Yeah even if I do lie the truth ends up coming out very very quickly anyways....hahaha

Lying is a very stupid thing to do as far as im concerned. I know a few people whos lives are almost run by the lies they have created...and they seriously cant get themselves out of this story of a life they have created. Its very sad.
 
nongreenthumb

nongreenthumb

Well-Known Member
Lacy said:
How honest are you?

Some classic examples:

Honey, do these pants make me look fat?

No thats your ass that does that
You're given too much money back at a store.

Business doesn't give me shit back in return, you win some you lose some.
Your girlfriend gets her hair done orange with purple streaks and just LOVES it.

She could sleep downstairs as a guard tiger.
You are married and have a harmless secret crush on someone.
Not gonna happen, no interest in anyone else,

You are shopping at the grocery store and you are famished so you scoop some grapes.

I could wait till i got outside to eat something i'd paid for,

You are at a ATM behind an elderly woman and she leaves with her card still in the machine ready for the next transaction.

Give the old dear her card back bless her and tell her to be more careful.
This list could go on and on but you get the point.

I posed this question on another thread one time and said that I think it is possible to be too honest and several people responded with;

there is no such thing as too honest!!!!!!

Honest is always presumed to be a black or white subject BUT is it?

Is one either totally honest or not?

I've often run into situations where my blatant honesty has been to my disadvantage but I have always figured that as long as I can go home and feel good about the person looking in the mirror, then its all good.
No matter what the loss.

Is being too honest the same as being too gullible?

I often wonder how someone can deceive another clearly for their own advantage and give themselves a pat on the back or credit for being more intelligent. (ha ha sure fooled them etc...)

Why do we lie?
Click to expand...
nlaowp.....:)
 
Truu

Truu

Well-Known Member
If its an important person, I'll say what they want to hear. If its just a good friend, then im completly honest no matter the situation.
 
nowstopwhining

nowstopwhining

Too many brownies
Truu said:
If its an important person, I'll say what they want to hear. If its just a good friend, then im completly honest no matter the situation.
Click to expand...
who would you consider an important person? The ones I consider important would be my immediate family, girlfriend, and very close friends.

Do you mean like a boss, manager, etc.?
 
Lacy

Lacy

New Member
I agree with you Tahoe, it is a tough one. We are conditoned from an early age to believe in fairy tales and yet don't lie. We see our parents and others lie but yet told not to.:-|:twisted:

I agree that you do have to go with what feels right. For me that is.
I don't think honesty is black and white but has many grey areas.

When I was a kid my parents made us go to sunday school and then church but did not ever go to church themselves. I remember trying very hard to understand religion but there seemed to be so many contradictions. Looking back I am surprised to even remember this but the issue of honesty is always forefront in my consciousness.

When I got older I realized that there were no advantages to being honest and became a bit of a rebel. Then as I got older I took honesty more seriously. So brutally honest that I may have hurt others people's feeling but would feel good about myself because at least I was being honest. :?
Now I look at this as being too honest. To the point of being selfish.
It is a tough one.

Where do you draw the line and is there even a line? I suppose there is a line for each and everyone of us and that's why this is such a diffcult question to answer.

I used to think if someone asked me a question that I always had to be 100% honest but now realize there's being honest:mrgreen: and then there's just being stupid.:roll:. Being too honest you expose yourself to being too vulnerable.
My husband is always telling me that when it comes to strangers and people you don't know, then you only talk in a 'need to know' level otherwise the rest is irrelevant and will come back to bite you in the butt.:hump: And its true. He's smart with people. I wish I had his people skills but I'm at least I am with someone who tells it like it is.:mrgreen:

Even watching these shows like American or Canadian Idol I often wonder if some of these people even have friends.:confused:

If I had a friend and they were stoked about singing for an audition and I knew they couldn't sing.:shock: I would HAVE to find a way to let this friend understand that its not a good idea.:?:cry:

Or people that want to be on the Bachelor show.:confused: I don't understand why anyone would want to put themselves out there like that.
Not that I totally hide in the shadows or anything:oops: but doesn't anyone close warn these people that its not a good idea. :neutral:

Just food for thought and thanks for contributing your person thoughts and beliefs.
I know it might be a touchy subject but its in interesting one.:roll::peace:

tahoe58 said:
this is one of those tough questions cuz I agree that it is tough to be 100% honest....I mean we tell our kids there's a tooth fairy, and santa claus, and the easter bunny.....that's not 100% honest....but I wouldn't change my behaviour in this regard. I like what you said there below Lacy.....you gotta live it in your soul and in your gut....and if it feels wrong ..... it prolly is wrong....and vice versa....problem is that's an emotion that is driven by a good conscience....and some people did not grow up learning how to have a good conscience..... so I leave with the question remaining....why do we lie? - I believe its because it is a learned behaviour that we benefited from in the past, and until the consequences of lying are no longer beneficial....one that has learned to lie will continue to do so....until the consequences make them change their behaviour...:blsmoke:
Click to expand...
 
donnieosmond

donnieosmond

Well-Known Member
If my girlfriend came up to me and asked me if the pants made her look fat I would lie till the ends of the earth.
 
0mitt3d

0mitt3d

Active Member
I was taught that it pays off to be honest and so far it has. Anytime I was in trouble as a kid I would just tell my parents what happened and they'd be understanding and often bail me out of jams. I usually only lie if I'm 99% sure I'll get away it and that's rare. Then again there's always that group of people that you can't help but lie to, for instance, the police. Especially since they often use lies in order to get you to incriminate yourself. Sigh... Sometimes lies are the only way out of a tough spot. I guess it all depends on the situation. :confused:
 
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