How Not To Grow Dope

GreenphoeniX

GreenphoeniX

Well-Known Member
Hahaha!!!!!!

Good shit!

And this is so true! I try to help anyway, but when a complete newbie says your wrong because they say so, even if you have proof to the contrary, I just have to ignore them, it beats arguing with idiots.

Well, I do have to admit that this (somewhat fictionalised) bit was prompted by newbie posts, particularly the ones where the newb has planted their seeds and then gone out looking for information on how to grow. Sort of like getting roaring stoned and then going out looking for the party.

The most frustrating posts to deal with for REALLY experienced forum writers fall into two basic categories:

1) Newbie posts incredibly broad queries like "OK, I want poundage, how do I grow plants? What is soil? Why can't I use halogen motorcycle fog lights to grow poundage?! WHY AREN'T YOU LAZY FUCKIN' BASTARDS ANSWERING MY QUESTIONS, AREN'T YOU HERE TO SERVE ME?!"

2) Newbies who KNOW they are already weed barons, by virtue of reading a 35 year old growbook, who then go on to enthusiastically offer incredibly bad advice to the newer newbies, leaving the whole schlemozzle to be cleaned up by the REALLY knowledgeable crew, only for the really experienced posters to be told by the somewhat-new-newbies that the advice they've just given is TOTALLY WRONG cos it doesn't match what was said in the 35 year old grow book.

Anyone got any spare birth control pills to feminise my plants?
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Lord Dangly Bits

Lord Dangly Bits

Well-Known Member
Roseman said:
2 weeks ago, someone started a thread here called "I got busted" or something similar to that. He said his girlfriend and him got into a fight, she left pissed, and an hour later,the narcs showed up.
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This is exactly why, when I am dateing a woman, and she insist on coming to my home, She must take pictures naked with my plants. You would be amazed at what a few juicey pictures can do to a womans attitude, once she is reminded of them. :fire: :-P
 
grandpabear3

grandpabear3

New Member
Lord Dangly Bits said:
This is exactly why, when I am dateing a woman, and she insist on coming to my home, She must take pictures naked with my plants. You would be amazed at what a few juicey pictures can do to a womans attitude, once she is reminded of them. :fire: :-P
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you sir have been elevated to near god-like status in my book.
fuckin inspiationalkiss-ass:mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:
 
S

Stoney McDoper

Active Member
Lord Dangly Bits said:
This is exactly why, when I am dateing a woman, and she insist on coming to my home, She must take pictures naked with my plants. You would be amazed at what a few juicey pictures can do to a womans attitude, once she is reminded of them. :fire: :-P
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yah!! blackmaleing a women always makes for hott sexx and good suckurity, too! until she tellz her nu boyfren and he cums ova and busts yer jaw steels yer doap and the calls the kops
 
Fyfe

Fyfe

Well-Known Member
we have got to have some more pleeeeease! :eyesmoke:

this has got to be one of the funniest threads i have ever come across.

ENCORE! :peace:



bongsmilie
 
CustomHydro

CustomHydro

Well-Known Member
Al B. Fuct said:
If you can get away with not telling ANYONE you grow, you're miles ahead.
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So true! The biggest problem I hear of is growers getting robbed by a supposed friend... Jealousy kicks in and unfortunately in some people friendship cant compete with jealousy...
People think I cant even open the door to my grow room. I told them that when my landlord split this house into 2 units he was too lazy to take the door out and put drywall up so he just threw a lock on it. They think that thru the door is the neighbors part of the house. Works for me...
 
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